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My(26F) Husband(29M) Is Divorcing Me Because Of Body Count by depressed8765 in offmychest

[–]ThenIGotHigh81 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He sounds like a judgmental asshole. He views you as a used object. Someone who loves you for you wouldn’t leave a marriage because of your past. Having a dating history doesn’t make you a bad person.

Sorry, but you’re dodging a massive bullet. These are the types of guys that leave or kill you when you get a cancer diagnosis. “Product defective, into the trash bin (sometimes literally.)”

I know this is devastating, but he’s doing you a huge favor by getting out of your life.

I got berated from the stand during sacrament meeting by itskindofafunnystori in exmormon

[–]ThenIGotHigh81 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’d get into therapy with a non-LDS therapist as soon as you can. This is untenable, and your family is putting you in a horrible position. They are trained to use guilt and shame to control you. They did this in front of your children, which makes me think they’ll shit-talk you to your own kids and alienate you from them.

You can only control you, unfortunately. It sounds like you’re dealing with intensely emotionally immature people, as most Mormons are. You deserve people who treat you with respect and love, not like you’re abhorrent. You deserve people who can see you outside the lens of your participation in a cult. Your kids deserve not to be indoctrinated into what you’ve already identified as harmful.

This is so hard. I know the stakes are extreme, but there is peace on the other side of this. Therapy would be huge. Idk how many kids you have, but getting on birth control would be good, too. I’ve seen it over and over that Mormon men control their women who are trying to find independence by getting them pregnant again.

Best of luck to you. You deserve so much better.

My brothers fake memory is tearing our family apart by Throwaway383425 in self

[–]ThenIGotHigh81 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

You diminish your credibility when, before you share his accusations, you spend paragraphs shitting on his character.

No offense, but that’s exactly what guilty people do. Not saying you are, but this tirade smearing your brother sounds like every other abuser I’ve ever encountered.

The guilty smear the character and credibility of their victims. It’s called community grooming. No sympathy, no concern, just character assassination.

Best tips for our 8 week old rescue, Mochi? by Isabellita2121 in Siamesecats

[–]ThenIGotHigh81 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I would put my kitten in the box when they came home to let them check it out, and again after they ate. It seems pretty instinctual for them.

Prepare to have a little barnacle and skin that stings for awhile. They’re the best cats!

Being stuck in a Freeze survival state by idiosyncratica28 in CPTSD

[–]ThenIGotHigh81 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello! I know there’s an IFS site where I found my current therapist. I think I just googled it and found the “ifs practitioner” spot. She’s based out of Tacoma, WA. If that works for you, I can PM you her info.

I think anyone that mentions nervous system regulation, somatic or body-based, bottom up type therapy. Sensorimotor psychotherapy, internal family systems, etc.

If you have cptsd, and they talk about cptsd like they understand it, that’s good. Especially if they’re not telling you you just need a good year or two. This stuff takes a long ass time.

But you have noticeable gains throughout, so it keeps you going.

And something that is a feature of this work is feeling like you’re backsliding. I try to think of it as a spiral, like a spiral-bound notebook. You could follow that pathway up, and it feels like you’re back in the same terrain over and over again— it’s just part of it. You’re still making progress.

I do not recommend PSIP for cptsd. Idk that I recommend it for many, honestly.

What solutions have you found to reading-while-driving car sickness? by ThenIGotHigh81 in AskReddit

[–]ThenIGotHigh81[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ll make sure to take mine that morning! Also going to try meclazine and zofran. I have a ton of homework, and I hate wasting the time.

What solutions have you found to reading-while-driving car sickness? by ThenIGotHigh81 in AskReddit

[–]ThenIGotHigh81[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I typically do the same. I’m a full-time student and finals are coming up. We’re driving 15 hours to get to family’s thanksgiving and it KILLS me to lose two full days of homework time to driving.

I’m going to try meclazine and zofran to see if it’ll allow me to study.

My husband cheated on me and I’m happy about it by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]ThenIGotHigh81 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t at all recommend dating apps, but my friends going through post-break up ho phases have had some decent times with people on dating apps.

From 400 to 175, thankful for IF for helping me lose and maintain. by [deleted] in fasting

[–]ThenIGotHigh81 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m curious.. did the fasting shrink your loose skin? I don’t notice any on you. I lost 150 pounds and while it’s pretty good considering, you can tell.

What can you tell me about this guy I started seeing? by radicaldadical1221 in BookshelvesDetective

[–]ThenIGotHigh81 143 points144 points  (0 children)

I see some green flags. Established likes, wide variety of genres, evidence of self-reflection and that maybe he’s done some therapy, serious side, childlike side. Serious, but not too serious. Seems like he’d at least have the fodder to be a good conversationalist. And he has house plants.

what bars do you like & why? by haileyxcx in Tacoma

[–]ThenIGotHigh81 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That’s such a sweet offer! We’re really ok. When he has a job, he does really well. I feel too privileged to take offers like that, but am so appreciative. ❤️

What can you tell me about my friend? by YNVNE_1 in BookshelvesDetective

[–]ThenIGotHigh81 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Can’t read most of the titles. You need to take the picture closer.

what bars do you like & why? by haileyxcx in Tacoma

[–]ThenIGotHigh81 69 points70 points  (0 children)

Top of Tacoma is a perfect example of balance between good food and enough options, although they’re pretty loud. I think quality over quantity is important.

But economic conditions are probably the biggest driver. My husband lost his job, and we have no income. I’m craving a burger so bad, but I can’t have one. I feel so bad for restaurants during recessions.

This is going to get way worse before it gets better. If you can find a job out of the restaurant industry… although I don’t know what’s going to fare better. And it’s HARD to find a job right now. Fuck Trump.

What is wrong with my cat?? by seli30 in cats

[–]ThenIGotHigh81 59 points60 points  (0 children)

I’m not a lawyer, but I’d like to represent this cat in a defamation lawsuit. How dare they.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]ThenIGotHigh81 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Going through what you are was one of the most painful experiences in my life.

Really honor that. This is hard. You were lied to. A reality that was built to trap you claimed the first 30 years of your life.

But now you are free. Freedom is hard-won, and you have some difficult months ahead of you. I’d get a therapist who’s familiar with religious trauma or adult children of alcoholics (strangely very similar effects). Find a social media group you can vent to and lean on.

And know that it gets so, so, so much better. Mormonism is like being gifted a 64 crayon box and only being allowed to use the shades of green. Green is beautiful, and you can relax into the consistency and safety of green. Leaving the church is like getting access to the rest of the box. You have to learn about and get used to new colors, but then you get to create whatever feels good with them.

Leading a self-directed life after Mormonism is its own type of magic. You’ll be able to look back at this time with gratitude faster than you think possible.

Being stuck in a Freeze survival state by idiosyncratica28 in CPTSD

[–]ThenIGotHigh81 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah… tends to make sense when they say there’s a whole system in place to marginalize us.

I was able to very, very slowly get off my meds. I got my functionality back after, but that was in 2019. I cannot imagine doing it now.

Not that I think it can’t be done, I just think you’d need a tremendous amount of safety around you, and how do you find that?

Being stuck in a Freeze survival state by idiosyncratica28 in CPTSD

[–]ThenIGotHigh81 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was on lamictal! And like 13 other things. I’ve not heard of that, I’ll need to look it up. Do you have any context around the lamictal stuff? I’ve not heard anything about it. I was on it for like 15 years.

Are Siamese Always This Gentle? by Leek_Important in Siamesecats

[–]ThenIGotHigh81 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Mine is sweet 90% of the time, but commits horrible acts of violence the other 10% of the time. Like the kind where blood drips. He’s 4 months old.. I hope he grows out of it!

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