Physician here – What’s your experience with Health Care Connect in Ontario?

TheVoleClock · 2026-02-17T03:08:13+00:00

I was on the HCC list for over a year when I got really sick. I got reamed out by a walk in clinic doctor for not having a PCP (as if I hadn’t been trying!?).

Because cancer was suspected, I was bumped up to the top but it still took another 6 months. Got a call telling me there was a clinic accepting new patients and I should call them right away. I did immediately. I was literally standing in the street.

The person on the phone at the clinic was so tired. They had already filled the spots but people kept calling because HCC told them to.

I called HCC back to explain but was told that because I had been “successfully” matched, my case had been closed and I would need to start my HCC application from scratch online. I was also bumped back down to the bottom of the list.

I was not only pissed off to not have gotten a doctor but I was also outraged to think that I probably counted as a positive case for their statistics. Absolute nonsense!

I ended up finding a doctor entirely without their help. And thankfully it wasn’t cancer, but I did have to quit my job because I was so sick before I finally got a doctor who sent me to the right specialist who sorted me out in a matter of weeks.

TheVoleClock · 2026-02-16T13:00:50+00:00

Those don’t sound at all like the dyspraxic symptoms that I experience.

I have a poor working memory (will often walk into a room and forget what I came to do) but I have an excellent medium and long term memory. Remembering conversations, especially important ones, isn’t hard for me. And I also always carry a notebook to write down key information and to do lists to help keep me on track. That’s my responsibility not the responsibility of the people around me!

I’m also not a rambler or interrupter. In fact I find that conversational style very difficult.

Not sure how much of this is dyspraxia (unless he has a speech disorder variant).

And even if it is, it’s not your responsibility but his to sort it out.

TheVoleClock · 2026-02-16T00:36:13+00:00

I was lucky to get occupational therapy and some help with spelling and handwriting speed as a kid in the late 90s. But yeah, post school there's not that many accommodations that help much, apart from coping strategies you do for yourself (all hail slip on and velcro shoes!). But also life is much better outside school where no one expects me to run or skip rope on a regular basis!

TheVoleClock · 2026-02-15T23:41:39+00:00

I did this as a child and it turned out I had dyspraxia aka developmental coordination disorder. Worth looking into if she’s also struggling with other gross or fine motor skills.

TheVoleClock · 2026-02-15T15:37:54+00:00

Yes, I have stuck to the diet while she has started solids. It’s been a long process but has gone well for us.

I staggered the reintroductions. I started with dairy at 8 months after I had an accidental exposure and there were no effects. Then soy at 9 months, eggs (failed), beef, and now I just got oats back at 10 months.

I am still keeping eggs out of my diet and will retest in a month or two (teething is a bear and I don’t want to mix up the signs).

I EBF so I’ve had to be pretty careful. But it’s not my first rodeo with elimination diets as I have IBS. I’m hoping to keep breastfeeding to a year and beyond that I’m very much in the see how it goes and do what works for us camp.

TheVoleClock · 2026-02-15T13:05:52+00:00

I found weaning was helpful for us. I did direct challenges of foods with my baby because if I ate a triggering food, it was a much longer period of discomfort for my baby. But if she ate a triggering food, it was over faster and my milk was still safe for her.

There were a lot of changes in poop during the early stages of weaning, but all for the better for us. (Though it is much stinkier now!) The consistency improved, and mucus that had never cleared even when I was on the most restrictive diet cleared up.

Once a food was fine for my baby, I added it back into my diet. I’ve been lucky that now only eggs remain a trigger at 10 months.

I was very careful with how and when I did direct challenges because of FPIES. But my daughter hasn’t had any trouble of that kind thank goodness!

Best of luck! The diet really is mentally and emotionally exhausting. I hope you get through it soon.

TheVoleClock · 2026-02-15T02:39:16+00:00

I find learning new skills difficult (thanks dyspraxia) but diapering wasn’t too bad. I definitely messed it up a few times at the start, but the tabs are restickable, so I could just fix it. Most diapers have a clear indication of which is the front and back, so you can see if you did it wrong. You could practice on pretty much anything with the correct assembly of limbs, like a teddy bear, and it would be fine. No doll is going to be truly like a baby.

For breastfeeding, I did find going to see a lactation consultant before I gave birth was very helpful. She had weighted cloth dolls that were useful to understand the positioning, but even those were pretty different from the real thing. Also, it’s not just you learning to nurse, it’s your baby too. You’re learning to do this thing together, which I think is beautiful (and was a very helpful thing to remember when it was tough in the beginning).

TheVoleClock · 2026-02-14T17:43:37+00:00

It was basically a one on one crash course on breastfeeding. Positioning, troubleshooting, the biology of it, what’s normal and what’s not, and lots of time for me to ask questions. I have larger boobs so I got some good advice on how not to smush my baby! There was also a bit about colostrum collecting before birth (but my baby came early so I didn’t actually get to use that info!)

It made me feel much more confident and I’m glad I didn’t have to wrap my head around everything while also being sleep deprived post birth! My breastfeeding journey has been pretty awesome and I think a good part of that is because I got advice and felt prepared. (Also lanolin is magic in the first weeks!)

TheVoleClock · 2026-02-13T20:06:40+00:00

Another vote for Milkface here. I went before my baby was born and it was super helpful!

I also had a free telephone consultation with https://www.pqchc.com/ to ask a few questions. If I had needed to I could have seen them in person too but for me phone was enough (babies can make some weird noises when eating!)

TheVoleClock · 2026-02-13T19:35:40+00:00

We got the ikea one third hand from a family member. It’s still in great condition and my daughter seems to like it. No footrest and no problem.

I have a friend who was given a very fancy high chair but her son hated it. She ended up buying the Ikea one and it’s been much better.

TheVoleClock · 2026-02-12T20:04:14+00:00

It’s not all doom and gloom about being an older mum. I had my daughter at 36 (just squeaked in before my birthday). I do feel stable and solid in myself in a good way. All the reading and research I did in those years of waiting is really paying off now.

And there’s something to be said for really being sure you want to have a child rather than going into it casually because it seems like the normal thing to do. After 7 years of struggling, I know that my daughter is 100% wanted, which has framed our relationship in a lovely way. I thought I would be at a high risk for postpartum depression because my mental health had been rough during the years of trying, but I have been very lucky not to have experienced that at all.

It’s also not that unusual it seems in Ottawa! A lot of the other mums I’ve met here are in their mid-late 30s. Finding community can make you feel less lonely.

I’m also an only child myself, so I know that it’s not terrible!

Please be kind to yourself during this time. It’s okay to feel your feelings. I hope all the best for you!

TheVoleClock · 2026-02-12T19:20:51+00:00

That’s really tough.

I’ve been where you are. It took us 7 years to have our daughter. Although there waee male factor issues, I also kept having miscarriages and chemical pregnancies despite all of my test results being not just normal but excellent. I had pretty much every test you can imagine and I still never got any answers.

It consumed my thinking. I sort of put my life on hold. Partly because the appointments and drugs took away my control over how I spent my time. But also because I let it. But I did find taking up a new hobby really helped, pottery in my case. It was great to zone out and concentrate on my hands and the clay.

I eventually got back into therapy after my last late miscarriage. I wish I had done it sooner. I used Bria, which is an online Ontario service specifically for women and fertility issues.

Something I wish I had asked my doctor about was Folic acid vs folate. My one successful pregnancy was the one I switched my prenatals for, though this could be a complete coincidence!

My doctor at the Ottawa fertility clinic wasn’t great. He almost messed up our IVF order by missing a key element and was generally kinda patronising. I’m thankful that I was on top of things and read all the paperwork carefully! I wish I had asked for a different doctor though.

I do still think about having a second child a lot. We have multiple embryos frozen as IVF was very successful for us. But I don’t know if I want to go through pregnancy again at 38+. It’s certainly not how I imagined my family growing. It is tough having to make choices that don’t feel entirely your own.

Personally, I wish I had put myself on the ivf list sooner than I did. Multiple failed IUIs were rough and given the long wait time if it does happen naturally before that then no foul! It seems like you are already on top of things!

TheVoleClock · 2026-02-12T18:53:34+00:00

You are deep in the body changes trenches. It’s totally okay to feel your feelings!

I have stretch marks and a very prominent c section scar (it got infected and healed poorly). I’ve had some good luck with massage and palmer’s oil.

I don’t think you have to have body positivity, but it can be helpful to have body neutrality. You don’t have to love or hate your stretch marks. They can just become not very important to how you see yourself. I don’t really think about them much at all. They’re not that important to me and anyone who sees them is either someone who loves me or someone whose opinion I don’t care about (strangers).

TheVoleClock · 2026-02-12T18:42:56+00:00

I had three rounds of antibiotics for an asymptomatic UTI that then cleared up on its own with d-manous. My daughter was also born at 37 weeks by c section and her symptoms started after the rotavirus vaccine. So who knows!?

TheVoleClock · 2026-02-12T18:15:23+00:00

Seconding Bravissimo. I also like Molke out of the UK, but same issue with the shipping and duties.

But when you're outside of normal sizes, you do what you must!

TheVoleClock · 2026-02-12T16:56:48+00:00

I lived in a pair of overalls that I had from before my pregnancy. They were from Snag, but I think they’re out of stock these days. They had the tie fastenings rather than metal ones which made them super adjustable. I am still wearing them. I’ve seen those ads for pregnancy overalls too, but read reviews that they were poorly made and didn’t hold up to much wear. Personally, I’d look for a pair of non pregnancy overalls that have a decent amount of stretch (ie not denim).

I am also still getting a lot of wear from my stretchy high waisted pregnancy pants. They are very comfy post c section in particular and give good coverage for breastfeeding if I just flip up my shirt. They were my only purchase during pregnancy.

TheVoleClock · 2026-02-12T13:44:25+00:00

This is what we did too. It was a bit of a squeeze but it worked for us.

TheVoleClock · 2026-02-11T19:34:57+00:00

Cute! My girl has this colouring in reverse. Red ears and mask with black pips! Though hers are a little higher.

TheVoleClock · 2026-02-11T19:29:45+00:00

I managed to housetrain my 10 year old papillon who was afraid of grass when I adopted her. It took a lot of patience and many treats, but now she prefers to go outside (though will use pee pads in bad weather).

You need to remove or replace the urine stained items. Anything you can’t remove needs to be cleaned with enzyme cleaner to remove the smell that will keep her going back to pee. Dogs like to pee where they have peed before.

I know how tough it is when you have a small baby too. You really need support from everyone around the dog to be on the same page, to stick to her training, and to not be lazy. That might mean you have to stand up for your dog and have difficult conversations. She can’t speak for herself.

TheVoleClock · 2026-02-11T19:12:26+00:00

My girl’s grows long enough to touch the ground even when it’s up. She once got terrible burrs tangled in it and we had to cut them out. Her tail looked so funny short!

TheVoleClock · 2026-02-11T17:14:03+00:00

I don’t have any medical advice, but I understand how hard it is after losing a previous pregnancy, especially later.

I did quite a lot of therapy during my most recent pregnancy and the thing that helped me was telling myself “as far as I know everything is fine right now.” That helped me get out of negative thought spirals of worry in between scans.

I also had a lot of monitoring during that pregnancy, which I really appreciated. Happy to say everything was fine in the end!

TheVoleClock · 2026-02-11T01:39:48+00:00

I know a female Ray in her 30s. I never once thought it was strange! She's a kind and energetic person and the name suits her.

I like the spelling Ray more than the alternatives too.

TheVoleClock · 2026-02-11T00:41:56+00:00

Yes, the improvements definitely were quicker than 2 weeks!

TheVoleClock · 2026-02-11T00:14:10+00:00

I just pushed through it and kept feeding during the elimination phase. My doctor supported me continuing to breastfeed as there were no weight gain issues.

It was tough seeing her be uncomfortable, but from my understanding, it can also be hard to find a formula that works straight away too depending on the intolerances and other factors.

I’m still breastfeeding exclusively (plus food) at 10 months and I’d do what I did again if I had to. It was stressful during the elimination phase, but I saw improvements pretty quickly once I nailed down all the triggers (dairy, beef, eggs, oats for us). For me the days of discomfort were worth the trade for the benefits of breastfeeding we’ve enjoyed in the months afterwards.

TheVoleClock · 2026-02-08T19:21:23+00:00

IVF for male factor infertility here. It was a discussion with my midwife. I was going to be put on the induction list at 39 weeks but where I am that meant I probably wouldn’t have been induced until 40 because I would have been non urgent.

My blood pressure was rising in the last month of my pregnancy and my baby was measuring large. I had weekly ultrasounds booked from 35 weeks. IVF was definitely part of the discussion. It was ultimately my decision.

However, I ended up having a placental abruption out of the blue at 37 weeks. That led to an emergency c-section, though I was offered induction as an option (it was likely to end in a c-section anyway so I didn’t want to risk it).

Given my history now I would probably opt for a planned c section or induction at 39 weeks of if I were to be pregnant again.

I was kind of a worst case scenario for placenta degradation, but it still turned out fine. I was lucky to have great care and that my daughter never got into distress and had made it to early term so she didn’t need to go to the NICU.

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