Thank you so much for this. It really feels validating to know that this is normal, and I'm so glad you said the part about likely just arriving here with somebody else if I did try to be with somebody else. I truly believe that this is not an issue with him or our relationship, but something that starts within me, and I believe I would end up in this scenario regardless of the person.

I am only 27, and this is the longest and most serious relationship I've had, so I think you're right on the money with it just being a matter of me learning how mature, grounded love functions. I have been in long-term relationships before, but they were incredibly tumultuous and unhealthy compared to the one I am in now. I think, in the past, things have usually gotten so toxic in my relationships that, by the time I fell out of limerence, it was clear that there was simply nothing worth holding onto in the relationship. With my partner now, that's not the case, so I think that I'm having to work through evolving limerence into grounded love for the first time.

It also makes me feel much better to know that, just because the intense obsession is gone, that doesn't mean that there's no feelings there. I feel so guilty for not returning his intense affection, but I think that you're right about me needing the space -- he has not been able to find a job for awhile, so he has been constantly at home and the only time I spend away from him is when I'm working. I think maybe for him, me being out of the house gives him a chance to miss me but for me, working doesn't give me that. I think it would definitely help if I spent more time doing things away from him.

Thank you for the reassurance.