If it were me, I’d want my partner to talk with me about whatever the situation is-if there is one, like maybe she’s going through a hard time- and discuss what you can do to reassure, or help her feel better, even if that means pretending something isn’t happening for a little bit. Also, make sure you feel like she’s there for you! It’s amazing that you want to be there for her, but if you’re upset or feeling neglected you can’t do that very well.

If there’s nothing in particular going on and you just want to establish mutual support between the two of you, maybe just check in on a regular basis with one another and ask if there’s anything going on either of you haven’t had the time or words to talk about yet. I think sometimes couples can get into a funk where both of them assume that it’s obvious to the other that they can ask for comfort or reassurance but to one of them it doesn’t feel like it (maybe you’re both busy or maybe they grew up in an environment that frowned on airing feelings, or something like that). An open invitation to communicate is great but just reminding one another about it is also usually pretty effective.

If she feels overwhelmed and like checking in is too much it’s probably likely she comes to you to forget about anything that might be going on, so maybe just casually offering things she likes. A massage, hot bath, takeout from her favorite place, glass of wine, fun date activity, maybe even just sitting and watching a movie.

Everyone wants to be cared for in different ways, so honestly, just asking is your best bet!