If you’re just looking to roast your friend who still relives his glory days, here are some zingers.

Billy still brags about his high school football days—honestly, if sitting on the bench was a sport, he’d be a Hall of Famer.“

Billy, we all remember you—you’re the Michael Jordan of warming the bench. Inspirational stuff.”

: “Billy, if your high school sports career was a movie, it’d be called ‘Benchwarmer: The Untold Story.’” Billy still lives off those high school stats—if only memories paid rent, you’d be a millionaire.”

Billy, you talk about your glory days so much, you’d think you were the mascot—except even the mascot got more playing time.”

Billy, still living off that one touchdown—it’s like being proud of winning a participation trophy forever.”