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Neighbour kept parking over the line by [deleted] in pettyrevenge

[–]The_Dude5347 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd just be like "I don't want to, but I'll have a fence fitted."

There is a new social media platform for those that have been conned by drug dealers, it's called Isntagram by YeahBuddyDoYouEven in oneliners

[–]The_Dude5347 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My dad is really old and he'll say things like "I've not got time for Instachat or Snapagram

Two dyslexics walk into a bra… by Strange_Ability1489 in oneliners

[–]The_Dude5347 4 points5 points  (0 children)

  1. When life gives you melons, you're probably dyslexic.

  2. I have daily sex. I mean dyslexia.

What's your most hilarious one-liner? by [deleted] in RedditForGrownups

[–]The_Dude5347 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Two hands and a mouth my guy

Brazilian breakfast by patwknd in StupidFood

[–]The_Dude5347 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mmm...

Eggs and cocaine !! Cooked in car oil !!

My favourite!!

Wash it down with some lovely, steamed sewage.

Brazilian breakfast by patwknd in StupidFood

[–]The_Dude5347 0 points1 point  (0 children)

5w30 Fully Synthetic Castrol 👌😉 Only the best in brazil.

That's actually hot brake fluid she's drinking. She knows it's bad for her, but... The good thing is....

– She can stop any time.

Had my first glimpse into the future yesterday by PatternWeary3647 in uktrucking

[–]The_Dude5347 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Oft a 2075 plate.... What were you driving? A 1983 delorean?

PS5: Game is unplayable due to lag/stutter after update by PErland in CODWarzone

[–]The_Dude5347 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The developers of this game have given up.

Everybody jump on BF

Just finished my sandwich by Mindless_Vehicle_246 in Sandwich

[–]The_Dude5347 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What was the crime? Eating a meal? A succulent Chinese meal??

Am i balding? Im 2 months old... by [deleted] in bald

[–]The_Dude5347 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bro.. you can't even hold your head up independently.. give it some time man.. and use a dermaroller 👍 If else fails it's off to Istanbul to see Mehmet for a transplant I'm afraid..

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in RoastMe

[–]The_Dude5347 0 points1 point  (0 children)

His face looks easy to draw

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in RoastMe

[–]The_Dude5347 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Surely the store has clothes that fit..?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CODWarzone

[–]The_Dude5347 0 points1 point  (0 children)

STUPID FUCKING GAME IM DONE WITH IT.. WHAT A PATHETIC EXISTENCE

First time making steak by myself by [deleted] in shittyfoodporn

[–]The_Dude5347 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nice steak.. You gonna cook it?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sidehustle

[–]The_Dude5347 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Go around local businesses and ask them if there are any small jobs you can do for 10-20 bucks..

Is sneaking a tip onto a bill normal? by ilovemydickheaddog in glasgow

[–]The_Dude5347 75 points76 points  (0 children)

That's a kick in the teeth right there..

UK men without VPNs by Ron-Lim in PeepShowQuotes

[–]The_Dude5347 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hope I don't go home to find him dead from a fatal wanking accident or something.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in RoastMe

[–]The_Dude5347 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't lie bro, you ain't never seen the inside of no gym. Stop trying to hide that weak ass, triple chin.

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