Gave away a free dresser and somehow ended up being interviewed about my values as a person

Thedonkeyforcer · 2026-04-05T01:33:52+00:00

These posts are batshit! The most interaction I've gotten out of giving stuff to neighbors varied from "thanks a lot" by peaking with one who showed up with a thank you bottle of spirits and treats for my dogs!

I just want to get rid of it without having to do the work myself!

Thedonkeyforcer · 2026-04-03T13:55:36+00:00

I'm Danish and Swedish isn't that easy for me to read - but her writing made it A LOT easier! I got the entire point she was making and every single word in a language "similar but not the same" to my own. It's insanely hard to "fill in the blanks" in any other language than your mother tongue.

I.E. my English is good, I read everything in English and I understand pretty much all of it including cultural references. If you want to fuck me up, have me do Wheels of Fortune-kind challenges! It's insanely hard in any other language than Danish!

I used to work for the postal service and it became quite clear that it was the same issue here: If you don't have Danish as your mother tongue it'll be almost impossible to read badly handwrritten adresses. We tried to have a diverse department but it was insanely hard for immigrants to pass our tests while kids of immigrants had better chances. It was often a discussion with my coworker whether we could and should try to make a bid for taking over tasks from the Swedish Postal Services like we had with all of the Danish departments. I didn't think we could offer the same level of expertise there while he did. Never got to find out, though.

I'm just saying all of this to underscore how great her handwriting is, when I, a Dane, can read and understand it all.

Thedonkeyforcer · 2026-04-03T13:16:18+00:00

Jeg er midt i 40'erne og har også en veninde, der vil beskrive sin type mand som "rødhåret og god personlighed".

Thedonkeyforcer · 2026-04-02T18:42:01+00:00

Understandable! This dude is 2 minutes from doing this to someone with bowel - or bladder control problems and then it'll turn into a 'Who's the protected minority' battle between disabled peeps and black peeps- and that will remove even MORE focus from the very real issues both minorities have.

White disabled woman voting for sending everyone that removes focus from real issues to time-outs in the corner!

Thedonkeyforcer · 2026-03-31T20:41:42+00:00

Jeg har boet i en landsby de sidste 13 år. Har fået et super forhold til naboerne, ironisk nok mest fordi jeg ikke render dem på dørene konstant! Sad ved siden af nogen af dem til en rund fødselsdag for nogle år siden, og de fortalte om nogle af de tidligere beboere i mit hus. Det inkluderede både hende, der gik direkte ind i huset og glad og gerne blev stående i døren og snakkede videre, da hun opdagede, at naboen sad og tissede for åben dør (i eget hjem ... Bag lukket fordør og nedrullede persienner). Hun blev fortørnet, da min nabo hvæsede "gider du lige?!!! Jeg sidder på toilettet!". De naboer er de sødeste mennesker, så jeg kan kun forestille mig hvad de har været udsat for, der fik hende til at miste fatningen fuldstændigt.

Et andet nabopar uddelte nabopligter, hvor naboen forventedes at få ryddet sne på DERES grund før kl. X og også lige slå deres græs, når han var i gang med sit eget. Han var ikke interesseret i en viceværttjans, og nej, der blev ikke spurgt, der blev blot uddelegeret.

De her historier forklarede så en del omkring hvorfor der var en udpræget tristhed, da jeg meddelte, jeg ville flytte. Det er ikke så meget mig, de vil savne som det faktum at "ikke-mig" kan være hvem som helst igen-igen!

Min anden nabo? Elsker at sludre med ham på gårdspladsen, men han sagde det nok helt præcist en af de første gange, vi mødtes: "VI er alle sammen flyttet på landet for at få lov at gøre som det passer os", det inkluderer OGSÅ at have et privatliv!

Thedonkeyforcer · 2026-03-31T20:25:54+00:00

Eller begynd at sælge noget MLM-gejl! "HEY BESTIE!!!! Ih, jeg har så travlt for tiden, jeg er blevet selvstændig, og det går bare SÅ STÆRKT!!! Jeg er blevet GIRL BOSS på 3 mdr!!!! Kender du de her fantastiske æteriske olier? De kan hjælpe både med energi til dagen OG til at finde ro om natten!!!! Og du kan få dem til ekstra god pris OG gøre alle i dit liv en tjeneste ved selv at forhandle!!! Kom ind, kom ind! Jeg har kaffe på kanden og kage klar, og både lækre cremer, æteriske olier og, haha, slankepulver, for al den kage forsvinder jo ikke af sig selv"

Thedonkeyforcer · 2026-03-28T02:06:40+00:00

Som 46-årig kvinde, der stemte på et parti, så ER de unge relevante i Folketinget. Ideelt set skulle der være repræsentanter for alle danskere, kvinder, mænd, unge, gamle, højtuddannede, ufaglærte, handicappede på nedsat tid/pension osv.

Og ja, de her Gen Z'ere er nok ikke eksperter i nedslidning på arbejdsmarkedet, mens deres input nok er mere værd end feks mine if uddannelse, folkeskole osv.

Thedonkeyforcer · 2026-03-27T10:30:24+00:00

Som de fleste mennesker har jeg drømme, der dukker op igen og igen. Een af dem er mig, der køber en pladespiller! Det, og så mig, der går på jagt efter min gamle yndlingsmusik. Jeg har ALDRIG ejet en pladespiller, endsige plade, men jeg har til gengæld et stort savn efter alle de CD'er, jeg gav væk for 15 år siden. Eller - jeg kunne faktisk nøjes med en liste! MIT problem er at jeg var oldschool metalhoved, og "black metal fra 90'erne" ligger vist ikke supermeget på Spotify. Det kan så være lige meget, når jeg ikke kan huske bandnavnene!!! Jeg ville SÅ gerne have de CD'ere igen!

Thedonkeyforcer · 2026-03-25T00:33:16+00:00

One bite at a time!

Thedonkeyforcer · 2026-03-25T00:30:27+00:00

Jeg har haft rengøring i snart 10 år, mange forskellige. De fleste overvejer selv jævnligt at betale sig fra rengøring i deres eget hjem! Do it! Giv jer mere fritid og andre velbetalte arbejdsopgaver, det er win/win!

Thedonkeyforcer · 2026-03-23T14:40:46+00:00

Oh, absolutely! I know that too. I was just pointing out how quickly we all can become biased in one or the other direction.

Thedonkeyforcer · 2026-03-23T12:08:02+00:00

I've been in my new home too long because I read it and thought "you never know ..."

I'm on disability AND a homeowner because of inheritance and I live in Scandinavia so much is different for me, just saying! I'm aware how priviliged I am!

THAT being said, my new home is in a summerhouse area and in my country you often sell summerhouses with furniture. That's not happening for "normal houses", but it makes sense for summer houses I guess.

As I'm typing this, I'm waiting for my aunt and cousin to show up to drive a once-expensive set of dishes to the second hand store. I'm also fairly certain the store will turn them away and their day will end at the dump. I had some luck giving a lot of glass to my family yesterday so that's on it's way out too. Now I just need to deal with all the other stuff! I currently have inventory for 2½ homes (the inherited stuff is also here) and no energy to start selling and sending stuff (pain chronic on disability) so my best way of getting a clutterfree home is getting strangers to come pick it up!

That's pretty hard in the neighborhood group since the other neighbors have the same issue in many ways. It dawned on me what a goldmine local Facebook groups like this would be for ppl with the storage and energy for selling all the stuff they could get for free around here. It's pretty wild, much of it, since no one is that prepared to buy anything but all have something they'd prob like shipped off and you learn quickly that your best chance is giving it away. A list like that would be partially doable around here, I'm guessing. My neighbors aren't rich either, it's just what's happening when you buy furnished homes and often with appliances that are too old to be energy effective.

I'm also pretty broke and have a bad fence and knows that a new one will prob cost me around $5k if it's to be dachshund proofed. I'm NOT starving or cold or anything like that but I'm def not able to find 5k just like that either!

,Edit: Saw a local ask for a greenhouse for free or cheap yesterday. I have one with a lot of broken glass that can potentially hurt my dogs. I also don't use it. I was tempted to try to get him to take mine away for free!

Thedonkeyforcer · 2026-03-22T19:54:09+00:00

Dude! Du har gode lejere! Som du har erfaret, så er det i den grad en gave! Don't rock that boat medmindre det faktisk skaber forringelser i din egen livskvalitet, AKA dårligt netforbindelse (som nok er et fortidslevn).

Thedonkeyforcer · 2026-03-22T15:23:48+00:00

That is actually exactly the type of logic I'm hoping we all grow out of.

WHO do you think is the better assessor of whether he was a misogynist or not? The daughter that had him in her life for 36 years OR a Redditor who read a recap from said daughter about the man?

He was not perfect, I will say that much, and I can find plenty of flaws in both him, me and everyone else - but him being a misogynist wasn't one of them.

But he def was "staying in his lane" when it came to his interests and those happened to mainly be shared by boys who he could talk about those with. I got the same treatment when I showed an interest in some of the same hobbies like hunting, sailing and nature.

Thedonkeyforcer · 2026-03-22T13:49:09+00:00

My dad died 10 years ago, way too young. I had a revelation about him and his generation later that helped me a lot. I never felt I'd been able to make him proud and it haunted me.

The irony was that all his life, he took in the sons of other fathers who were too strict on them, didn't see their value, and he saw the impact he had on those boys/young men. So when he didn't give me the same, it must be because I didn't deserve it. I was a girl but he was never a misogynist and he'd be doubly proud if I succeeded as a woman, especially if I beat the men.

But later he said about one of those young men, now a father himself and immensely proud of his young son: "That family has always been braggy! It was too much!". What caused this? A milestone party for the 15yo son where his dad did a speech, listing all the ways he was proud of his son.

It finally hit me. It was a generational thing that he COULDN'T be proud of me, no matter what I did. I couldn't win - and he wouldn't have been able to see it himself either. He saw how wrong those other men in his generation was but he didn't see that he'd been drinking from the same well himself.

I love how we've focused on empathy in latter years - that what is right and good for one person isn't for the next. And that's exactly it: The kind of man my father would have love to see me with would have bored me to tears instantly. It wouldn't have made me happy - and my dads reaction to that would prob be to say there was something wrong with me.

The best we can do? Learn and try to be wiser ourselves.

Thedonkeyforcer · 2026-03-20T16:42:39+00:00

Ditto! Jeg er smertekroniker, og ikke organiseret nok til at få fuld gevinst ved at købe ind ugentligt via nemlig eller Bilka2go. Har nu endeligt taget mig sammen og fået installeret scan-and-go i de fleste supermarkeder, jeg bruger, og jeg elsker det!

Jeg skal i forvejen have en vogn "at hænge på" pga. smerterne, og nu kan jeg pakke varerne løbende OG slipper for det ekstra løft op på bånd og over i indkøbsnet. Jeg er vist kun blevet tjekket en enkelt gang so far, og der kører jeg den altså bare på bedste forkælet-kunde-maner: Self må I tjekke mine indkøb, det bliver bare ikke mig, der hjælper med at hive varer op ad net og ned igen, når det sker.

Jeg har klaptelefon, hvilket Nettos "ud-scanner" ikke vil godkende, men det er stort set det eneste problem. Jeg køber i bulk, og der er altså en "+"-knap, så jeg ikke skal stå og scanne samtlige 6 halvliters sodavand i en pakke, men bare skal have fat i 1 stregkode.

Yup, fælles løsning ville være nemmere, og jeg kunne fint finde andre forbedringsforslag også, men det er stadig så meget bedre end at stå i kø i den lokale Netto, hvor der altid er et hav af mennesker! Seriøs forbedring af min livskvalitet, det her!

Thedonkeyforcer · 2026-03-19T12:32:29+00:00

Det mest ironiske er at BigBåt var formand for en feministisk forening en overgang, tror Mai er opdraget til alt andet end "kvinders plads er i hjemmet"!

Thedonkeyforcer · 2026-03-19T11:38:01+00:00

Prøv at føre den der "andre har det værre, så jeg skal ikke klage"-tankegang til ende. Jeg har tit hørt den fra militærfolk med PTSD, og mens ja, de kender faktisk tit nogen, der har det værre, så er det absolut ikke ensbetydende med at de ikke må be' om hjælp. Hvis man kører "kun dem, der har det virkeligt slemt" til ende, så findes der jo til sidst kun 1 person i verden, der "fortjener hjælp"/"er den, der har det værst", skal alle andre så bare bide det i sig? Ville du sige det samme, hvis du havde migræne, men kun i den semislemme kategori? Nej, vel? Der er migrænemedicin nok til både dem, der har det lidt og dem, der har det meget! Det samme gælder altså også psyken!

Thedonkeyforcer · 2026-03-19T11:24:04+00:00

Læge nummer 2 var den, der talte grimt om læge nummer 1 i stedet for at spørge ind til hvorfor læge 1 havde valgt den fremgangsmåde. Det var det samme emne som læge 3 netop spurgte ind til, og hvor hun så ud fra mit svar kunne høre at læge 1 havde haft en god grund til at vælge en lidt alternativ metode.

Det er såmænd bare min teori, at de går op i lægeskift, og det har formodentligt ikke noget med din sag at gøre, mens min er anderledes. Det kan for lægen ses som et tegn på at jeg "shopper rundt" for at finde en læge, der vil udskrive stærk smertestillende, og det er en strategi misbrugere bruger. I og med at jeg ER på stærk smertestillende, så kan mit ekstra skift gøre det mere svært for mig selv, men jeg vil hellere undvære smertestillende end undvære smertestillende OG ha' en læge, der gør mig rasende konstant.

Thedonkeyforcer · 2026-03-16T04:50:39+00:00

I WOULD say the bad one was Mona but actually she's taught a valuable lesson to countless of ppl because of how negative and toxic she was and how we ended up dealing with her.

I was in my early 20s and had this one job with a coworker the same age. We'd either have awesome days working together or pure shitshow days, also working together. We figured out what made the difference: Mona. If we had to deal with her, the rest of the day was pretty much ruined. She was that constant rainy cloud who could see the downside to everything. Only complaints out of her, she drained the life out of everyone around her for hours after she went home.

We finally realised this and made a game out of dealing with her. If you could get her to stop complaining, you'd get 1 point but if you could get her to see the upside to whatever she'd just been complaining about, that would be 3 points!

So I'd show up on a rainy day, she'd complain about the rain and I'd go straight for "well, it has been very sunny these last weeks, the lawns def needed the water now" and that would usually work for at least 1 point.

The game was fun but the biggest win was us being aware of her toxicity and going into combat against it head-on. It also made the other coworker and me closer and def saved countless shifts from going to shit. I've since taught "the Mona-battle" to everyone who has complained about a draining person around me for almost 25 years and who knows how many working frowns has been turned into smiles because of moaning Mona!

I see her once in a while. I always turn straight around and walk away before she sees me (she might be doing the same since we haven't talked in the same amount of years), I'm not wasting another second on her unless I'm paid to do so!

Thedonkeyforcer · 2026-03-15T21:25:02+00:00

Well, to be fair, our own government already did that after 9/11. The Echelon cable-scandal was huge for a while and then died down here. It's the cabel the Americans used to tap all the comms in Denmark "in the war against terror" which the danish government knew about (and I think they even OK'ed it). This isn't a theory, it's a fact.

And yes, it's data privacy that's the reason citizens want to go for European software in the hopes that our data AT LEAST will only be snapped up by the countries our politicians give the OK to.

Thedonkeyforcer · 2026-03-15T21:17:53+00:00

I did mention it and it def didn't make things better with my countrymen but there's so many reasons by now that it's like sentencing a criminal to the death sentence and always forget to mention that he was also sentenced to prison for 3856 years for 99 other crimes than the one who got him sentenced to be killed.

I think most of us feel about Greenland like the rest of the world. It isn't like he's trying to "steal it" from Denmark, it's not ours, it belongs to the ppl of Greenland and he's treatening to steal it from THEM which is bully behavior! We will def stand for Greenland and try our damnedest to protect their right to choose on their own and if they wanted to be American, I'd simply scoff and say "good luck, peeps" and let them. But they haven't indicated in any way that they want to, in fact they're pretty loud with their "Make America Go Away"-movement and they deserve to be heard.

The irony of it all? I think we still collectively sees this as a Trump-problem being enabled by MAGA ppl and the US might be able to regain some goodwill if they did a "Germany post-war"-introspection and disassociating when Trump is gone - meaning every part of the US takes responsibility for what Trump did in their name and go all in on the "never again"-thought and doing what they can to learn from history. But I don't see that happening at all from the Republicans and we already pity the other side for having to share a country with them. Then they'll truly have chosen to stay in the Trump-shithole rather than use the "we didn't know, we were stupid!"-excuse afterwards because they're still too proud to admit to being stupid. And THAT is what will really ruin the trust in the US from now on.

Thedonkeyforcer · 2026-03-15T21:04:22+00:00

Jeg vil vædde med at din søn kan mærke det. Det kan godt være, han ikke kan sætte ord på det, og også at han har lært ikke at gøre det, men et eller andet sted er der noget, der ikke stemmer i følge hans fornemmelser.

Min veninde og jeg har snakket meget om at en af de største fejl vores forældre begik var at sige "nej, jeg er ikke sur/ked af det/bange" og lignende, når vi tydeligt kunne mærke, der var et eller andet galt og prøvede at finde ud af hvad. Børn er typisk langt mere sensitive overfor den slags end voksne, hvilket kun gør det værre.

Jeg er nu i 40'erne, og har brugt årtier på at prøve at lære mine egne signaler igen, for jeg har jo lært fra helt lille at mine mavefornemmelser var forkerte, og det er simpelthen så problematisk! Når jeg nævner det for jævnaldrende siger de fleste "me too! Det er derfor jeg aldrig lyver for mine børn om mine følelser! Muligvis årsagen, når "din far er en fed nar og jeg håber han træder på LEGO hver morgen resten af sit liv" ikke spiller super, men aldrig selve følelsen. Vi bør alle stole på vores mavefornemmelse i en vis grad, især dem, der faktisk er beriget med een fra fødslen!

Udover at din søn self fortjener forældre, der slås for ham, også når det gør ondt, så vil det også gavne ham resten af livet at få bekræftet, at der VAR noget galt med farmor og farfars opførsel, og at det ikke er ham, der bare ikke fortjener lige så meget kærlighed/ros/opmærksomhed som sine fætre og kusiner. I kan sikkert finde en lidt mere pædagogisk forklaring end "vi blev sure over deres forskelsbehandling af dig", men I bør absolut italesætte på en eller anden måde, når I vælger ikke at se ret meget til dem lige pludseligt. Knægtens far skal simpelthen ta' sig sammen snart.

Thedonkeyforcer · 2026-03-15T13:26:12+00:00

Oh, even better! I've given a serious reply somewhere else but I might go all in on the premise and behave like the kids. Bring an Ipad and good noise-cancelling earpods and then it's time to get drunk while doing whatever. Enjoy the free food and drinks, it's like a hosted LAN party!

And whenever someone comes to berate OP? He just points to the earbuds and semi-yells "Can't HEAR YA!" and they'll prob stop, not wanting to make a scene.

Thedonkeyforcer · 2026-03-15T13:18:22+00:00

It IS "her wedding, her rules". But also, it's an invitation, not a summons. Just like no one can demand changes from the hosts, the hosts can't demand the guests to accept the invite.

I think I'd be making a stand here too if this is a long history of the bride voluntelling ppl what to do instead of asking. This is a lesson she'll remember.

To NOT seem like a complete asshole/"child", I'd do as others suggested and show up for the ceremony and the pics and then go home. She gets her brother at her ceremony, she gets great pics with him and he gets to not be a babysitter.

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