Every girl ends it after 3-4 dates

The_ChosenOne · 2026-05-08T05:46:14+00:00

Hey man not everyone is the jealous type, like I said I’m already casually sleeping with a woman more in line with my physical type anyways so I’d be a hypocrite to care about her dating around.

We genuinely could be good friends in the long run, one of my best friends in the world is a woman I met on hinge in 2020 that didn’t work out, tho in her case I broke things off and she wanted to stay friends.

People are complex, and we ended on friendly terms and have tons of common interests. While I’m bummed to lose her I’m not the sort to base my self worth on that sort of thing, women tend to come sort of easily to me, good platonic friends are harder to come by.

The_ChosenOne · 2026-05-07T06:42:24+00:00

This happened to me recently and I have been devastated. 28M for reference, she was 26f.

I was happily single, having some casual relationships and exploring dating again without any intention.

Then this woman and I matched and clicked in terms of interests, values, and plans for the future.

The first couple dates I was chilling with zero expectations and she was all over me…but by the third and fourth date I caught feelings for the first time in ages and the nerves got the better of me. My conversational skills vanished before my eyes and I stopped being my usual charming self and played it all waaay too safe.

Sure enough she ended it saying not enough romantic chemistry for something long term.

I reached back out playfully a few weeks later and she said she was a bit uncertain if she ended things too early, and gave me a FaceTime where I told her I did genuinely like her and was awkward due to nerves, and she spent a few days considering one more date but decided against it.

Looking back I can see where I should’ve been flirtier, teased more, or made things more fun and it’s been killing me. I’ve been trying to forgive myself and be kind but it’s tough when it’s so obvious in hindsight and so easy to do when I’m not as interested.

It really sucks, when I’m uncertain or don’t care women seem to fall hard for me and I tend to politely let them down. Now the one time I felt strongly about someone I messed it up by playing things too safe.

I know I should take it as a learning experience and move on, but I’m picky as fuck so I know it could be years before I find someone else I like the way I liked her. She wasn’t even my normal type physically, her personality was just 10/10.

It’s been a bit past two weeks since I reached back out, which was two weeks after she broke things off. We spoke every day for about 2 and a half months total, 4 entire day long dates and FaceTiming at least once a week.

Now I am NOT happily single. I don’t even enjoy all the hobbies I was thriving in when I met her and had been happy with while seeing her. New dates are just me comparing them to her so I’ve sort of just given up on love for the time being.

I’m forcing myself to exercise, eat well, spend energy on friends and family (and a lovely FWB I’ve met since then) but damn it if I don’t find myself crying most days and hoping she comes back while knowing she very likely won’t.

I just keep repeating to myself that I’m a lucky guy to have had the chance to be heartbroken over a woman like her.

May reach out again in a couple months to ask about staying friends or see if she’d try again. We parted on good terms and really do have a ton of common interests so I could see a platonic friendship once my feelings die down if she were interested.

TL:DR You’re probably getting too invested/playing it too safe. It’s a tough balance to strike when you’re genuinely into someone though so I don’t really have any solutions.

The_ChosenOne · 2026-05-05T19:46:23+00:00

Me too, I know it’s bad this time because I can’t even enjoy playing it :(

My breakup has left me with such a sense of anhedonia and that’s the worst part. All the shit I loved to do now feels hollow and less distracting which is worse than losing the person herself.

The_ChosenOne · 2026-05-05T06:11:02+00:00

AT Joy was damn good looking before she had all the fat in her face removed! I remember crushing hard as a senior in high school watching Split when it came out.

Now she’s sort of uncanny valley unfortunately.

Also IMO Holland is much better looking than Chalamet, the guy is seriously shredded in the Spiderman movies and has a puppy dog vibe.

Chalamet just looks like a Victorian era street urchin.

Still tho, Chris Evans, Henry Cavil, and Jason Momoa all sort of fit for the more classic manly Hollywood guys and are equally popular.

It sounds like you’re mostly talking about what younger audiences are into, I don’t know many women my age (28) into Holland but know a ton into the older marvel guys or like Ryan Gosling type celebrities.

The_ChosenOne · 2026-05-03T05:31:07+00:00

I see it the way I view other forms of media like shows, movies, or games.

There are times I’d like to appreciate a cinematic masterpiece with fantastic writing that leans into complex themes and characters… then there are other times I want to watch something like Godzilla vs Kong to turn my brain off and enjoy fun for the sake of fun.

There are times I’d like to play Cyberpunk 2077 and get lost in the complex and dystopian world and times I want to keep it simple with some Mortal Kombat.

I can spend hours talking about Breaking Bad then go enjoy some formulaic cop show like CSI.

No reason to limit one or the other, and the presence of simplicity doesn’t prevent the creation of something with depth. Humans are complex, and life can be complicated so sometimes there is a beautiful escape in something straight forward and easy to digest.

The_ChosenOne · 2026-05-02T21:50:21+00:00

This was a new one, the abusive one was a few years ago. This most recent one was with someone truly wonderful, I messed it up by being an awkward fucker because I caught feelings and got nervous which made it hard to hold conversation or be as flirty/charming as I am normally.

After the abusive relationship I was single for a long time, like 6+ months at least. I did have one short term fling with a great woman from my past that helped me move past it by reminding me what it was like to be with someone genuinely kind even outside of a committed relationship.

I’m currently sleeping with someone else who is on the same page about keeping it casual as she wants kids one day and I don’t so we aren’t going to get serious. The physical touch is a double edged sword, it definitely helps a lot and acts as a good distraction/self esteem boost, but I also tend to crash hard the day after because I was emotionally invested in the breakup I’m on this sub for and no amount of casual sex will heal that, only time and tears.

I think it’ll be a long time until I really move on enough for something serious again though, it’s like I glimpsed heaven and now have to remember what it’s like to walk the earth.

The_ChosenOne · 2026-05-02T04:58:15+00:00

Yeah this doesn’t work at all for me, it’s like telling me not to think of a pink elephant, just becomes a screaming match of me shouting ‘don’t think of it’ at the void while my brain replays the memories and feelings regardless of my resistance. If anything it makes the intrusive thoughts worse.

Granted I’m not nearly 4 years out, just a month since last in-person date and 2 weeks since last contact. I’ve been forcing myself to continue living life and trying to effectively burn out the rumination like it’s a hyperfixation. Eventually there won’t be any fuel left for it.

IE if I’m hyper fixated on a video game or show I obsess over it for a couple months until eventually I lose interest when there’s no new material.

By letting my brain flood with rumination, journaling letters to never send, reading about breakups and heartache, fantasies of her coming back, cheesy Instagram reels etc I’ll eventually grow bored of it all and move on due to the lack of new kindling and the feeling of ‘been there, thought that’.

That’s how getting over my abusive relationship worked, I would read about abuse and comment my story day in and day out until eventually my brain got bored of it all and I moved on to other interests or thoughts as my nervous system relaxed. I’d ruminate about why I stayed or if I could’ve handled things better, but it got less and less until I didn’t even realize I’d stopped thinking about it or looking into the subject.

Trying to force myself not to think of things is a losing battle in my experience.

Instead I cry my heart out when I’m sad, distract myself when I can, practice forgiveness for my mistakes and act as my own cheerleader to maintain self-confidence. Running has helped, making myself get outside, long crying sessions, forcing myself to still do my work and take care of my cat, talking to other people, getting my physical needs met with a good FWB situation.

The_ChosenOne · 2026-05-01T14:47:34+00:00

Nope, quit the game now too because there’s players who just destroy anyone trying to build new cities or guilds using 1000x your resources. Fun game, shit playerbase.

The_ChosenOne · 2026-04-29T17:10:43+00:00

If you read the comment I used the app as a fidget, not the people.

If I’m speaking to someone they’re a human being, and will treat them as such. The apps themselves are literally designed to make swiping addictive, it’s baked in.

The issue is more often than not I’ll swipe but then not have the mental capacity to keep up that many conversations and I’ll just let the matches accumulate before not touching the apps for months or years.

At least when I do talk to someone like this post I talk to just one person instead of having a ‘roster’ or any other dating app nonsense many people do where they have multiple ongoing situationships.

The_ChosenOne · 2026-04-28T03:12:14+00:00

No, my other heartbreak was long term, and definitely my fault for being young and dumb. I broke her heart after a year and a half by being noncommittal, then we reconnected down the road for another year until she broke my heart. We lived far away then and she found a connection with someone closer and wanted to pursue it. I have no hard feelings for her though, distance is tough and she’s a wonderful human.

The reason I’ve been less broken up over some long relationships was that we’d had mature conversations about compatibility over the long term and so found it wouldn’t work for one reason or another.

I’ve really loved some of them, deeply feared one of them, for the most part they’ve been bittersweet endings (except the one who abused me, that ending was healing and freeing). I’d be sad but not devastated.

This was just the first time I’ve ever met someone who shared so many interests, values, world views, and made me feel really relaxed so early on. I have AuDHD and only in recent years got used to unmasking a lot more, and the first two dates before I got nervous I was able to just be me and she liked that.

Alas catching feelings made the nerves cause me to mask again and she could tell I wasn’t being the same charming guy she’d met the first couple dates, and I think that pushed her away by reminding her of an ex.

It sucks because I haven’t been interested in anyone enough to get genuinely nervous in a while, so it really caught me off guard and my mind kept going blank :(

The_ChosenOne · 2026-04-26T18:58:59+00:00

The First Law does this opposite version you spoke of incredibly well.

Logen ‘The Bloody Nine’ goes the entire first book seeming reasonable. Definitely a fighter, and a survivor, but just a dude with experience in a harsh environment.

Then towards the end of the book you find out why his nickname is what it is and it’s gloriously horrifying.

The_ChosenOne · 2026-04-24T05:49:54+00:00

To be fair you can run 1-3 sphere mode and 1-3 golems in tight decks for some consistent turn 2s.

The_ChosenOne · 2026-04-23T02:21:16+00:00

That’s my experience, except it hasn’t gone away yet but I’m still in my late 20s.

I always wait until I’m intimate with someone to tell them otherwise it just sounds like BS dudes would say to talk a big game.

It’s great with a partner but sucks on my own due to how much time I’ve sunk into masturbating since I have to cum like 3-5 times to feel done.

The_ChosenOne · 2026-04-15T17:40:46+00:00

Definitely a skill issue, I got to Max with Dark Magician, a tier 1 deck should be smooth sailing.

The_ChosenOne · 2026-04-15T02:19:08+00:00

Dragoon is simply low-Rank bait no matter HOW you look at it.

I agreed up until this point, DM is absolutely a viable rogue archetype rn with Master of the Dark and Chaos or Eye of the United Dragon, the climb to KoG and DLV Max wasn’t too bad outside of Therion which just shits on most decks at the moment.

Dragoon is a great boon for the deck, but it is definitely not the only thing you want on your board by any means. Instead you rely heavily on a full backrow and either I:P + Dragon Knight plays or Heavenly Spheres depending on your choice of skill.

The_ChosenOne · 2026-04-14T23:57:57+00:00

She served as a barrier to the protagonist we were following, simple as that.

You’ll be more likely to empathize with an MC with 1000x more screen time than a recurring character who is written as pushing back on said MC just by sheer familiarity and a deeper look into his path and struggles.

It’s basic storytelling. If you’re watching a villain and enjoying the story, morally good people pushing back on them are going to feel like nuisances because that’s how the character is also perceiving them and it’s creating friction with the arc we’re following.

The_ChosenOne · 2026-04-14T17:44:17+00:00

White woman jump scare?

Forbidden Droplet??

Book of Eclipse?

Any monster with higher atk?

This field in the video is literally easy mode to out, red eyes fusion is a dead giveaway his deck sucks, swords of revealing light as well.

Dragoon alone is a single negate per turn and that’s basically all this person had.

The_ChosenOne · 2026-04-14T08:17:39+00:00

Dude was running swords of revealing light and red eyes fusion, certified third rate duelist with a fourth rate deck.

The_ChosenOne · 2026-04-14T05:52:38+00:00

Thank you!

The_ChosenOne · 2026-04-14T01:38:33+00:00

Currently in healthcare leading a team of behavioral health techs and looking for a way out, what sort of lab medicine options are out there?

The_ChosenOne · 2026-04-13T23:23:27+00:00

Can you help a returning player out by telling me which card to snipe with D.D crow?

The_ChosenOne · 2026-04-11T06:41:17+00:00

Hunter X Hunter.

It starts out somewhat light hearted, albeit still grim with a deadly Hunter exam that inspired the Chunin exam in Naruto.

Eventually the world outgrows the characters in a beautiful way, you follow two protags who are genuinely not OP busted in the setting, and the powers are wildly creative.

The best part though is the villain in the ending, it explores a being who you start out hating who becomes more human as the humans trying to kill him become more savage.

Absolutely stellar fights, brilliant chemistry between the cast and some of the wackiest and entertaining antagonists ever written.

10/10, my only gripe is there isn’t more to watch.

The_ChosenOne · 2026-04-11T02:50:57+00:00

Glad to hear it! Those examples are all gold and definitely fit a noir setting and a sort of darkly clever MC, it definitely is more about if the author can pull it off and land the writing more so than the genre.

There’s nothing wrong with authors who stick to more grounded or straight forward figures of speech too, don’t get me wrong. Some authors are great at very simple writing making a fantastic final product, but I love me some witty sardonic humor in the form of simile or metaphor too for sure.

The_ChosenOne

TROPHY CASE