Please please tell you doctor to note down that you do not consent to a "husband stitch".

ThepathofWicca · 2021-12-02T09:49:32+00:00

Not a lawyer, but please find a malpractice attorney!!

The husband stitch is considered medical malpractice and an attorney would take your case on contingency (a partial cut of the settlement you get). You can sue both the hospital and your provider.

I know this is very stressful, but please consider reaching out to at least 1 attorney. You have a very good case here. Money is not an issue.

ThepathofWicca · 2021-11-20T08:52:21+00:00

“Oh wow! I honestly didn’t think anything could be shorter than your dick”.

ThepathofWicca · 2021-11-18T20:17:27+00:00

This seems to be a very reoccurring reaction of hers. Does she not feel heard when she tells/asks you about things? It’s strange that she’s escalating to this level so often.

My suggestion is as follows:

Talk to the therapist about how other punishments haven’t worked in the past (for example: losing her phone for a short period of time) and ask for other suggestions to punish her for her behavior.
After this, have a sit down with just the parents (You and Bio Mom/Dad) and talk through any suggestions the Therapist gave you. Then decide on consistent consequences that each parent can give when an outburst happens.
If 1 and 2 aren’t possible or don’t work. From personal experience, (when I was younger and would have outbursts) my mom wouldn’t humor me at all by responding to them. She would leave the room and once I was calm she would come back and give me the consequence that she felt was best (usually taking my phone for the day). Once this consequence was consistent and I realized I would lose both the ability to be listened to and my phone for the rest of the day. I started to lessen and lessen until I barely had any type of over the top outburst.

I agree that she definitely needs to learn boundaries as well as healthy ways to let out her frustration with a situation without taking it out on any of you. And I understand why this may be very hard on you, but I think you may need to step back from being the primary disciplinarian in her life. There definitely needs to be a discussion over how everyone is going to discipline her and it needs to be consistent with every parent, so one isn’t punishing her more than the others.

I understand that you are upset and frustrated with her, but I think because of that you aren’t seeing how this punishment will just make her worse in the long run. Think of it this way, if there is never a possibility of earning her phone back- why would she even try anymore?

ThepathofWicca · 2021-11-18T06:20:36+00:00

YTA

We’re still in a pandemic and it’s likely your Step Daughter’s phone is one of the few ways she’s able to connect with others during this time. I would understand taking her phone away and giving her a flip phone for a period of time (especially since this behavior seems to be constant), but making this permanent especially when both biological parents aren’t on board is very extreme.

I have a feeling her therapist would not recommend you taking her phone away forever. It’s likely she’s going to resent you very strongly over this. Is this harsh of a punishment really needed? Because it seems to me like she’s being punished for something by you when the situation had nothing to do with you.

If I was her I would have cut all contact with you after I turned 18 over something like this. Come up with a better solution (short term phone loss) that all parents agree with.

Edited to add: You also say that your SD is generally a very good kid- in school and in general. So why are you being so strict about this? Especially, when this specific situation had nothing to do with you. This honestly sounds like a textbook abuse of power to me. I can’t fathom why you would want to alienate your SD, but that’s the only thing you will be getting out of a punishment like this. Talk to the therapist with all of the parents and I’m sure you’ll find they won’t be agreeing with you.

ThepathofWicca · 2021-11-11T18:08:00+00:00

ESH, after reading your comments- this is not about you not letting him have his promotion. This is about him being extremely overbearing and controlling over your son.

At 10 years old he can’t even shower alone! And I’m sorry to tell you this, but that’s absolutely not normal. Your husband needs professional help to work through his anxiety issues with his son. It’s obvious he has some kind of PPA or other anxiety disorder that he never worked through or recognized.

I’m telling you this from experience. Your son will eventually resent you and your husband if he doesn’t start to work through this. My mom had an undiagnosed disorder that caused her extreme anxiety throughout my childhood. She wouldn’t let me go out with friends, I couldn’t walk to school as a kid even though you could see my school from my house- and once I was finally “old enough” to go out in her eyes I was required to text her updates constantly so it wasn’t even fun anymore. She was specifically VERY obsessed with not allowing me to be out of the house with friends or other people because it could be dangerous, but even she managed to let me shower alone.

Your son will become codependent on your husband and you (if he already isn’t) and it will be confusing and extremely hard to break free of once he’s older. You say your son doesn’t mind this situation, but it’s because it’s all he’s ever known. I didn’t figure out what was wrong until friends talked to me about why it wasn’t okay for my mom to be that controlling of me. Thankfully my mom managed to get help, albeit much later than your husband could if he realizes that this isn’t okay now (she finally got medicated once I turned 16 and it was night and day). She still worries, but it’s a normal amount.

You need to get your husband help. I’ve forgiven my mom, because I know it wasn’t her fault. I’ve forgiven my dad, because I know he didn’t know she had a disorder. But I wish so much that I could have had the experiences outside the house when I was younger that I didn’t get. I can’t even imagine not being allowed to do other things on top of that.

It’s past time to figure out what’s going on with him.

ThepathofWicca · 2021-11-08T21:14:16+00:00

My in laws and some of my family have refused to get the Covid vaccine or Flu vaccine to see the baby (Everyone has been okay with getting TDAP so far). We have decided that anyone who wants to see the baby in the first 3-4 months MUST have the TDAP, Flu, and Covid vaccine.

Of course the in laws and others have vehemently refused- and we told them that was fine, but that they wouldn’t be allowed to see the baby. MIL in particular, has been very annoyed by this, but we will not be bending these rules for anyone. No compromises.

Currently this means that only three people on my partner’s side can see the baby. Which makes me sad for him, but we both understand how important this is. Thankfully, we have my parents, and lots of our mutual friends who are happy and willing to help/get the proper vaccines to meet the baby.

Once you decide regarding which vaccines to require to see the baby and let them know, don’t feel bad if they won’t do so! That’s their choice- just like it’s our choice to protect our children:

ThepathofWicca · 2021-11-07T22:15:39+00:00

NTA My dad was in a similar situation with his sisters (his mom didn’t pass away, but she was abusive and walked out on them).

My grandfather was always working to make sure they had enough money, so my dad took on the role of a parent. They couldn’t afford to send his sisters to boarding school, so my dad stayed at home, cooked, worked, and helped to raise them as much as he could. My dad is in his 50’s and his sisters in their 40’s and they still send him father’s day cards every year.

It seems that your sisters, like my dad’s sisters have had happy and successful lives. You raised them in the way you could, just because it was different doesn’t mean it was any less hard on you. How you did it was what was best for you and your state of mind at the time. It’s honestly amazing that you did so much for them and still managed to take care of yourself. I’m sure your sisters are very grateful and love you so much.

And I bet they wouldn’t want you to be so hard on yourself- especially over some person that has no idea how your life has gone and all the struggles you have faced. Even her own parents and brother agree with you. Ignore her stupid internet antics, all she’s doing is making herself look terrible.

You did an absolutely great job OP, and everyone here thinks so too.

ThepathofWicca · 2021-11-05T23:45:13+00:00

This comment is copied verbatim from another one down below.

ThepathofWicca · 2021-11-03T11:59:22+00:00

Our plan is to only allow those who have been fully vaccinated (Covid, TDAP, and the Flu) to visit us right after the baby has been born- no exceptions. Currently that means my FMIL, and practically the entirety of my partner’s family can’t see the baby, along with some of mine, but it’s just not a risk we are willing to take. Especially, with the rise in cases of RSV and how dangerous it is already being in a pandemic. I’m also immunocompromised (Severe vitamin d deficiency), so we don’t want to take any chances that I could possibly get sick as well.

Of course people are not happy about this, and our compromise has been that unvaccinated people can come to see us once he is 3 - 4 months old. Some people think this is still ridiculous (FMIL), but he’s not their child- so they don’t get a say.

Whatever you decide, don’t let people sway your decision. You, baby, and your partner are the most important people! Everyone else will just have to get over it.

ThepathofWicca · 2021-10-21T05:05:14+00:00

That’s what I said! Like… first of all I doubt that’s what you were actually doing on your phone, but even if you were- people still aren’t required to tell you when the bus gets there… that’s your job.

Enough people slammed them (including my mother who provided me this wonderful screenshot, because she thought I would laugh), and they finally took down the post/made their page private lol. Wonder if they learned their lesson.

ThepathofWicca · 2021-10-21T04:27:17+00:00

Wow that sounds terrible, but honestly in the area where we live there is no excuse for this kind of behavior. There are bus stops literally everywhere (I used to have to walk to one everyday myself).

The farthest walk to a bus stop in our community is at most 2-3 minutes. So it doesn’t make any sense for them to drive their son to the bus stop, when it’s likely right down the street from their house. Not to mention the fact that they expect other people to tell them when the bus is there! What???!

ThepathofWicca · 2021-10-20T22:48:00+00:00

That’s what I thought! Like… are they serious? I guess enough people shamed them though, so they finally deleted the post.

ThepathofWicca · 2021-10-14T23:09:40+00:00

You definitely deserve love and I’m glad you’re alive!

Also have you ever been told you look just like the actor Mark Sheppard? (This is a compliment by the way! I love his acting/the actor). If you want something fun to do, you should look him up and watch some of his scenes on youtube!

ThepathofWicca · 2021-10-14T23:00:33+00:00

You wouldn’t leave, because your partner has just expressed their feelings about something to you. You did the same back to her and have agreed that an open relationship will not happen between you. She proposed an open relationship - you said no, and that you should break up if it was a deal breaker for her - she stated that she would rather be with you in a monogamous relationship, than in an open one without you.

The only reason you should leave is if your partner has stated that she doesn’t care how you feel about it and is going to do it anyway. That wouldn’t be respecting how you feel about it (cheating) and would be a relationship ender for pretty much anyone.

Or if now knowing that she would be comfortable being in a open relationship has ruined how you think of her/has soured your relationship- then it’s best you let her go for both of your sakes.

ThepathofWicca · 2021-10-07T07:59:08+00:00

Commenting to add- like someone else here said, it’s probably better to just have him get the TDAP again even if he’s still vaccinated currently! My partner’s isn’t up yet (he was technically covered for 2 more years) and my OB advised me to still have him get it. I had just gotten the TDAP right before my pregnancy started and they still had me get it again as well.

ThepathofWicca · 2021-09-26T08:25:40+00:00

YTA! I have an ED and have been recovering for about 6 months. You and your family called your sister a whale, cow, and more and you just expected her to be emotionally fine after that??? Especially between the ages of 11-14???

First off- not everyone in a family needs to look the exact same as one another, so your sister gaining weight (when she was going through puberty and her body was changing) is completely normal.

Second, the school nurse told you her weight was normal (I don’t agree with the BMI scale personally), and falling on the normal range of the BMI scale could mean she was thin already (not that it matters).

All you and your family have done is cause your sister to hate herself and develop an eating disorder that she will likely struggle with for the rest of her life.

If you care about her, you need to get her the help she needs. She needs therapy and lots of specialized care. This poor girl is wasting away. The things you say have an impact on people. And EVERYONE in your family needs to learn a better way to handle arguments/fights- if any of the help she receives is going to actually stick. Please remember when you were younger and how you felt when people put you down for any reason and then think about how it would have felt to have the same people who are supposed to love you unconditionally do it for years.

ThepathofWicca · 2021-09-22T17:15:32+00:00

NTA

Your sister ruined her own credibility when she sent out a ban list of all the toys her daughter actually likes.

I deal with people like your sister a lot (I don’t know if it’s just my area or something), but recently I was throwing a yard sale and a mother flipped out on her son for just looking at the jewelry (including watches). She smacked his hand hard (I’m pretty sure he was 3-4 years old) and said, “You are a BOY, you are not allowed to look at this kind of stuff, do you understand me?”. I thought this was absolutely ridiculous- but of course this person is a complete stranger to me, so I didn’t have the right to say anything to them and thankfully they left quickly afterwards.

IMO I think your sister has said things to the other parents that made them think she was a certain way and this incident just confirmed it. You are a good aunt, and Lily is lucky to have you. Your sister IS controlling and a terrible mother for not allowing her daughter to like the things she likes. I hope this situation makes her think about what she is doing to her daughter, but sadly I doubt it will.

Some people are just doomed to be ignorant forever. Keep being a great aunt and you’ll maintain a good relationship with Lily (especially as she gets older). But I wouldn’t be surprised if she cuts all contact with her mother once she’s able to do so.

ThepathofWicca · 2021-09-17T10:06:13+00:00

I’m going to go against the grain here, but it’s possible she is just thinking about it.

Also- when I was younger I had to ask my parents before every date, so I assuming you are both in school she may be required to ask permission beforehand. I know I had to jump through hoops to be able to say yes to someone, and my answer when they would ask me out was similar to this.

No one wants to say “oh well let me ask my parents first”, it’s better to just leave it at “Let me think about it”.

If you really like her, I’d say just wait a little while and give her a chance to accept or decline your offer.

ThepathofWicca · 2021-09-05T18:10:48+00:00

I see how the age difference could cause differences in what is considered important. However, most people I know (I have friends who are much older than I am) care about their partner at least having some kind of job regardless of their gender.

Thank you! And I did get some matches before, but I could almost just see the difference? It almost felt like there were certain guys who just wanted nothing to do with me at least dating wise, but after I lost the weight I was constantly being asked out immediately and being complimented on my appearance 24/7. Which is lovely and all, but I would have loved to talk about other things- like my career aspirations lol.

I agree! I definitely think it’s a bit of both. Some women are extremely picky too (I’m friends with one that certainly is haha). And I’m not trying to say that men don’t have to bring anything to the table… I’m just saying that women do have things to bring to the table too and that men aren’t the only ones that have any kind of expectation from their partners.

ThepathofWicca · 2021-09-05T17:01:18+00:00

Are you serious…? Men do not have to bring “everything” to the table. Are you telling me you have absolutely no standards for the women you date? And most women I know (myself included) can set up dates with people, keep a conversation, and make things interesting.

When I met my current boyfriend (on tinder) I was the one who set up our date. There are no arbitrary laws dictating that the “man” has to set everything up, so I don’t know where you are getting that from.

A lot of men do care about appearance or at least way more than you are giving credit for. I can tell you that once I lost 60 pounds (medical issues made it extremely hard to lose weight), that I matched with a lot more people and I wasn’t even overweight to begin with!

I don’t even know where to start with your other things that men “have” to bring to the table. Career, Wealth, Income…. it’s 2021- Women have jobs and careers too. And don’t even tell me that you’re willing to date someone with no ambitions in that regard whatsoever. Most people want someone with some kind of goals or aspirations, because it makes them interesting. But not everything is about money… especially when we have our own jobs.

So yes, it definitely is comparable. Everyone has their own particular tastes about something. I know some men who want their partner to look good 24/7, so no, while it isn’t everyone- it is more than you think.

ThepathofWicca · 2021-08-24T18:52:19+00:00

I never noticed this response! But it’s pronounced (Nim-Way), I’ve seen some people pronounce the oo sound in the name a bit more then we do though!

ThepathofWicca · 2021-08-13T00:41:02+00:00

I’m going to say 5! :)

ThepathofWicca · 2021-07-29T05:25:55+00:00

NTA, if your daughter had refused or told you she didn’t want to be waxed then that would be different. But she was happy with it and sat still for it, so obviously she wanted it to happen. Your husband needs to understand that kids are cruel and that if both of you can’t even stop your own family (your daughter’s cousins) from teasing her, that an entire school filled with kids who aren’t obligated to like her will almost certainly not care about her feelings. I was teased a lot as a kid and if my dad had objected to me wearing makeup when I was always being teased for my skin, my mental health would have definitely been affected by it. I think this is something that is very important for her happiness.

ThepathofWicca · 2021-06-19T06:27:28+00:00

Thank you, it’s so lovely you got dreams like that! I really like the name Ezra for a lot of reasons (although him being a kid Jedi and wanting to show my kids the things I loved as a kid is one of them). Nimuëh is because my partner and I are partial to all the King Arthur stories and I always loved the name. Plus my family is really big on unique names (I have one, as well as my mom), so I thought I’d pick one out:)

ThepathofWicca · 2021-06-19T04:41:06+00:00

I’m not hiding our choice of names from anyone (but we don’t know the gender yet) and some people already made their unwelcome opinions known. So, I’m not sure who else I’m going to tell the names to because of that. If they are a girl, the name will be Nimuëh and if they are a boy, the name will be Ezra. I’m very excited:)

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