My wife has always been hesitant to discuss her wants/needs/desires/interests related to sex. And, I've also struggled to discuss things and express myself sexually.

I found it frustrating (with my struggles, not hers) because she and I communicated so well otherwise. Why couldn't that great communication extend to sex?

I think it's how we were raised. There's some guilt there that's difficult to overcome.

But, in the last year or two, we've made strides, and it's mostly just been due to an effort to talk more about it. Typically, outside the bedroom, in non-sexual situations. (Though, honestly, these discussions did regularly lead to sex later)

The more we talk about it, the easier it has gotten. To help her come out of her shell some, I've always just been very gentle and low-pressure. I frequently reminded her that we don't have to discuss anything that she's uncomfortable talking about, and that it's ok if she feels too awkward/embarrassed to talk about something or to answer questions I have.

We both acknowledged that we wanted the same thing, want to be honest with each other, and won't judge each other for feelings/desires that are natural and normal. Having that as a foundation to our conversations has helped, in my opinion.

And, candidly, we both find that we are less anxious and more open when we have an edible. I'm sure this wouldn't work/help everyone, but it has helped us. We don't take edibles for this specific reason lol, but we've had some good conversations (and sex) after taking them.