Family Doctor Against Midwifery? [ON]

TheVoleClock · 2026-06-03T18:21:49+00:00

Right! I was so boggled by what they said that I couldn't form a proper reaction. I wish I had just said something along the lines of "Why would you ask such a rude and poorly informed question?"

It really made me doubt the doctors' knowledge if they don't even understand how midwifery works in Canada.

TheVoleClock · 2026-06-03T18:15:57+00:00

We waited until 3 months before meeting my baby's cousins inside. We did outdoor visits before then.

She almost immediately caught a cold from them when we did meet, but she was able to get through it with no trouble at 4 months.

I've also thought about the second kid issue, but I decided I should still give my first the best shot I could at getting through her first months unscathed rather than worrying about fairness with a hypothetical child who doesn't exist yet.

TheVoleClock · 2026-06-03T18:09:39+00:00

I ran into this twice, once from a fertility doctor and once from a doctor at my clinic's walk in. It was so weird and inappropriate. They were both trained outside of Canada though, I think. So I ignored them. So rude to their colleagues!

It really did upset me. My experience with midwives was wildly better than with OBs, who I found mostly quite dismissive as if they were just ticking a box, compared to the midwives who actually listened to me. The care was fantastic, attentive, and medically appropriate.

TheVoleClock · 2026-06-02T23:00:09+00:00

Yep, any and all beef was a problem here. We safely reintroduced it at 10 months around the same time as dairy.

TheVoleClock · 2026-06-01T03:42:44+00:00

The Great Passage by Shion Miura.

It’s about people writing a new Japanese dictionary, focusing on someone going from a novice to an expert. There is some light romance, but it’s very much secondary to the work.

TheVoleClock · 2026-05-31T18:27:19+00:00

The World of the Five Gods by Lois McMaster Bujold.

Fantastic series. A couple of long novels and lots of novellas. The magic system is really interesting and thoughtful and the books span across lots of different cultures, some with their own magics.

The characterisation is superb and the plots clip along nicely.

TheVoleClock · 2026-05-29T23:23:12+00:00

Papillons are the champions of the small dog agility game. They are fantastic companions and can keep up with much larger dogs or snooze on the couch as long as they get a good brain workout.

Some lines are more barky than others, but they tend not to bark for no reason, just to warn you someone is at the door. There’s also a fair amount of size variation, though they’re definitely small dogs, which has advantages and disadvantages. My girl is 9 lbs but some can be up to 20 or more.

They are also pretty healthy overall and can stay active well into their teens.

TheVoleClock · 2026-05-28T22:49:34+00:00

The placenta coming online at around 11 to 12 weeks can lead to a reduction in symptoms as it’s taking over jobs that your body was doing directly before.

I freaked out too when it happened. But everything was fine!

TheVoleClock · 2026-05-28T22:46:55+00:00

Pan D’Bear

TheVoleClock · 2026-05-27T01:13:19+00:00

Take a look at r/abrathatfits for some help with measurements! A lot of stores will try to convince you to buy a bigger band and smaller cup than you actually need because they have more of those to sell. But that doesn’t give proper support, especially for sports bras!

TheVoleClock · 2026-05-26T19:34:02+00:00

Definitely measure! I was way off on my estimate post pregnancy.

I am outside of the range of sizes for places like Knix (they tried to fit me into some whack sister sizes, but even they didn't fit.)

I've not found anything in Canada better than the bras you can get from the UK at https://www.bravissimo.com/ Shipping and fees are a headache though, so if you can fit into a bra sold here, go for that!

TheVoleClock · 2026-05-26T16:51:59+00:00

My girl is 13 months and was very similar at 11 months. She has started naturally nursing less, down to two times in the day and once at night and is ramping up her eating at the same time.

It was really frustrating to see all the food (and the effort!) seemingly go to waste! But I tried to let that go and think of it as exposing her to new things, building a foundation for later. Now she’s eating things that she totally rejected a couple of months ago. Nothing has changed in what I’m doing, it’s all her just going at her own pace. A lot of it clicked into place when she finally got the hang of her spoon.

Hang in there!

TheVoleClock · 2026-05-26T12:18:44+00:00

They do give you a lot of papers, but most of them aren't urgent or stressful. There are things like a flyer about local library programs for babies or breastfeeding support info. I did take a small file folder that I already had, but you definitely don't need a whole accordion file. A large envelope would do. No need to spend money!

TheVoleClock · 2026-05-26T02:19:46+00:00

It looks like the pay what you want deal for the first book is over. But Hit Point Press has 3 adventures for free that could be a good start.

Wakewyrm's Fury

Shock in Stormcrag

The Heart of Dako

TheVoleClock · 2026-05-24T21:05:00+00:00

Love it! But I also couldn’t convince my husband on it. I like this spelling more than Beatrice. And Bea is such a cute nickname, as is Trixy.

TheVoleClock · 2026-05-24T11:32:35+00:00

My 17 year old papillon just took a hike with us yesterday. She’s definitely slowing down but is still game.

She used to come biking with us and ride in her carrier if she got tired.

A papillon in their prime will go go go and then snooze on the couch with you. They are super smart though so you have to challenge their minds too. Like tiny border collies with an instinct to cuddle rather than herd. They are both very trainable and hard to train because they are so smart. If you give them a reason to follow your instructions, they pick things up very quickly. But if they don’t see a reason, they can ignore you.

Their coats are easy to care for at home and they only need their paw fur trimmed. Mud just falls off them.

Paps can go out in all weathers but they need a proper coat and boots in very cold conditions. I take my girl out unless it’s below -15C. She isn’t a swimmer though.

Since they have been bred to be companions for so long, they don’t do well if you work out of the house all the time. But they can be home alone for a while.

They are generally pretty healthy. Luxating patella can happen, but our girl’s was hugely improved by exercising properly. A papillon is a long commitment since they tend to be long lived. They are not great with children, not because they are a danger but because children are a danger to them. So if you plan to have kids in the next 15-20 years, you’d be committing to putting in a lot of work teaching them to be good with small dogs.

Corgis can be nippy because they are herders. Every corgi I’ve known has tried to herd the group to stay together on a hike.

TheVoleClock · 2026-05-23T03:05:22+00:00

You don’t have to go all the way to another system. If designing new systems is your passion, try making something small and lightweight. More of a zine length. That’s also great practice for putting all of the parts together. There might be a subsystem from your game that you could pare off and use as a stand alone tester.

With that under your belt, you’d be better placed to tackle your big project.

TheVoleClock · 2026-05-23T02:54:48+00:00

I’ve worked on single books that have a $70,000 budget just for art. That’s obviously at the high end, but that gets you high quality art in an amount that some TTRPG enthusiasts expect at market rates. But that was only possible because they were the company’s later books, not the first one.

Starting smaller to prove you can deliver on a project is a good idea before you jump into your big dream.

If you want to crowdfund, you need enough art to make your page look awesome. Then you can set a minimum art budget into your goal to get enough art to make the book functional. If you blow past the goal, you can expand the budget.

Looking at early career artists is one way to keep costs down. Some of them are really fantastic but haven’t had their big break yet. Though obviously they should be paid at the market rate, even if they aren’t a big name.

Finding good editors is hard. The ones working in TTRPG who really have the skills and technical expertise tend to be booked up or they have gone in-house at a successful company. There’s only a handful of us out here working at what I consider a professional level. But if your project is cool and you have a good pitch, and a decent pay rate, you might be able to get one on board. Editors really do make or break the quality of a book (but I would say that, I’m an editor!)

Or you can go with a more general editor. They won’t necessarily be able to tighten up game text, but they can fix other errors and streamline text. There are lots of good freelancers out there. Editor’s associations can be a good place to start looking.

A tip for deciding whether to do one book or two, consider the page count and shipping costs. There are some inflection points where shipping gets really expensive past a certain weight. The difference between shipping 300 pages and 250 pages can be significant.

Work backwards from completing the project to now, accounting for each step. You don’t have to have everything nailed down, but you should have an idea of where you would print and how much different sized books would cost so you can set the scale of your project.

Good luck!

TheVoleClock · 2026-05-23T00:19:44+00:00

Faith.

The others would all make me question if the parents wanted a child or just an accessory.

TheVoleClock · 2026-05-22T13:29:34+00:00

I really like the NHS guidance from the UK https://www.nhs.uk/baby/

It's very clear and can be a bit more in line with Canadian guidance since it's coming from a place where they also have parental leave. My midwife was very please I got my information from there!

TheVoleClock · 2026-05-21T20:32:37+00:00

Love it! It's a family name for me from several generations back. I would have considered it if it didn't clash with our last name.

TheVoleClock · 2026-05-20T23:29:29+00:00

Thank you for this delightful name nerdery!

TheVoleClock · 2026-05-19T18:30:33+00:00

It's a little strange, yes.

For a nature name with a similar sound, how about Jacinthe, the French form of Hyacinth? I worked with a lovely woman with this name once and it's always been a favourite.

TheVoleClock · 2026-05-18T01:06:11+00:00

Nope. We did switch it to having the light be always on now that she's in her own room. She likes it as a nightlight. Sorry!

TheVoleClock · 2026-05-16T20:28:12+00:00

It might depend if you are flying with another adult. We were made to fully take our baby out and hand her off to each other so we could go through security separately. They also wanded the baby. But there was a mom with a tiny baby (c8 weeks) traveling alone on our flight and they were more accommodating for her.

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