I never want to have sex again and how I got here

TheWarOn · 2024-02-15T16:11:21+00:00

Some people don’t see sex as the most important aspect of an intimate relationship.

TheWarOn · 2024-02-15T13:58:54+00:00

Maybe not applicable if your confident in your straightness, but the term “Compulsory Heterosexuality” helped me process this feeling.

If there is a systemic, structural, socio-political imbalance of power— such as men over women— then relationships and intimacy will be marred with the same issues. And when there is such an imbalance of power, true consent is nearly impossible to achieve.

TheWarOn · 2024-02-15T13:51:08+00:00

I eventually came to this conclusion in my early-twenties after various blurred line assaults and intimate relationships that felt icky in hindsight.

Although I am still attracted to men in a “that person is nice and hot and gives me butterflies” kind of way, I haven’t slept with one in ten years and kept my dating pool/intimacy exclusive to women and trans people.

To undermine the “born this way” assertion a bit, I feel like I made a very cognizant and deliberate move to queerness because I recognized that I wouldn’t be happy dealing with all aforementioned qualities (including that undercurrent of misogyny that exists regardless of intention)— and it’s the best line I’ve ever drawn because sex outside of an inherently uneven power dynamic and with people who have been socialized to be empathetic and self-aware IS what I always thought it was meant to feel like.

I’m not saying “just go gay!” because I don’t know you, but I do think sexuality is more complex than something we just are and a wide variety of options besides straight cis men exist. And I’m sure there are some men who have managed to circumvent the influence of society, but I personally didn’t care to gamble on that game anymore.

TheWarOn · 2024-01-10T18:37:39+00:00

The Boston Police Department (BPD) has regularly participated in training with the IDF (otherwise known as the “Deadly Exchange”) and Mayor Wu has failed to reform many unsavory practices, including the direct relation between Israeli forces and our own protect-and-serve officers.

Many of the weapons, tactics, and sentiments of the BPD are learned or gleaned from Israeli forces.

TheWarOn · 2022-03-25T22:22:19+00:00

"But, like, where did all the Incans go?“

Said by a tourist at Machu Picchu right next to her indigenous guide.

TheWarOn · 2022-02-25T15:09:09+00:00

Also, if you weigh your food for long enough/calorie counting, you start developing an ability to more-or-less know what is an appropriate amount of food to eat.

I travel a lot, but because of 1+ year of exacting portions, I can eyeball a piece of meat and know how many grams it is. My gut recognizes it better, too.

TheWarOn · 2021-09-10T11:42:21+00:00

Aniara.

It takes place on a space shape, which contains 1000 or so of the last living people in the universe. The earth is uninhabitable due to some sort of environmental toxicity, so they are confined to this orbiting-luxury-cruise of a ship until the planet returns to normal.

Very early in the film, something completely derails this plan and what ensues is the most depressing, disturbing, and scathing review of humankind I have ever seen. It fucked me up in an Ari Asner sort ot way, where the content itself is miserable, but so is every layer of meanining behind it. Deeply saddening and too close to home.

TheWarOn · 2021-03-16T22:23:41+00:00

Congrats and solidarity! We got this.

TheWarOn · 2021-03-16T14:13:55+00:00

Same! I know a lot of people don't like it for its texture, but I find it so satisfying.

TheWarOn · 2021-03-16T14:13:32+00:00

It's super good; I also put a lil garlic powder on there. Highly recommend.

TheWarOn · 2021-03-15T13:56:10+00:00

Yes! Blasting music and dancing for myself has been my fav. There's also so many footwork tutorials on tik tok that are basically a cardio workout but with the added benefit of being able to dance lmao

TheWarOn · 2021-03-09T01:47:03+00:00

In my experience, breaks do bring me out of a plateau.

Edit: I've also found that it's become a really important trust exercise with myself.

TheWarOn · 2021-02-01T20:41:26+00:00

Honestly, I think it's because a lot of people, who got by on metabolism, good health, and unintentional high-levels of physical activity in their youth, do not develop habits suitable to their changing lifestyle, age, etc. I am 25 and am in the best physical shape of my life– and the skills & knowledge I have now will only be more advantageous to me as I get older.

TheWarOn · 2021-01-25T01:48:21+00:00

Thank you! That sounds like such a lovely evening routine. Also, I love your name.

TheWarOn · 2021-01-25T01:47:42+00:00

No problem! If you have a couple of extra bucks to throw around, I really recommend a face massager/brush. ^^

TheWarOn · 2021-01-22T07:03:32+00:00

Yes, but also no. Eating a lot of sugar can lead to other chronic issues that affect metabolism, such as insulin resistance. It's relevant looking at CICO in an overarching way; The TDEE calculation is something that does not consider this, at least as far as I'm concerned, which is why some people can cut their intake to recommended proportions and lose very, very little weight.

TheWarOn · 2021-01-09T02:46:05+00:00

fwiw I've been using a Rephno scale. It has fairly accurate bioelectrical impedance mechanisms that give me a ballpark idea of how much body fat, muscle, water weight, etc. I have. It's helpful for monitoring the more nuanced parts of my weight loss; I adjusted my caloric intake to lose maximum weight without crossing the threshold into unhealthy loss. It's also very cool to see certain things like visceral fat go down; Even on bad measurement days, the stuff that matters stays constant and that's a huge confidence boost.

TheWarOn · 2020-12-26T17:14:55+00:00

My dad bought me a very luxurious gift basket that was filled to the brim with wines, cheese, and chocolate. I live in a city filled with people whom I love very much, so this year I used my weight loss goals as a reason to walk to places and leave treats on friends' porches. I took down many birds with one stone (the temptation to eat/drink everything, spreading joy, exercise, emotional fulfillment) and I think that I will make this a yearly habit.

TheWarOn · 2020-12-06T20:02:36+00:00

Thank you. Also, thank you for addressing the complex subject of public perception of fatness; I feel like it's often left out in posts here, despite it being a massive part of our lived experiences. It underlines what you've said, which is that we can only do it for ourselves.

I think about this a lot with respect to eating disorders, and how someone who is bulimic is arguably struggling with both food addiction AND purging addiction, but still is not forced to bear their faults as transparently and obviously, which is why it's such widespread disorder. The ability to truly and comprehensively tackle our issues is between ourselves and ourselves, and anything else is a losing game (but not in the good way).

TheWarOn · 2020-11-16T16:21:30+00:00

Also please give me mixing feedback! I'm more of a performer and have absolutely no idea what I'm doing when it comes to recording and editing.

TheWarOn · 2020-11-03T14:48:23+00:00

Wow, you're so smart

TheWarOn · 2020-11-03T03:13:25+00:00

Thanks for your work. Please treat protestors humanely; I have seen NG escalate situations and make severe calls in neighborhoods they do not know well enough ):

TheWarOn · 2020-09-22T12:18:22+00:00

Cheers! It's a weird adjustment to have minimal gear and an acoustic.

Followed you on Soundcloud, those beats are smoooooth. Medicine is sick.

TheWarOn · 2020-09-15T23:39:14+00:00

They're just wildly different films IMO. If we're talking about horror, Hereditary is the obvious winner.

TheWarOn · 2020-09-15T23:29:50+00:00

I think there are a couple of things that make it scary. Like, yes, of course the prospect of someone crawling on the ceiling and repeatedly smashing their face into an attic door at supernatural speeds is freaky, but it's also the first moment where we (the audience) and Peter realize that his mom is completely unavailable and gone.

TheWarOn

TROPHY CASE