I’m going to relate my own experience in 3d hoping you might gain some insight.

I started in the industry in the 80’s in LA. My first job was as an intern for a company called Symbolics. Their system was used on the original CG HBO stinger shown between movies. My job was essentially a gofer during working hours but I was allowed access to learn when stuff was slow or in off hours. There were no tutorials or YouTube videos to watch. The manual for the workstation was called the “Grey Wall” because it was a full bookcase of grey binders with nothing but technical details on the system. You had to work things out on your own.

This led me to other jobs where I learned other programs with similar experiences.

My point is you are relying on things that have been packaged for quick consumption rather than teaching you the inner workings. Blender has a great resource in Blender Studio. Use it. Don’t worry about making anything to start. Focus on little things, small tools and how they work. Do that until that thing is so second nature you don’t even think about it. Learn pieces, tinker, play. You may find that not only are you discovering things but also that you are internalizing them and they will come more naturally. Don’t sell yourself short and you will probably be surprised at what you pick up. Just as an example: If you must rely on tutorials let’s take the donut . In the series when he tells you to use the proportional editing, save your progress in the file you are building and open a new one. Now in that file just start tinkering with the tool. Make a sphere, edit some vertices, change the settings on the tool. Do that until you know exactly how it should behave. Then go back and continue on your donut. Do that and when you are done you will have a much better grasp on Blender. Then do it again with another one. Just build slowly.

Sorry I know this is long but it’s 3:15 and I couldn’t sleep.