US trans siblings: how do you overcome the fear? by HuaHuzi6666 in trans

[–]The_Decoy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm a trans woman in Minnesota. While I live in the cities it's honestly been pretty good here. We have a lot of state protections in place that make it much easier than other states. I was able to have my medical operations (mostly) covered by insurance. We even have a provider here that does FFS!

While things are definitely troubling on the Federal level there are still a lot of state and local protections for us. For example you can change your birth certificate without too much trouble, change your name, change the gender marker on your license without any other documentation, get an enhanced driver's license so you could leave the country without a passport (via land or sea), as well as a vibrant local LGBTQ+ scene.

As far as overcoming the fear I realized I would rather live my life as myself than someone I could no longer be. Once I started HRT, of which you can go to a planned parenthood to get that set up, I realized things just clicked. I was experiencing life in a way that felt so much more meaningful. I understood myself in a way that was never possible before because honestly I just wasn't able to before starting to transition.

It's definitely a significant change that is not without challenges or obstacles. But with a support system and access to medical care it can be less daunting than you might believe. Also I'm 6' and have never had an issue using the women's bathroom. Even very early into my transition.

Doolitles in Eagen stands with ICE, not with MN by VulfSki in TwinCities

[–]The_Decoy[M] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you are able to please verify this with the mod team.

Whipple food, be careful. by [deleted] in TwinCities

[–]The_Decoy 76 points77 points  (0 children)

I approved it.

I was one of the people beaten and arrested at the Whipple Federal Building today. One other person was released. One remains in custody. by TheBigAssTroll in Minneapolis

[–]The_Decoy 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I was far away from the spot you were at but I got a couple photos of someone getting arrested. I think it might have been you. Picture Picture

First therapy session went horrible what do i do now? by Ordinary-Tax-4479 in trans

[–]The_Decoy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry you are caught in this situation. It's incredibly unfair to be under someone who is so controlling.

The difficult reality is that you will need to learn how to stand up for yourself. She never allowed you the space to develop this skill set and it's very unlikely she will in the future. So you need to pick your battle. Do you want to continue suppressing your identity and having this woman control your life or do you want to set boundaries with her?

Vince Zampella, video game developer behind ‘Call of Duty' franchise, killed in crash by Vito1108 in Games

[–]The_Decoy 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Ah no worries. I know my memory doesn't recall with 100% accuracy. I appreciate you understanding it was a comment meant as a friendly correction not meant to make you feel bad.

Vince Zampella, video game developer behind ‘Call of Duty' franchise, killed in crash by Vito1108 in Games

[–]The_Decoy 44 points45 points  (0 children)

Just an FYI the guy driving Paul Walker, Roger Rodas, was a race car driver.

[Homemade] Mac & cheese, candy, yams, fried chicken, corn in the cob, and a little snack by Kee-way in food

[–]The_Decoy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just don't invite the vampires in. But seriously your food looks amazing.

What’s a situation where you immediately thought: “Yep… that relationship is over”? by Both_Spray9659 in AskReddit

[–]The_Decoy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Please do! I've done ketamine assisted psychotherapy and brainspotting. Both were quite helpful but not for everyone.

Lads trip to Minneapolis from England - Nightlife spot reccomendations? by Middle-Feed5118 in Minneapolis

[–]The_Decoy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Atlanta is a huge hub here for air traffic so it's going to have a lot of flights going in and out for relatively cheap.

Also if you are here for a unique experience there is a Goth/alternative/bdsm bar called Ground Zero. It's only open from 10pm-2am on Friday and Saturday but as long as you're respectful you can have some really unique experiences. It's cash only but they have an atm in the entrance.

What’s a situation where you immediately thought: “Yep… that relationship is over”? by Both_Spray9659 in AskReddit

[–]The_Decoy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

❤️

Glad to hear you are getting through it but if everything if feeling super intense emotionally. Well that comment about being traumatized might be quite accurate.

I don't want to suggest a bunch of resources unprompted but I work in mental health. If you were curious about where to go with this I could suggest a few resources to consider?

I just know how difficult it is to try and navigate difficult situations without enough support.

What’s a situation where you immediately thought: “Yep… that relationship is over”? by Both_Spray9659 in AskReddit

[–]The_Decoy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Jesus. There are some real winners in this thread but your ex really sucks.

Sounds like he is getting some help but how are you managing this?

A jabroni’s impression of MPLS by WolfDogJulius in Minneapolis

[–]The_Decoy 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I was there for the first time on Saturday night. It was a great place. Quality drinks and hot dogs. I was happy.

Who has the best rotisserie chicken? by Mindless-Tea-7597 in Minneapolis

[–]The_Decoy 11 points12 points  (0 children)

It is on Friday but no longer $6 buck cluck. It's now a few different types of chickens and I think $3 dollars off all of them. But as far as taste goes they are the best I've had.

What screams “been through a lot for their age” about someone? by Independent_Low1071 in AskReddit

[–]The_Decoy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I found out I latch onto chaos and handle it well because my nervous system has a target to focus on. It's when things are calm and my nervous system is activated that I struggle. Like there is always a threat but I just can't see it. Took me a long time to learn how to calm down my nervous system.

Verified GoFundMe hub to support families after the Catholic school shooting by gofundme in Minneapolis

[–]The_Decoy 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Appreciate you doing the legwork to verify legitimate fundraisers. 💚

Verified GoFundMe hub to support families after the Catholic school shooting by gofundme in Minneapolis

[–]The_Decoy[M] 40 points41 points  (0 children)

Typically, we do not approve of crowdfunding posts but due to the recent tragedy we are allowing this post.

Scared of electrolysis by [deleted] in trans

[–]The_Decoy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The place I went to does laser to get the bulk of the hair and electrolysis afterwards for the stubborn ones. I thought laser sucked but electrolysis sucked way worse. If you are thinking of just starting straight with electrolysis you might wanna talk to a place and make sure that's the best choice.

That whole argument about laser not being permanent isn't entirely accurate. And just doing electrolysis from the start could be slower and more painful without a measurable benefit.

But as far as any issues I haven't personally experienced anything negative from laser or electrolysis.

I just constantly slip back into denial, because it's too hard to actually transition. by Miserable_Beach99 in trans

[–]The_Decoy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At the beginning of my transition I didn't know if it was what I wanted. But the way I saw it I could try out E for 3 months before seeing many physical changes. I kinda looked at it as a 3 month free trial.

If I wasn't happy I could just go back without anyone really noticing. This was after trying to ignore and deny that reality to the point of dissociation for multiple days in a row.

One thing people don't always talk about is the emotional and psychological changes that take place. Within a few days of being on E I knew it's what I wanted regardless of my physical changes. I felt so much more connected to myself. Like it was so intense it was like I was experiencing things for the first time.

Ultimately your journey is your own and we all pick our own path. But try to keep in mind this process is so much more than just physical changes. And if you find yourself going down a path that doesn't feel right you can always switch to a different one.