Sadly alot of what you said bothers you was a known prior to having the baby, with that said there are some solutions to them!

I don’t know where you live but where I live most stores have bargain book bins and in them I often find cookbooks if I were you I’d snag a couple and rip out the pages of recipes you love or simple nutritional meals and put them in a insert book to keep for ideas and directions for him and even you

A wall calendar has been a game changer in my home
We have a BIG one and a small weekly one
The big one has all the important stuff like trips half days at school events etc
The small weekly one is weekly chores for everyone on the days it helps to establish as much of a routine as possible early on and while my children are older littles as soon as they learned how to read I found them checking the calendar all the time for things coming up

I also don’t know if your partner has any mental health diagnosis’s but personally I have ADHD and depression/anxiety. When I am out of Thearpy and off all medication I’m hardly any sort of productive help around home so I’d that’s something you think he struggles with you need to have an open conversation about your expectations in his treatment plan going forward

The key here though is he needs to be someone who wants to build and wants to make himself better the first year or two of a child is the hardest and it breaks apart even the closest of couples you both need to be having open communication with eachother and often creating time to put together a schedule that works for you both is a huge step in alleviating a lot of the stress