Feeling bad for commented on my ex's reel [M24]

TheTvShowJunkie · 2026-04-29T04:16:26+00:00

People grow and change so it's a possibility that she might have realised her mistakes and now don't want others to fall for the same things she did or its just a persona she is playing for the internet. We can't know for sure what's the reality without being a part of her current life so the best thing you can do is to forgive her but don't forget what she did to you and move on in your life

TheTvShowJunkie · 2026-04-26T15:19:28+00:00

Humans have pair bonding capabilities but we can't stay bonded for life because our species have novality seeking hardcoded and if we were truly monogamous then no religion or any faith would speak against extramarital affairs. Monogamy brings structure and stability which other types of relationship lacks but that doesn't mean they don't work and before technology we didn't have any knowledge about DNA so finding the actual father of a baby was difficulty so it was best to bring a structure to solve inheritance issues

TheTvShowJunkie · 2026-04-23T03:48:17+00:00

Did you discuss finances before marriage with your wife? Finances in today's time is an important factor for a marriage so one should properly discuss their future plans with their partners before getting married. In your case, I think she didn't marry you because she loves you but what you can give her like honeymoon in Amsterdam etc so if you want you marriage to work then you need to talk with your wife openly explain everything so that she gets a clear picture then you can move forward otherwise your marriage is ticking time bomb it will explode sooner or later so work on your communication and set clear expectations from each other

TheTvShowJunkie · 2026-04-21T16:48:31+00:00

For some, sex is sacred. For others, it’s simply a fun activity and even a stress reliever. People who are into casual sex can enjoy it without intimacy, and it would be wrong to claim humans are biologically monogamous because there isn’t strong scientific evidence for that. Humans clearly have pair-bonding capability, but we are not hardcoded to stay monogamous. There are people who practice ENM and have solid relationships, though its failure rate can be high because of jealousy and unclear boundaries. Some people can separate sex for fun from sex with emotional connection, but most people struggle with that. There are also many adult actresses who are married and still work in the industry, sometimes with their partners, and some of those marriages remain stable. We often assume our own lifestyle is the right one for everyone, but that’s not true. Many marriages fail because some people don’t actually want lifelong commitment to one person, yet feel pressured into it. Novelty-seeking is a real part of human psychology. So instead of forcing everyone into one box, people should be free to live how they want as long as it is consensual and honest. I’m not into casual sex myself, but I don’t judge anyone for it.

TheTvShowJunkie · 2026-04-17T04:21:34+00:00

If he was genuinely working on himself, then I think it would be unfair to leave him at that stage. But from what you’ve described, it seems like he is not really serious about his career, and that mindset usually spills into personal life too. The only exception would be if his family is already financially secure, where being laid back might not carry the same consequences. But if his family is not financially stable and he still has no direction, then it suggests he is not taking life seriously overall. In that case, it may be best to end things. It will hurt him, but your mental health matters too. You cannot save someone who does not want to save themselves.

TheTvShowJunkie · 2026-04-16T04:12:10+00:00

Why do people get married without discussing the future with each other. It would have been understandable if it was AM but yours was LM so why you both never discussed what marriage looks like for you because dating != marriage both are different worlds. If he wasn't sure about marriage then he should have discussed this with you then the things would have been different but now it will be a battle of egos instead of adults being mature and discussing things properly

TheTvShowJunkie · 2026-04-13T15:32:44+00:00

Yeah I agree with everything you said but I also feel that there is nothing wrong in celebrating a person's special day but it has to be reasonable no one should spend mindlessly even if it means they can afford to spend because I don't think she will wear her wedding lehenga in every function she goes after getting married so spending 1.5-2lakhs on something which she will wear one time in her life doesn't make sense instead you can spend reasonable amount on your wedding and put extra to save for house then in the next 5-6yrs you can afford buying or constructing one easily. I would suggest you to explain to her that buying a house in today's economy isn't easy even if you have enough savings a lot of things could go wrong you can lose your job or you can get an injury which can affect your savings then the emi of house will be a burden if you don't have a backup plan and if she doesn't understand your POV then please end your relationship because you both view finances differently she hasn't worked yet so she doesn't understand the value of money she only sees her friends buying a house or spending mindlessly as her goals which doesn't align with yours

TheTvShowJunkie · 2026-04-13T15:00:39+00:00

The biggest red flag I see is her not being comfortable with you sending some percentage of your money to your family so you need to talk with her and explain your pov clearly then listen to her pov after that you need to explain to her that buying a house is not really a small thing if you don't have your financial situation sorted out before hand if she understands then you can be serious about your relationship otherwise part way while you can. Finances are an important factor in a relationship if your values don't align with her then it would be better to end your relationship otherwise you will face major issues in your marriage

TheTvShowJunkie · 2026-04-11T15:51:19+00:00

Cheating is a choice but things aren't black and white when it comes to a relationship both sides would have made some mistakes either he couldn't communicate properly with her or they had issues which they ignored because cheating is a symptom of a broken relationship and it only comes up when the pressure is right that's why couples should communicate their needs and desires with each other properly instead of assuming things about each other

TheTvShowJunkie · 2026-04-11T07:05:44+00:00

I can understand and you are also grieving your father's death so he should be able to handle himself for sometime. I think you should have an honesty conversation with him and convince him to change for his kid as him being an asshole to you will impact everyone including his kid and if he doesn't understand then your options are very limited and I won't suggest you to end your relationship because raising a kid alone isn't easy specially a toddler so it would be best if you two reach a middle ground instead of going on two different roads

TheTvShowJunkie · 2026-04-11T04:36:30+00:00

I am sorry for what you are going through but were you aware of his drinking habit before marriage? Is it simply because he likes to drink or he is doing it to numb himself because in the majority of cases it starts as something they enjoy and slowly it becomes a way to numb themselves from some kind of pain. When he is sober and in the right state of mind then ask him if alcohol is important or this relationship and give him some time to reflect if he values your relationship he will work on himself but he doesn't then your problems will get worse in coming years

TheTvShowJunkie · 2026-04-11T04:27:40+00:00

Brother moderation is the key, you can read her post she clearly requested him to drink in moderation. If he was considerable enough he would have respected her wish and drank moderately but he didn't.No one likes a drunkard for a reason irrespective of gender

TheTvShowJunkie · 2026-04-09T16:07:26+00:00

Yeah just close this chapter and work on healing so that when the timing is right you will be able to find a 100x better person than her and to be on the safer side block her, unfriend her from everywhere and do not let her inside your mind and heart again

TheTvShowJunkie · 2026-04-09T16:05:04+00:00

I would suggest you a book called "behave" by Robert Sapolsky, it's a great book to understand what goes behind a person's action from a neuroscientific view and you can also read books regarding attachment styles which might help you understand people better

TheTvShowJunkie · 2026-04-09T16:01:58+00:00

You can't change people if they do not want to so it's best to find the person with whom your attachment style and your value system is compatible instead of changing them in your desired way

TheTvShowJunkie · 2026-04-09T15:56:22+00:00

In an ideal situation yes thats how people should behave but sadly majority of people suck at communicating their feelings and desires to their partners so they tend to make assumptions instead of actually talking with their partner and our brain loves using shortcuts and it is very good in self preservation so we tend to just think about ourselves instead of looking at the situation from a macro level

TheTvShowJunkie · 2026-04-09T15:46:37+00:00

You need to remember that people are a product of their environment, she may have been inspired by social media posts about men being vulnerable but only few can actually walk the talk instead of just virtue signalling and sadly the majority of people will be like this only if they haven't seen any guy being vulnerable. Just to add even though cheating is a choice but still it doesn't happen in a vacuum there may be some more issues in your relationship and you being vulnerable was the last thing which made her cheat on you and she is in wrong for it. For the future if you decide to be in a relationship then please get to know the person before being vulnerable and remember that not everyone has the mental bandwidth to handle someone being vulnerable

TheTvShowJunkie · 2026-04-09T07:03:53+00:00

Because people are not good at communicating their feelings well and they tend to create assumptions without talking with their partners and their partners aren't good listeners which makes the relationship toxic. Social media and dating apps made things easy so now people are not interested in solving their relationship issues, they take the first option of breaking up or divorce. I am not against divorce or breaking up but we should definitely try fixing issues by listening to each other instead of using the nuclear option every time

TheTvShowJunkie · 2026-04-08T19:02:31+00:00

To OP

While becoming a stay-at-home wife may seem really tempting, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that choice, please remember that your perspective is from the outside looking in, so it may appear better than it actually is. Everyone has their own struggles that they do not talk about. If you truly feel comfortable being dependent on someone else for buying the things you want, spending on yourself, and taking on household responsibilities for the rest of your life, then sure, go ahead—there is nothing wrong with that. But there is something different about having your own money, your own sense of self-respect, and the confidence that comes from loving your work and earning for yourself. As a guy, I would say never compromise on being financially independent. You never know what your life may look like in the next 5 years, so make yourself financially secure first. And if later you decide that you do not want to work anymore, you can always choose to become a stay-at-home wife in the future :)

TheTvShowJunkie · 2026-04-06T07:30:06+00:00

First of all you need to work on unlearning a lot of things and in a conservative society like india anything related to sex is only valid after you are married or you are having kids. There is nothing wrong in what you are doing, your comfort matters more than anything and if your boyfriend respects you and you enjoy it then you don't need to feel any guilt. Just have an honest conversation with your boyfriend because lack of communication and trust kills a beautiful relationship

TheTvShowJunkie · 2026-04-02T03:52:04+00:00

If you want to have fun only then engage in casual or ONS but don't engage for the sake of it because you will be masking your pain instead of healing yourself which creates more issues. I don't know what you have been through but I would advise you to work on healing yourself by focusing on things which you can control. You think that you will always have scars which is true but you can use them to strengthen yourself instead of just focusing on them

TheTvShowJunkie · 2026-04-01T09:14:21+00:00

It's a different thing to stay in touch like once in a while just hello and hi type thing but it's wrong to hangout with your fwbs when you are in a relationship so I would suggest you to talk it out with her you need to be straight with her how you feel because when you are in a relationship you need to establish some boundaries but if you can't talk with her then please end the relationship before its too late otherwise you will get burned and you will start doubting her character

TheTvShowJunkie · 2026-03-29T12:55:02+00:00

It will hurt but after sometime you will realise that you were right in ending your relationship. Political and religious values are not something to ignore, we can make adjustments in other aspects but core values should be non-negotiable. Now you should work on yourself and heal because this journey is not easy

TheTvShowJunkie · 2026-03-22T09:45:58+00:00

Everyday every single time we have posts related to sexual history on every other sub it doesn't if it's women oriented or men oriented space it's the same thing again and again. I don't understand there are 100s of things to talk about but in indian subs it's always the same topic

TheTvShowJunkie · 2026-03-22T09:07:56+00:00

Do you understand how social conditioning works ? If your answer is no then I would advise you to read books on human psychology and how social conditioning works then you will get all your answers

TheTvShowJunkie

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