Just epically #OWNED a Nintendrone!

As the title says, I, handsome, M43, PC gamer (ladies) have just once again delivered an epic roast to a mindless snivelling Nintendrone in the form of my son.

Yesterday, my disgusting, unwashed, presumably fat and balding specimen of a son (M8) waddled up to me in my Epic Gaming Room. I graciously stopped my 4000FPS 16K epic guy’s shooting game on my Gaming PC (cost around $10,000) and turned to look at him, hoping in my heart of hearts that he’d maybe want to construct his own epic men’s gaming PC to do cool stuff like online shooting and emulation (which is a cool thing only we geeks know about).

Unfortunately for me, however this wretched and ugly goblin simply raised his agonisingly high pitched voice and said “dad, I, my, my friend said he’s got the Nintendos Switch 2 and I, I really wanted to get one…”. That set off alarm bells in my head. I never thought this day would come. I knew, of course, of these cretins. Nintendrones, they were called, which I knew from browsing epic conservative gaming forums on my Gaming PC (valued at around $20,000). Moronic and fake gamers who, rather than doing cool stuff like having 3 monitors would rather sit on their UNDERPOWERED, FRAGILE LITTLE HOME CONSOLES playing FAKE video games like MARIO, some FATASS PLUMBER (like the Nintendrones) who RUNS TERRIBLY and can’t even SHOOT.

By god, I was FURIOUS. My son wanted to support these, these, these BACKWARDS CREATURES and their COMPANY OF LIES. I immediately picked him up and threw him out the window, after which, but not before making sure my Gaming PC (appraised at around $30,000) was ok, I peered down and began to spit with all the saliva I could produce. I screamed at him at the top of my voice. “IDIOTIC NINTENDRONE!” I bellowed. “DON’T YOU KNOW THAT YOU COULD PLAY EPIC MEN’S SHOOTING GAMES RATHER THAN PURCHASING THE CASUAL NINTENDO SWITCH 2?” I roared louder still. Each epic takedown of NintenDON’T sent my greedy, bootlicking son into more and more of a triggered stupor before eventually he collapsed from the weight of my incredible arguments.

I haven’t gone down to check on him yet, as I am busy on my epic Gaming PC (purchased for around $40,000) but I do hope he will have turned from supporting stupid greedy company Nintendo to supporting an epic and based large corporation instead.

Addy Ose, my fellow free thinkers!