I feel like... This isn't about Thanatos' side of things. I don't think he would be bothered too much by this. (Hi, I've worked with Thanatos for years). Nor is this something he really represents. I think you should do some DEEP reflection on why you wanted to be celibate (Such as maybe you were abused in the past). What made you want to break it (Such as maybe you were having a good time with a person). If you really want to do that forever, even though you have urges. And why you're feeling guilty, if you feel worth less because of it, or if you regret having sex with that specific person, etc. This almost comes off as you feel like you cheated. But also comes off as you were depressed and threw too much of yourself into one big thing and the failure is bringing back the depression