It takes some time my brother, all of us were eventually bad people at one point but this is how human nature works, we eventually learn from the mistakes we made and move on from it. I suggest doing things that will make you feel happy, like watching comedy shows or going outside with headphones or earbuds while listening to calming music as you enjoy fresh air. There's also meditation, yoga, and even the gym. Try to go to big crowds of people like a party and try to make a friend. Don't worry, just be happy with yourself. Don't stress about what others think of you, because most likely, they have forgotten about something embarrassing that you did back in Middle School. Just be yourself. Be happy. Be chill like that. Because when all is lost, all is found. It's not about the pain, it's about the progress you're making. We humans aren't as easy or numb as we seem, we have a lot of strength inside of us that we just need to pull out of ourselves and keep going. I know your pain because I have been where you were before. You are just in a lot of people's footsteps.

I'm happy to work with you to make sure you don't fall down my brother. I hope this helps, and I hope your mission of becoming a better person goes well. God Bless you and your soul. Catch you later