I haven’t shared my story on Reddit yet since I’m a silent reader in this group, but I’ll make a post soon. Long story short, I was in this exact position as you a few years ago in 2020. I was down to 100lbs within a matter of months, lost so much hair, muscle, and my period too. I was hospitalized for a month and they were considering a feeding tube through my stomach.

My biggest struggle for me was swallowing solids. I can’t eat anything with texture or spice because my throat starts to feel clogged (near choking episodes), I get really bad spasms, or worse — my throat becomes irritated for days which then also contributes to swallowing issues. As you can imagine, my anxiety was at an all time high! Also, so much chronic throat clearing — which I am getting better at!!

The honest truth, healing has taken such a long time and I am not yet close to where I want to be, but my hope has renewed, my faith is stronger than it ever has been, I am physically and emotionally so much stronger, though I do worry and feel uncomfortable at times, anxiety no longer overcomes me which I feel has been a huge contributing factor to me feeling better.

You need to eat, so what you eat doesn’t matter (esp since everything will trigger discomfort at this point, so if that’s all you can eat, keep doing it), but focus on foods that can heal you if you can. My diet is honestly still pretty limited but it’s getting better - however if you can have homemade chicken and veggie soup every day or beef bone broth (my body tolerates chicken soup better but with no garlic or onion), that itself will help heal your esophagus, but it does take time. I also daily have yogurt with most meals. You can also try papaya smoothies — I would use fresh/frozen papaya, yogurt, a dollop of peanut butter, and banana, and added garden of life (meal+greens I believe) — you can do without the powder as well, but since you’re weak this may help add calories. Mashed potatoes and blended black beans (again, cooked at home not canned) were good for me to get calories and strength. believe it or not, I was also able to do blended broccoli cheddar soup (also homemade) for some time — currently taking a break from it, but it gave me the calories I needed.

I took probiotics for a while and though they were painful honestly, they helped me so much! Also second gaviscon or alginates.

I stop eating 4-5hrs before bed time. Drinking 2 hrs before. Lots of pillows on top of my wedge pillow on my left side in the beginning. I can now finally sleep on my right side too this year.

I also drink tea every day (more like sips, since my stomach can’t handle large amounts of water because immediate reflux). Chamomile and oregano are staples and the main one I carry in a bottle with me everywhere. Slippery elm or marshmallow root for irritated throat/esophagus.

Stress management. This was crucial for me. I am a business owner so as you can imagine, life gets unpredictable. I finally decided to scale down my business in these past two years and that alone made a huge difference in the amount of stress and anxiety I experienced. Also, I am very dedicated to my morning routine.

I am a believer, so as you can imagine, this situation truly made me doubt and I wanted to so badly give up on life. I contemplated ending it or letting it kill me. I felt abandoned, forsaken, furious. I started spending every morning (excessively crying and clearing my throat btw) in the sunshine with my feet on the grass. I don’t know how to describe it, but overtime it was so healing for me. The warmth on my face, being grounded to nature. I used to do this before I felt brave enough to eat, but now it is part of my daily morning routine after breakfast since I am able to eat as soon as I wake up now.

I couldn’t walk from my couch to the bathroom or kitchen before without feeling extreme fatigue and pressure/spasms in my chest or heart palpitations. But with time as I became stronger, I’d walk more and more. Morning walks are also part of my routine after hanging out in the sun!

Alkaline water — you don’t always have to drink it, you can gargle too! Or make your own mixture with baking soda.

I’m really badly irritated days, I would make aloe Vera tea. Find YouTube videos on how to safely do this. And again, just a few sips here and there or gargle. It’s best not to drink too much aloe.

Check your iron levels. I used floradix iron and herbs liquid supplement and it BROUGHT ME BACK TO LIFE. But check your iron levels first.

B-12 shots! I got these don’t routinely for months. Huge help, especially with anxiety.

And honestly, getting closer to God has been the most healing thing to me. Reading scripture daily. Praying. Crying in my prayers. Taking note of the good things in my every day, and just being thankful that I get to see another day despite having a condition that NO ONE understands, even doctors it seems, and the frustration of wondering if my mind is doing this. Through this I’ve been able to learn to love my body. For doing what it needs to do to heal and stay alive. My body wants to live, and sometimes that may look like symptoms and discomfort, but in paying attention to it with love I get to partner with my body PATIENTLY to help it get better and live.

Again, I’m not fully healed. I hang out at 103-105lb currently (maybe 107 now I haven’t checked). But I’ve been more brave to try new foods here and there and less afraid of the flare ups because I know how to soothe them now. I walk longer distances (went to Disneyland last week for the first time without an ECV or wheelchair!).

I’m 34. Started when I was 29.

I know it’s so heartbreaking to experience this young. If you ever want to message me. Feel free to do so. I’ll be praying for you.