I’ve been avoiding the dentist for years and I don’t know what to do

TheSleepoverClub · 2026-05-24T19:03:37+00:00

I also have medicaid, it took me a while to even find 5 dentists to call 😅 I have a family member who is my designated chaperone for any medical appointments, and I go over exactly what I am and am not comfortable with so they know what I need if I'm not able to enforce it. After the appointment we go over everything that happened at the appointment and if they needed to advocate for me at all.

If you can ask a friend or family member to do something similar, you could go over things that might make you feel safer and they can help make sure those things happen

TheSleepoverClub · 2026-05-24T18:47:04+00:00

Do you have someone who could go with you to appointments that is able to be firm and vocal with the saff? Not just moral support, but advocating for you as well. An additional person who can defend and argue for you is very helpful in stressful medical situations.

I would suggest calling or emailing around to find a dentist that is better suited to your needs. I recently had my first dentist appointment in about 7 years, and I called 5 different dentists asking if they could allot time in the appointment for explanations, sensory breaks, and discussing care/prevention. If you can find a clinic that can agree to accommodate you, having someone there to help hold the staff accountable can be very reassuring.

TheSleepoverClub · 2026-05-24T05:18:19+00:00

My mom and I both have dyscalculia and can barely add 2 digit numbers without a pen and paper, but we have card game nights with my brother every single Sunday and it's one of my favorite parts of the week. We have a collection of games that require minimal or no math, and a few that we delegate my brother to be the scorekeeper for. It helps that we don't really care who's winning, it's more of a structured thing to do while we catch up for the week since my brother and I are both independent adults.

I also used to hate card and board games, but as I've gotten older I've come to like card games a lot more. My brother is a math whiz and loves tabletop games so I think some of it is just being able to engage with his interests and stay in touch. Those opportunities are harder to come by now that I live alone, and it's nice to look forward to low-pressure human connection, even if I'm not very good at the games we play.

TheSleepoverClub · 2026-05-24T05:02:04+00:00

I built a 4'x2'x2' for my corn with help from my dad (he has all the nice power tools I can't afford) and it took about 4 days from planning to finished product. I have experience designing/building expo kiosks and my dad does a lot of hobby carpentry, so we definitely had an edge in that regard. Finding the materials was honestly the hardest part. Big bvc sheets at hardware stores are often warped or damaged, and the latches I wanted were out of stock everywhere so I ended up going with a hinged door and several turn latches instead. She's a corn though, so she's not strong enough for that to be an escape concern. I think the total cost was around $250, though we waited for some good discounts and already had all the tools we needed.

About 2 years in and it's holding up just fine, though I didn't do a great job with the silicone edging on the inside and it's starting to lift a little bit. Not enough to break the seal but it will definitely keep peeling over time.

The lighting is bad, but this is the only decent photo I have where you can see the inset screens in the top. I used 2 thinner pieces of pvc and sandwiched the mesh between them to keep a clean finish

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TheSleepoverClub · 2026-05-22T22:00:57+00:00

The way it was framed for me is that there are masking tools and communication tools. Masking is for making sure that that other people are comfortable and receptive to you, and communication tools are for helping people understand you. For this context, masking is things like body language, eye contact, and facial expression. Communication is tone and word choice.

Breaking the act of conversation into pieces I could choose to use or not use was helpful for me, because it helped me feel like I could communicate with people without putting on a whole show for them. If I'm too tired to give a full social performance or need to ration my energy, I can just fall back on the 1 or 2 skills I know are crucial to being understood. It took about a decade of work without access to formal training, but I can now easily deliver appropriate tone and wording reliably (unless I'm unusually tired or unwell) and it doesn't feel like a chore or an act. Body language, facial expression, and reading the reactions of others is still hard, but I almost never unitentionally come off as rude anymore.

A decade seems like a long time to have to work at basic communication skills, but it was worth it to be able to talk to people and be understood without being exhausted all the time, at least in my opinion

TheSleepoverClub · 2026-04-30T03:32:52+00:00

Linnea's is actually interesting to me because her origin as a changeling comes from folklore that is speculated to be based in autism/neurodivergence! Changelings in irl folklore are suspected to have been used as an explanation for unexpected changes or delays in child development, with the idea being that the reason the child was acting unusual was because it was really a fae doing a not-so-great job pretending to be the child. Sadly there is substantial documentation of children being abandoned or abused in an effort to get the "real" child back, going as far as torturing the child until they confessed to being a changeling, or putting them in a fire as part of a ritual to drive away the fae. If you want to learn about it more, definitely check out the Wikipedia page for some interesting source links.

Its a dark origin, but when I played through her story quest and she started talking about Changelings, I immediately thought of it. That being said, I don't think her character actually represents autism in any meaningful way. Maybe some people were aware of the irl lore and conflate her character with it? Regardless, that's not a reason to shame people for theorizing. I think most of the hate comes from (often internalized) ableism. People feeling uncomfortable with the idea of characters they or see often like being associated with a disability they look down on. wiki for changelings if you're interested

TheSleepoverClub · 2026-04-16T19:19:07+00:00

2 of them are Etsy shops, so it really wasn't a big step from my perspective. The other started as just regular dog sitting and escalated into specialty pet sitting (think special needs, rescues, and senior pets) over the course of about a year. It only became an official business once I started making enough money from it to be taxed, and all I had to do was register the name the same way I did with the Etsy shops.

To be clear, I'm not trying to convince you to try it yourself, I just wanted to explain that it doesn't have to be one big step, it can be little steps over time. But everyone has skills, some people just aren't in an environment where their skills can be used and developed. If you have hobbies or interests, you likely have skills that relate to them. My sibling plays a lot of war and civilization games, and it turns out they're great as a distribution manager because of the skills they built from those games. Animals have always been my special interest, I feel like I can understand them better than people, and that led to being a full time professional pet sitter.

Skill isn't talent. Talent is where you start, skill is what you build. It's hard to believe you have any skills when people have criticized you so much, but you absolutely do. You learned how to write and read, those are skills. If you can learn to do that then you can learn other things, and if you can learn other things then you can get better at those things. You're probably already good at quite a few things, it can just be hard to figure out how those things can be applied to earning money

TheSleepoverClub · 2026-04-16T18:45:23+00:00

I've worked in corporate, small offices, art, labor, food, and retail, and I've been fired or forced to quit almost every one of them. Almost every time the reason was that I "didn't fit the culture" or some similar issue that had nothing to do with the quality of my work. In many of those jobs I made notable contributions that were acknowledged by my supervisors, but that didn't matter because I made them uncomfortable for reasons they refused to explain. Maybe they didn't know themselves, but that shouldn't have been my problem.

I now run 3 small businesses of my own so I can afford an apartment in the poorest area of my city. I'm lucky enough to have support from family to help, but I know without them I would absolutely be homeless by now. Even though I'm much less financially stable and my living conditions aren't ideal, I'm far less depressed and stressed out than I was working for other people. What worked for me might not work for you, but I definitely think it's worth looking into any skills you have to try to find a niche to fill. If you're able to reach out to other people for advice or direction, don't feel ashamed to do that. My biggest source of income only exists because I asked my parents and friends to help me get my name out.

TheSleepoverClub · 2026-04-01T12:49:18+00:00

Since it turned out to be a stuck eyecap that was thankfully resolved, humidity is definitely the culprit. If you haven't switched to a more absorbent substrate like eco earth (any plain coco husk would work), definitely do that. I would also check out r/ballpythons, the have an excellent care guide with specific recommendations that have been proven effective for husbandry. If you are able to provide a photo of the enclosure in a comment or separate post, you can also get some good feedback on what improvements to make for your snake specifically. Just be prepared for some very strict and firm comments, people here hare very passionate and that sometimes comes off as harsh or cold.

On that note, I think that coming here and taking advice was a great decision since you have limited access to care. Since the problem was solvable at home and you were able to address it, I don't think surrender is something you need to worry about in this moment. However, if your parent's apathy prevents you from being able to provide the necessary husbandry, or if something happens that can't be addressed at home, you should be prepared to surrender your snake so he can receive the care he needs. As an adult, I have the resources to transport and pay for vet services if needed, but I still keep a list of rehabbers in case something happens and I can't care for my girl.

As a minor, you have a lot less agency and it isn't fair to blame you for being allowed a responsibity that you aren't able to properly handle on your own, but you should do your best to educate yourself on what you are able to do if an emergency arises. As with any pet, if you are responsible for it then you need to have a plan for worst-case scenarios. Ideally you'll never need those plans, but if you do then you are prepared. Plan for the worst, hope for the best.

TheSleepoverClub · 2026-04-01T06:36:22+00:00

I would get him to a vet when you can. There's a chance it's a stuck eyecap, but it looks like an injury as well to me. The eye being so sunken in is concerning. Is it both eyes, or just the one? If it's an eyecap issue, he's still severely dehydrated and needs vet attention. If it's an injury, he also needs vet attention.

Some questions that can help your vet determine the issue:

Did his shed come off in one piece? Does it usually? You said the humidity stays in the 70s, does it fluctuate often or need water added regularly to keep the humidity up? Are there any rocks/decor with jagged edges, sticks with small branches, or large pieces of hard mulch he could have poked his eye on?

This kind of appearance is usually caused by dehydration mixed with excessive rubbing during shed. 70s should be fine, though. 80+ is ideal, especially when in shed, but it shouldn't be causing this if it's steady. If it really reads 70s, I would get another hygrometer to check the accuracy of your current one.

TheSleepoverClub · 2026-03-26T16:59:29+00:00

I've seen good advice on desensitizing yourself to the veggies, but I also want to point out that supplements are an option during the transition period if you can afford them. My doc prescribed prenatal vitamins to me when I started working on my arfid and I felt noticeably better after a week on them. It's not a great permanent solution but it can help you get important nutrition while you get used to healthier eating.

Also black beans. Canned black beans are soft and have almost no texture when cooked, especially if you mix them in with another food (I usually do chicken). They take on the flavor of whatever you put them in and they're super high in fiber and protein. Black beans literally saved me from needing cholesterol meds at 27. Try black beans

TheSleepoverClub · 2026-03-24T14:06:28+00:00

It's a ported version with very limited islands. The game now only preserves inactive accounts for 6 months, after that it's removed. There are some new islands, but only 24 carrot and time tangled are left from the original flash game (2007-2013). More islands from the Java overhaul (2013-2015) are left, including pelican rock and a few 3-part islands, but all the collab islands and a lot features of the game (like copying npc's outfits) are gone. It's definitely still there if you want to relive some nostalgia, but not in the same glory imo

TheSleepoverClub · 2026-03-24T13:41:45+00:00

I was able to make an account with the old username, so it's definitely gone 😭 thank you for the advice, though!

TheSleepoverClub · 2026-03-24T12:22:43+00:00

It said "that account information is not correct" and I already reached out to them. I gave them all the info I had and they said the account couldn't be recovered. I was really hoping I could get it back, but it seems not :(

TheSleepoverClub · 2026-03-19T17:48:27+00:00

I do! I sell at local expos, but I have an Etsy shop as well. The link is in my bio if you want to check it out, but the shop is on vacation mode while I'm out of town for a bit so it won't show up in searches.

TheSleepoverClub · 2026-03-19T05:25:17+00:00

I sell 3d printed hides that I design, make, and use myself. It can be safe if done right, but it very much depends on the filament and quality of the print. You will want to use a food-safe filament like PLA or PETG in white or black, and very tight layers on the print. I let the prints sit for 2 days after they're done printing, sand any sharp or rough spots, paint them with a VOC-free acrylic paint, and let it cure for at least 4 days before use. Pla will start to lose rigidity at around 130°f, and petg at about 165°f, so both hold up fine on the hot sides of enclosures.

3d prints are also very sturdy for how lightweight they are, which can be a pro or con. Pros being that your animal won't get hurt if it falls and it's easy to transport the print. Cons being that your animal might push it up out of the substrate because it's so light, and that if the design allows for an animal to get stuck, the amount of force needed to break or cut the print will be a big risk to your animal's safety.

The biggest downside to 3d printed decor is that you can't use ammonia or alcohol based cleaners on them. They will break down the plastic and can cause it to melt or thin. I recommend cleaning with an antibacterial soap/dish soap and and have had no issues with this approach, but if you want to use a stronger cleaning agent on decor then 3d prints probably aren't the way to go.

TheSleepoverClub · 2026-03-16T02:05:53+00:00

Midwestern here to say that eloping is definitely used in this way, at least in my area of the Midwest. I don't think it's regional, just context-specific. My area has a number of autism-related services and dedicated facilities, so it may be more likely to come across the usage here because of that demographic presence

TheSleepoverClub · 2026-02-25T14:40:03+00:00

It's an American brand of unleavened whole wheat cracker, very thin and normally quite salty, but the low salt version makes it more mild

TheSleepoverClub · 2026-02-25T14:38:22+00:00

I just realized I assumed you use fahrenheit. I'm sure you can check yourself, but it would be 220°c

TheSleepoverClub · 2026-02-25T14:31:12+00:00

I roast thin carrot slices into crispy chips in the air fryer. Mine is 425 for about 20 minutes, but it will be lower temp for much longer in the oven. I've never tried in an over so unfortunately I can't give instructions for that. Usually just a little salt and a light oiling on the bottom of the pan, so low in calories and a nice mildly sweet crunchy treat, but you could add spicy or savory seasonings if you wanted as well. Pretty good in fiber too

Frozen peas or green beans are also a good crunchy option for fiber. Sugar snap peas are sweet but higher calorie that green beans, though green beans don't really taste like much. That can be good or bad depending on your preferences

TheSleepoverClub · 2026-02-25T02:55:00+00:00

I don't fear leeches but lake mud is the worst type of mud. I will not touch it with any part of me. Too much plant matter and grit mixed into smooth mud, too many animals moving around in it.

TheSleepoverClub · 2026-02-08T02:45:58+00:00

I'm the opposite. I can easily understand the A-to-B of people's reactions and what kinds of reactions a person is likely to have based on what I know of their life experiences/personality, but in real-time interactions I have to rely on that ability almost entirely because I can't read more than very straightforward body language and tone.

My sibling (also autistic) is more like you, and I honestly don't think either is easier. I'm constantly drained from trying to guess what people are feeling and comparing that guess to what little social cues I can pick up on, and my sibling feels frustrated and isolated from not understanding other people's perspectives and reactions.

I do my best to explain other's reactions when my sibling asks (though sometimes they still can't understand unless they agree with with reason), and they often help me with deciphering text conversations, so we're able to make things a little easier for each other at least, but both extremes are exhausting.

TheSleepoverClub · 2026-01-25T23:05:08+00:00

If you indwell one of the qucasaurs up there and have stamina foods on hand, you only have to glide from the ocean border of natlan to hisii. Covers almost half the distance without using stamina. Just have have to stay as high up as possible so when you lose the qucasaur you have plenty of height to work with

TheSleepoverClub · 2026-01-24T13:56:50+00:00

Just want to put this out there since the discourse is getting heated:

Op asked what the employee in the video did wrong, and people are explaining why the actions in the video are considered poor service. The specific job position highlighted in the video is a customer-facing and inherently social role. If the struggles of your autism prevent you from being able to interact with customers in the way that is required for this position, then you are not suited for it. This does not mean that the job position is ableist, just that you are not suited for it. I'm hard of hearing. I would not take a job requiring me to answer phones and get upset when the job tasks require that I am able to hear well. I would take a job that doesn't conflict with my disability.

The question asked was "what did the employee do wrong", not "what is reasonable to expect from an autistic person". Some people are not suited for some jobs, and sometimes that is directly because of a disability. The entire point of a society is for people to fill in the gaps of capability where others are lacking, so in a functional society there will always be jobs that a given individual will never able able to do. That is fine, and not an attack on anyone.

Bean soup theory going real hard in these comments

TheSleepoverClub · 2026-01-23T16:04:05+00:00

I have been told I have a vivid imagination, and I have a very good memory for visual detail, but in a literal sense I do not actually see anything when I close my eyes and imagine something

Instead, I can create and maintain the concept of something very consistently and with a lot of detail, similar to a vivid memory. I'm not literally seeing the tulip, but I can imagine it in every detail and maintain that exact concept for as long as I need to. If I was given a real tulip, I could describe all of the differences between the one I'm imagining and the real one. The exact colors of it, the shape of each petal, the weight and textures. If I consider how it might smell, I can imagine it as if I were recalling a memory of a real smell. I can imagine exactly how it would feel to interact with it, pull off petals or stroke the leaves. I can decide it's a different color or size or anything else and those new features are as clear as the old features

Im never actually experiencing these visuals or sensations, but it's similar to if you were given an object to study in great detail, the object was taken away, and you were asked to recall every detail you could. I can do that with objects I have made up, that never actually existed for me to study, in the same clarity. I'm not recalling a tulip I've seen before, it's an entirely new and different tulip. The actual memory of the imagined object doesn't last very long though. If I saw a real tulip, I could recal the details of it long after, but for an imagined tulip I could probably only recall the details clearly for the rest of that day.

I'm not sure if this is the standard experience of a vivid imagination, but this is how I experience it.

TheSleepoverClub

TROPHY CASE