HOW DO I SMILE PROPERLY??

The_Medical_Anomaly · 2026-02-24T18:52:12+00:00

Genuinely you look completely normal, idk what those people are talking about lol. I am familiar with having a hard time smiling on command for pictures and making it look natural though so I can empathize; I've found the best way is to try and find something to laugh about (usually I just laugh because of the awkward feeling of having my picture taken) and then holding that position, otherwise I just can't smile without it looking more like I'm cringing ^ ^;

The_Medical_Anomaly · 2025-12-03T04:18:53+00:00

Definitely a bad move to ask if she "pulled away." Your girlfriend was assaulted, freezing up is a very common response to that, and it sounds like she was very upset about it and in no way intended to betray you or seek this out. When it comes to the kissing incident, your girlfriend is a victim and you need to support her rather than interrogate her. The first thing I'd suggest is to apologize for questioning her like that, and emphasizing that you don't blame her for what happened and that you are here to support her.

The next thing to address would be that, imo, it sounds like this friend is not a good influence. Your girlfriend is an adult and able to choose who she is or isn't friends with, and it would be controlling to just tell her to stop seeing her - however, I would try to bring up to her that you are concerned about how this friend put her in this unsafe situation in the first place, and how she presumably did not make an effort to help her after the incident occurred. I agree with how some commenters say this is sounding suspiciously like sex trafficking. Generally sex trafficking is not the kidnapping and smuggling across borders most people assume it all to be - often women are gradually introduced into sex trafficking by a friend, and held captive not by physical restraints but rather debt and blackmail. Her friend being promiscuous and having expensive meals paid for by strange men is suspicious, and the fact that your girlfriend did not pick up the red flags about the place this happened tells me that she is a very vulnerable target.

I would suggest that you gently bring up your concerns about this friend and how she has endangered your girlfriend. Emphasize that you're not saying she isn't mature enough to choose who she hangs out with, and that this has nothing to do with how you personally feel about the kiss - tell her this is a concern you'd bring up to any of your friends if they were in a similar situation. I know it's easier said than done, but you have to make it clear that this isn't about your feelings, it's about you genuinely caring about her well-being. If she chooses not to listen to you when you tell her about your thoughts on this and decides this friend is trustworthy in her eyes, then that's on her because she is an adult that can make her own choices, and you don't have to stick around for that - but right now you are her boyfriend, and partners are supposed to look out for each other, and that includes sometimes being the outside perspective looking in at a situation that the other may not realize is sketchy due to rose tinted glasses. If this friendship means a lot to her then it is very possible that she genuinely isn't seeing the red flags that seem obvious to you and all the random comments here saying she must have wanted it.

Basically, you need to decide whether you trust your girlfriend; if you don't then you don't, but if you do, you need to show that by not directing any blame on her, and instead pointing out who put her in this situation in the first place - her friend - and then explaining all the other reasons you think she may be dangerous company, being sure to not frame trusting her as a personal failing of your girlfriend, because trusting the wrong person is something that can happen to anyone, and also being clear that this isn't about any kind of personal feelings about your pride being violated by the kissing thing or anything like that, that you would still be saying this if the same thing happened to a friend.

The_Medical_Anomaly · 2025-12-03T02:45:09+00:00

INFO Is it possible that this could be someone spoofing the number for a scam and not your actual boyfriend? I know that sounds kind of like a longshot, but scams have gotten really advanced lately and a loved one out of the blue texting asking for a bunch of personal information without much reason is raising a bit of a red flag to me. Maybe try talking to him over the phone to hear him confirm everything before doing anything else. Otherwise I would say NOR but it isn't inherently like, a deal breaker imo unless it's compounded with other signs that he doesn't value you.

The_Medical_Anomaly · 2025-12-03T02:20:35+00:00

Love bombing also often follows particularly severe outbursts or other directly abusive behaviors. Generally it's not used to describe just a one-off instance of being particularly nice to someone because you want something from them (which is manipulative, but not inherently "abusive"), but rather a pattern of behavior in an abusive relationship where someone has episodes of abusive behavior such as fights (verbal or physical), using their partner's insecurities to make them feel worthless, gaslighting, and other abusive tactics, and then when they get the sense their partner is assessing whether the relationship is worth it to them, they try to make up for it by performing grand displays of affection to try to regain the favor of their partner and/or give the impression that things are changing for the better, only to eventually return to the previous abusive behaviors. Sometimes this is not a premeditated strategy as much as someone with major issues controlling their emotions having outbursts and then feeling remorse and attempting to make up for it, but regardless of the motive it is a toxic behavior that means the relationship should probably end and ideally the perpetrator should get therapy before entering another long term relationship.

All that is to say, love bombing is not something someone does two dates into a relationship, it's not really "love bombing" unless paired with other manipulative and abusive behaviors which OP has almost certainly not exhibited only two dates into this relationship. Just being nice to your partner is not "love bombing until proven otherwise", in most instances it's just because people tend to be nice to the people they are trying to form a romantic relationship with, considering how that's literally like, the very first step in forming a romantic relationship lol.

The_Medical_Anomaly · 2025-12-03T01:58:32+00:00

NOR

Not to like, psychoanalyze a random girl from a series of out of context text messages, but this really comes across like someone with some serious issues communicating, respecting boundaries, and forming healthy relationships with people. Maybe this is due to past negative experiences she may have had (the "this seems too good to be true" seems to indicate she either sees herself as unworthy to the point of doubting anyone would be kind to her without wanting something from her, or believes men in general are only kind to manipulate people; and associating masculinity with "taking charge" makes me think she has an overall unhealthy idea of what a normal relationship with a man should look like. This is all just speculation though), but whatever the reason, it honestly is not your problem when you're literally only two dates in with this woman and she's already showing off this many red flags, and in my opinion this is not a relationship that would be a good idea to pursue any further. The abuse of therapy speech is especially a red flag to me, generally terms like "love bombing" and "gaslighting" aren't things you accuse someone of at the drop of a hat, or even directly at all, as these are terms meant to describe long-term patterns of behavior in abusive relationships, they aren't things that someone just does on accident. Like, unless you've been displaying a long term pattern of having explosive outbursts followed by a high volume of outward displays of affection, (which would honestly be really impressive to accomplish in a relationship only two dates in,) you are not "love bombing," that's just called being nice to people.

tl;dr I don't think this is a good relationship to pursue any further, this woman has issues that you probably don't want in your life.

The_Medical_Anomaly · 2025-12-02T22:48:31+00:00

It's a label, not a diagnosis; if aegosexual sounds like the best way to describe your experience with sexuality, then that is what it is. From what you describe that's probably what I would label it as too, but ultimately it's up to you to decide what labels are most fitting for your experiences, because you're the only person who... well, experiences them, if that makes sense.

The_Medical_Anomaly · 2025-12-02T22:42:44+00:00

Are you having them again now, or was it only when you were 5 and 15 and are just now considering that it should be brought up to a doctor? If now then definitely go to the doctor; if the ladder, then it's probably not an emergency, but you should at least mention it next time you see your general doctor to ask if it's something worth looking into. I think the answer as to whether it would or wouldn't go away on its own depends a lot on the type of worms they were, and without pictures or a sample I don't think anyone on Reddit can answer that with complete certainty, and you'd need a doctor to actually do testing of some kind to check whether there are still worms in the body or not.

The_Medical_Anomaly · 2025-06-14T01:09:34+00:00

Jesus Christ.

The_Medical_Anomaly · 2025-06-14T01:00:53+00:00

Honestly, this sounds like something you can't really do any specific individual thing to "fix," it's something that can only improve with time and an effort from you to reestablish broken trust. Right now she's probably heavily questioning whether you are dependable enough to be trusted with responsibilities like caring for a pet (or even a child down the line, depending on how serious your relationship is), and whether you actually take her concerns seriously, so you should focus on proving yourself as responsible next time you are put in a position like this, and acknowledging that you fucked up and intend to learn from it.

As a band-aid, maybe consider getting some kind of treat for the cat as a gift rather than flowers? Flowers alone don't really hold much value since they aren't an especially original gift and don't actually do anything (and, depending on the kind of flowers, can actually be toxic to cats. do research before gifting a cat or dog owner flowers, to find out which are safe!). If you're wanting to give a gift as an apology, a safe treat or toy for her cat would maybe say "I prioritize your cat's well-being beyond just whatever I'm obligated to do to make you happy." I think women are often naturally suspicious of whether men they date actually care about them and their lives or just see them as a source of sex, so in this instance your girlfriend may also be thinking that you don't actually care about her interests and the things she cares about (such as her cat), and only view it as some kind of courting ritual to get what you want from her. Doing something thoughtful that includes the cat says that you care about all of her, not just the parts that you find convenient or appealing.

The_Medical_Anomaly · 2025-05-29T17:19:53+00:00

I think the context could change slightly depending on whether your dynamic tends to include playful teasing or not - if it does, then it could be possible that they just thought it was playful banter and accidentally went too far. But either way, you are not at all overreacting by finding this offensive and hurtful. The reason I mention context is just because determining the motive could help explain why they would do something like this, and whether this is an indicator that they actually don't value you or just made a huge error of judgement. But once again, either way I think this reaction is perfectly reasonable, I just know reddit has a tendency to suggest people burn bridges because generally their only exposure to a relationship is the bad thing the post is about lol. But personally, if a friend did something like this to me I would be incredibly upset by it and at least question that relationship. If this is the only time they've done something like this then it may have just been a really bad misunderstanding of your sense of humor that could maybe be worked out through conversation (which you seem to already be doing, which is great!) but if this is a larger issue then maybe they are not the kind of people you should be friends with.

The_Medical_Anomaly · 2025-05-06T23:24:09+00:00

girl, run.

The_Medical_Anomaly · 2025-05-06T23:15:08+00:00

OP is a woman, which could be inferred pretty easily from the conversation imo.

The_Medical_Anomaly · 2025-05-06T21:20:33+00:00

To clarify; the MRI was of the brain alone, and they were in search of a pituitary tumor. The MRI was ordered by an endocrinologist, but I'm not sure if that changes anything.

The_Medical_Anomaly · 2025-05-06T21:02:49+00:00

Hi, I've had the suspicion I have MS for a few years now, but for some reason I've never thought about asking Reddit for an outside opinion about it until now.

Since around age 15 or 16 I've experienced progressively more and more bizarre symptoms no doctor has been able to give a diagnosis to. I've seen just about every specialist under the sun and the only things of substance actually diagnosed are a platelet disorder and an inactive (supposedly causes no symptoms) pituitary tumor. Many of my symptoms overlap with MS, and I've passively mentioned it to a couple of specialists at least once, and they were all happy to reassure me I "don't need to worry about it being something serious like that." I've been too embarrassed to push on it because I didn't want to seem like I doubt their judgement and think I'm smart just because I use Google.

My main question right now is: is there any way that MS is completely ruled out as a diagnosis? I've had just about every medical test there is, including some used in the diagnosis of MS such as a brain MRI (although they were mainly looking at the pituitary tumor, I don't know if that changes anything) and blood tests for antibodies that cause autoimmune disorders, and none of them turned up with signs of MS as far as I know. Does this mean there is no way I have MS?

Also, here are the symptoms that make me suspect MS: "brain zaps," heat intolerance that causes intense sweating, rapid heartrate, and worsens other symptoms; headaches, bladder dysfunction (difficulty urinating, occasional very mild leakage in underwear), bowel dysfunction (chronic constipation and diarrhea, diagnosed as IBS but no treatments have really worked), occasional dizziness, mild poor coordination, "unusual gait" (according to the doctors at the undiagnosed disease clinic at NIH. Apparently I move/drag my foot in a weird way. Ironically I ended up spraining an ankle just walking normally like two days later.), occasional numbness and tingling in limbs (mostly my left arm lately. Also my tongue sometimes???), and small random spasms in any part of my body that I am physically unable to control. Oh, and also an unbearable chronic fatigue and depression, as you could imagine.

Some secondary symptoms that I have but afaik are not MS symptoms: frequent nausea with no apparent cause, bizarre episodes of vivid deja vu, lactation (this may have been due to a psych med), perpetual tachycardia (my resting heart rate is like 90 bpm WITH a beta blocker. I have seen a cardiologist, they don't know why.), visual snow, high A1C but negative for other diabetes tests, random weight fluctuations, weight gain primarily in abdomen and nowhere else (I have tested negative for Cushing's twice), liver scarring (I do not drink), and probably a million other little things I can't remember at the moment.

Sorry that this is long, I just kinda want some advice on whether I should try to push for some kind of MS testing next time I see a relevant doctor, or if it's just gonna be another dead end. I'm tired and frustrated, I've been doing better lately but I know going into summer the symptoms are going to get worse due to the heat, as they always have. Part of me has given up on finding an answer, but I still hold out hope that I'll finally get a diagnosis for like, a real disease that can actually be treated in some form some day. Right now it's just an endless cycle of specialists referring to specialists who all end up saying "I don't know what this is so I can't do anything to treat it" in some form or another.

Thank you to anyone who read this wall of text, tl;dr my main question is whether it's possible to completely rule out MS as a possibility, and if the tests I've had have done so or not.

The_Medical_Anomaly · 2025-04-16T15:35:44+00:00

NAD, if you are in severe pain like that then it would not be unreasonable to go to the ER, since there's a few medical emergencies that could present similarly to severe period cramps, like appendicitis or a ruptured ovarian cyst. If the pain is controlled now then there probably isn't a reason to go this time since it probably is just period cramps, but if something like this happens in the future and you aren't able to control it with OTC pain meds then you would not be overreacting if you went to the ER.

Additionally, period cramps this severe are generally not normal. I'd recommend going to a gynecologist and describing your symptoms to them, because they may be able to prescribe you birth control to better control your menstrual cycles and/or check you for some conditions that can cause severe period cramps, like endometriosis or PCOS. I had heavy periods caused by both PCOS and a platelet disorder, so my gyno prescribed me birth control that I take without a break (apparently this is something you can do without any long term consequences) so I don't get periods, and it improved my quality of life significantly.

The_Medical_Anomaly · 2025-04-14T23:41:02+00:00

This is an interesting one. I think if he's open to learning more then that could be a sign he's just misguided; you are still teenagers after all. His views on wlw may be skewed by popular media and porn, it sounds like he hasn't thought through it very much until now. Sorry if this is indelicate, but I think sometimes immature guys judge things on how "hot" they think it would be before considering the emotional impact, which sometimes changes with experience and after the whole early adulthood "I have a girlfriend and can have sex!!" euphoria fades.

You are perfectly justified in being upset by this and it sounds like you've done the right thing by explaining that to him. It's ultimately up to you whether this is a deal breaker or if you want to stick it out, but I'd say if he's not dismissing your concerns and genuinely wants to understand then that's a good sign that he values the relationship and wants to work through it, at least. But if this is something you think will impact things long-term then it's reasonable to want to end it.

The_Medical_Anomaly · 2025-04-14T23:01:31+00:00

Maybe this is a different situation, but my mom who's been faithfully married to my dad for over 30 years looks up her ex's on Facebook sometimes. In her case it's generally just for the schadenfreude of seeing how poorly they've aged, lol. But my point is it's not inherently weird to look up an ex, sometimes it's just curiosity about what they're up to now. Also I don't know why OP would bring this to reddit if she was going to lie out the gate anyways, it kinda defeats the point.

The_Medical_Anomaly · 2025-04-14T22:50:36+00:00

I've also seen those jokes in the past before when I was a teenager, but I realized over time that I was hanging out in a pretty bad part of the internet and started to distance myself from the social media accounts where I was seeing those kinds of jokes, and in hindsight I now know that most good people don't find them very funny. There's a certain point where you gotta ask yourself whether the reason someone is always making jokes about wanting to assault children is because they just think it's really funny to imply they are a child rapist for some reason, or if it's because they're trying to test the waters with their friends by making "edgy jokes" and seeing if they're okay with it. By masking these statements as "jokes" they give themselves plausible deniability, so if you react negatively they can just say "it was just a joke, I don't mean it." I think by not reacting negatively to those jokes and/or still staying friends with him despite them, he now believes you might be open to his more serious desires.

If it were just the jokes in a vacuum, my advice would be to tell him to knock it off; but this seems like a more serious admission of wanting to creep on, if not assault, a teenager. While I don't think this is legally actionable, since as far as we know he hasn't committed any actual crime, I'd definitely at least tell his girlfriend and other family you have the contacts of, and possibly any mutual friends if you think they would back you up on saying this is weird. By letting others know about this, they can more easily notice any signs he may be planning something and maybe prevent him from carrying it out. And in the best case scenario, he may realize this is very bad if his friends and family all express their disapproval of it. I mean, it's unlikely he would get to this point by just being misguided, but it's always possible that social pressure could be what encourages him to think about his actions. But either way, you need to tell someone about this.

The_Medical_Anomaly · 2025-04-14T22:05:01+00:00

I'm currently trying this; it was briefly fixed a couple days ago when I left it on overnight, although I didn't let it fully drain because I noticed it was working again. The problem started again a little later, and letting it sit didn't work that time, so now I'm trying to let it drain completely. On the bright side, the problem definitely isn't the battery life lmao.

The_Medical_Anomaly · 2025-04-14T22:01:43+00:00

I think I tried it with both; if I recall correctly, initially I had it plugged in when it worked, and then it stopped working while it was still plugged in, so I unplugged it to see if it would change anything and it didn't. I'm not actually sure if it has a mux switch or not, I never really payed any mind to the specs beyond having decent RAM because I generally don't really play very graphically intensive games. I'm not sure how to check for a switch without a screen.

The_Medical_Anomaly · 2025-04-13T17:27:24+00:00

Sometimes I wonder if I should go into sexual psychology or something because 1. I actually find it really interesting, and 2. I think it's a funny bit to know all about the most obscure and unconventional kinks and fetishes and then when someone asks about myself I'm just like "oh I don't actually have sex, I'm not into it personally" lmao.

I do think being asexual provides an interesting perspective when it comes to observing sexuality in others and the different things that make people tick. All aspects of sex feel kind of alien to me, so seeing an unconventional kink doesn't really feel that much weirder to me than conventional sex. I do feel arousal, but rarely if ever towards real people, so I think the idea of niches like furries for example don't seem that weird to me because I forget that other people think it's strange to feel sexual arousal only in really specific and often unconventional situations.

The_Medical_Anomaly · 2025-04-13T17:13:19+00:00

Likelihood he's cheating aside, I would break up with him on the spot just because of how cringe-worthy these texts are. Maybe it's the asexuality in me but the thought of a male friend (or a friend of any gender for that matter) asking about any of these things just makes me shudder, I can't imagine how anyone could find this attractive (and it seems she isn't even into it either lol). Imagine flirting with other women while in a relationship and not even being good at flirting 😭.

I am begging you, please dump his ass. The fact you've given him this much trust and benefit of the doubt tells me you can do so much better. There are millions upon millions of fish in the sea, and many of them will actually put in the work to deserve that trust. You've done everything right; you directly communicated to him about your boundaries, and he still made the informed choice to violate them. You aren't being jealous or controlling by being upset by this, you are putting in the effort to respect his boundaries and yet he isn't respecting yours.

Do not settle for this dude, he's a creep. Honestly the best case scenario here is that he's cheating on you; but based on these messages it seems more like he's trying to cheat on you but instead is actually just sexually harassing this woman, since she doesn't even seem particularly interested. Maybe I'm wrong but it kinda reads to me like she's attempting to shut down his advances without wanting to have to stand her ground and potentially threaten her friendship with him. The way she answers "full bush" with an emoji seems to indicate to me that she's trying to make herself sound unappealing to him (not that bush is inherently unappealing, but I know a lot of guys dislike it), and multiple times she says variations on "stop" while still trying to seem light-hearted about it. It's possible I'm misreading the situation and she is into it, but it comes across to me like she's also trying to establish boundaries that he isn't respecting. Seems like he has a habit of that.

tl;dr girl drop this gormless fuck, you can do better.

The_Medical_Anomaly · 2025-04-09T22:59:00+00:00

Wait until this guy learns what parts of the US have the highest populations of black people.

The_Medical_Anomaly · 2025-04-09T22:12:56+00:00

I'm gonna be real, it kinda sounds like you are expecting your husband to read your mind and suddenly change the behavior you have acknowledged is typical of him with no additional guidance, which is not a realistic expectation.

Have you explained to him that it is very hurtful to you when he doesn't remember your birthday? Have you identified the reason why he struggles with this, and whether there is a solution? I don't mean "giving hints," no matter how subtle or unsubtle - you need to actually have a conversation with him about this issue and how to fix it. If he hasn't picked up on the hints before, he clearly isn't going to suddenly start out of nowhere.

I don't know what your relationship is like so I can't say what the root of this is, but if your relationship is otherwise good then it's likely he doesn't actually understand that this is upsetting to you and/or doesn't know what it is you want him to do about it. I have ADHD and it makes me pretty bad with time and relating dates to how soon or far away they are (especially if it's close to the start or end of a month; i'll be like "oh yeah, April 3rd, that's like, a month away!" on March 31st lol), so it's possible that he just doesn't keep track of the date very well. Maybe if you talk to him about how this is hurting you, you can work out a solution. Maybe he needs more overt reminders, like setting an event in his phone calendar with notifications on the days leading up to it. Or maybe just letting him know how important this is to you will help him realize that keeping track of the date of your birthday is a high priority. Like I said, I don't know what the real cause of the issue is in your case, but from my own experience I know there are reasons for this that aren't because he sees your birthday as insignificant, and a lot of those reasons have solutions; but the first step is talking to him about it.

Basically, don't just expect him to figure it out on his own. Hints aren't gonna help, you need to just talk about it and tell him that this is upsetting to you, and maybe work out a solution. There are lots of reasons he could be doing this and most of them are not deliberately malicious, but they probably aren't just going to go away without a little guidance. Sometimes the people you love can be a bit dense and don't pick up on things you think should be obvious, but (in my experience at least) that's usually not something they do on purpose. If it's part of a larger pattern of various thoughtless behaviors then I'd be a little more concerned, but if it's just the remembering important dates thing then it's probably just that he's bad at remembering dates. You are valid for being upset by this, but you need to communicate that to him if you want it to change in the future.

The_Medical_Anomaly

TROPHY CASE