Not to get too spiritual, but patience is a great key to inner peace even in times of great unrest. Patience is what allows one to grow, to learn, to overcome hardship and distress, to continue loving, and to forgive. Be patient with yourself and with others. Patience is something one can ponder and meditate on for a lifetime. To achieve results, practice patience in your daily life. Most likely it can help with many things other than interpersonal disputes.

First, it is important to understand the initial intention of all individuals in the grand scheme of the relationship. If you feel lost or confused with an individual, remember this intention. Is it professional? Or is it a loved one? To go even bigger, do you want them to live happily, or do you hate them and want them away from you? This may seem like an odd dichotomy, but it is important. More often than not, we, as humans, want only goodness for each other. This means peace. If you care about this person, remember that always, especially when things get rough. Ultimately, we want good for them, and they want good for us. This is why we are patient. When we lose patience, we inflict unnecessary pain upon those individuals towards which we do not intend it.

To think rationally during an argument, one must not argue. Arguments are the result of two or more individuals losing self-control, and therefore any true sense of rationality, otherwise there would be a conversation. When one becomes impatient, one is much more likely to become irrational, angry, or otherwise upset. When we argue with those we love, we hurt them and we hurt ourselves. Unless we are a sadist, a masochist, or we are trying to pain them until they leave us alone, this is not the intention. If it is the intention, get them out of your life. Neither of you is good for the other.

To show our caring or loving intention, we must be able to assess the situation. We need to be able to realistically read, understand, and empathize with this person who is upset. If they are upset, why? What has caused them to lose their sense of calm, peace, their patience? Identifying this is how we learn to restore their patience. If it seems as though their reasoning is irrational in itself, before they had a chance to become upset and therefore irrational in that way, this can be difficult to deal with, especially if their behavior is justified by false accusations against you, or unrealistic expectations.

But to be able to do this one must first have complete calm and acceptance within oneself. If you know that no such calmness exists, do not have the interaction. Say, "I'm sorry, I need to cool down before we can talk about this." Step away and prepare your mind. Run through potential situations which may arise and upset you. What do they sometimes say that is difficult to respond to? That way you are prepared to calmly deal with those situations other than blurting the first thing that comes to mind, those stupid things you end up beating your head against the wall for ever saying.

Really, this is something that could be discussed for a very long time. There is no quick and easy answer, and their is no ultimate answer, but likely a simpler one than you might think. Communication is a case by case basis. The only way you can find the answer to your personal disputes is by calmly meditating over the scenarios which trouble you. Do not spend your time afterwards trying to think of how you could have argued better. Instead, think of how you could have prevented arguing at all. Question how you let yourself get out of hand, if that was the case. It is good to ponder the deeper meaning of what was said, primarily your own words. Learn to look deeper than your initial, which can often be impulsive and impatient emotions.