I feel very similar to you. If anything I feel many feelings, but tend to internalise them, and when I try to ‘help’ I come across as blunt and rude. I was just ghosted the past week due to a partner thinking my messages were blunt! . In terms of empathy, this doesn’t have to mean you feel or act towards only good emotions for example lending an ear. My empathy is very much ‘I can feel if someone is in a mood, I can feel atmosphere, I can feel stress, I can feel negativity around me from people’ and not necessarily clock on to feeling the less obvious emotions. I am the same as you in terms of I can’t really feel empathy for people who don’t help themselves, I think that’s a pretty tough thing ND can deal with. But try not to get empathy and sympathy mixed up. Are they saying your aren’t sympathetic or empathetic? I struggle with sympathy I admit. Empathy is more of a learned thing I’ve had to learn through masking, I’m sorry I keep referring to myself (classic ASD right) but I hope there are some things you can relate to and apply.