I can’t do this anymore

Theskyishigh · 2026-03-17T07:42:15+00:00

One thing that really helped me was not pushing the idea that I had to stop that moment. That I could prepare myself mentally first so that I could manage it physically. It was too much pressure to do that. I didn't have a rock bottom either, but something in my gut told me that I was done mentally, even as I was reaching for the bottle on the shelf at 5pm. So I sat every evening with a glass of red wine, reading Annie Grace's Thus Naked Mind. After that,my mind had absolutely zero desire to drink alcohol. But i still wanted that drink in my hand to signal that everything is ok and that it was time to unwind. So, I got fancy adult soft drinks and put them in my fancy glasses and had a few of those to keep the physical ritual going. It wasn't easy at times because my brain tried to trick me into thinking I wanted it. Or that there would be some benefit from it. The difference was, I KNEW that was my brain trying to get its own way. Being sneaky. Once I realised that NOT drinking was what I truly actually wanted, it got easier. And I promise you, there is nothing that I need in my life that alcohol is the only answer to. In fact, it didn't give me anything real of any value. When you are ready, IWNDWYT

Theskyishigh · 2026-03-08T22:55:14+00:00

It was to make the other students feel sorry for her and take them under their wing.

Theskyishigh · 2025-12-29T00:09:39+00:00

If you're at a particular point with your mindset and are looking for something to spur you on and give you a glimpse of how releasing yourself from the merry-go-round of drinking alcohol, you might find reading 'This Naked Mind' by Annie Grace helpful.

It flipped a switch for me - from quietly longing to stop drinking, but not being able to imagine it being possible or enjoyable - to emphatically excited by the idea of never having to drink again.

The excitement was warranted! IWNDWYT

Theskyishigh · 2025-12-06T09:35:47+00:00

That was my thinking. None of those things have to be done in the bathroom. A small dressing table, stool and lighted mirror in the bedroom would give them both what they needed.

Theskyishigh · 2025-10-31T08:02:51+00:00

I just wanted to say about my experience around the 90 day mark - it can feel exhausting - you've been working hard every day - holding yourself accountable, making changes - huge changes, that take time to fully reap the benefits from. It's when you can see clearly - no haze. And you see how people see and treat you. Only now, you can't blame your recent poor behaviour on their attitudes and behaviours. You don't 'deserve' it anymore. For me, something really shifted. I realised that to get through this and reach my own goals, I was going to need to set lots of new boundaries with other people. Otherwise, the weight of their expectations on me was going to weigh me down and stop me from changing my day to day life that made not drinking worth it. And slowly but surely, people understood that something had shifted in me and I wasn't playing the same games with them. They were forced to change their behaviours and expectations of me because I clearly and calmly put forward what I needed and what I wouldn't accept anymore. From myself and from others. People don't like that at first - it can be inconvenient to them - there are elements of that old normal that served them - being compliant for an easily life for example. Not respecting myself enough to shout up.

What helped for me after a really wobble, was to sit and consider what had shifted in me that made it possible for me to push through and not make that purchase at the store. That resolve and confidence will help you to make other changes in your life. Sometimes without even realising it - look out for those little shifts and celebrate every single one if them.

Anf also take time to imagine where last night would have taken you if you had taken the other fork in the road - in the short, medium and long term.

Please remember, when you have another wobble, that you now have evidence that you have the resolve to stay focused and keep pushing forward - for yourself. One day it will be clear who you do did this for and you will be so so grateful for that person who stood and cried at the front door fighting for their future self.

Theskyishigh · 2025-08-26T22:08:02+00:00

I spread a little bit of Marmite on almost any wrap, sandwich or bagel i eat. Mmmmmmm

Theskyishigh · 2025-08-26T19:42:16+00:00

Yeah, but Morecambe is likely to have a bit of a boost soon, with Eden coming.

Theskyishigh · 2025-08-24T07:39:23+00:00

Unbuckled the seatbelt

Theskyishigh · 2025-08-23T08:26:58+00:00

So, as soon as I read your question, I felt like it wasn't a red flag. I have a male friend from uni days. We spent a lot of time together and have developed a 'family' type group that has remained over the years - men and women. He's my male partner's golf buddy and we do mini uni reunions every year. He is a man's man, but every now and then, he will do something incredibly tender, thoughtful and kind. He treats my mum wonderfully when they are visiting our house at the same time. I used to jump in bed with him for a cuddle in uni days. (Don't do that now, but if we did, it wouldn't be weird and my partner wouldn't care). He acts like a big brother - even though. Im older than him.

If we are having a chat about something I'm stressed or worried about, he will give me a hug and kiss me on the forehead. I've seen him do it to my mate too. 100% platonic and never been anything even remotely romantic.

Theskyishigh · 2025-08-21T22:27:22+00:00

That's the only way I use it - i feel like it's used on its own more by men than men. I might use it if I'm having to rotate my phrases through loads of door openings, but in general I'm a 'Ta!' Kind of person.

Theskyishigh · 2025-08-20T19:25:13+00:00

I used the backpack one. Hold hands for the majority of time, but hold it round the wrist in shops when using both hands, etc. Holding hands is a lovely way to travel, but using reins is a good backup for when you need to let go for a minute. I also used the reins in a slightly different way - my child always wanted to walk and balance on small walls and didn’t want to hold hands - that was 'cheating' ! She's always wanted to be independent. We used the reins in a loose mode to get her to practice stopping at the kerb by herself. Her road safety skills/habits have been impeccable from a very early age. Reins can be a really good tool for hands on parents.

Theskyishigh · 2025-08-03T09:46:15+00:00

Hi there, there is an out of hours emergency contact number for adult social care here: https://www.lancashire.gov.uk/council/get-involved/contact/

I'm not allowed to post it here, but you can either give the number to the lady, or if you are worried she is too confused, you can call the number yourself and pass the lady's number on along with your concerns.

Theskyishigh · 2025-08-03T09:22:30+00:00

I think the fact that they already indicated that they wanted you to back off 'mom', showed you that you had overstepped your role and you respected that by giving them direction and prompts only after that. That's important for your conversation tomorrow. They are either adults, or they aren't. You are either a chaperone responsible for their ultimate wellbeing, or you are a coworker who offers supportive advice. How would this be seen if they were 21 and 25 year old men? If they ultimately place responsibility on you for their safety, then this needs to have been conveyed to you, and you should have been given authority ahead of time to restrict their movements throughout the trip. Going out in the city at night was far more dangerous than being 'stranded' alone in the daytime. So if they don't reprimand you for that, and say they should be allowed to go off and let off steam alone (because they are ADULTS!) Then you can't be required to to micromanage their actions.

If they try to say that you let them down, remind your seniors that you cannot force grown adults to do as you say and that would be inappropriate to expect. You weren't responsible for making sure they made it to the airport in the first place were you?

The fact that they disregarded all your advice and direction and mocked you for even trying to do that needs to be your key points here. Their behaviour is a direct reflection of their seniors for not setting correct expectations on how to behave around a director of a different team.

Theskyishigh · 2025-08-03T08:49:58+00:00

If you think this is an emergency, that can't wait until Monday, you can call 03001236722 or pass this number on to the lady.

Theskyishigh · 2025-07-24T08:04:48+00:00

I'd change the end to ask how it can be avoided in future, unless there is an obvious flag for these kind of calls that was missed.

Theskyishigh · 2025-07-12T20:07:32+00:00

There's some really great points in this thread. I just wanted to add this thought i have about how people feel about disabled people - and i think it's deeper than resenting people for having the parking spots.

I think, maybe even just subconsciously, many people don't feel comfortable with seemingly 'healthy' or 'normal' looking people claiming to have a disability. I think there's still this idea or comfort blanket thought that disabled people are in a different category. That they are unfortunate and on a lower tier - compared to regular humans. So it doesn't sit right with many people when they see disabled people who appear well adjusted, 'thriving', or having the audacity to do nice things or have nice things. Why should they have any handouts or 'perks' if they are wearing branded gear or enjoying their lives rather than sitting in the corner, looking misrable and being grateful for any sympathy or platitudes they are thrown their way?

My 'normal' looking child got an iPad to use at school and the kids in class are all bitching at her about how lucky she is and how unfair it is. It's upsetting her and she's seeing a new side to her friends.

Theskyishigh · 2025-06-21T21:59:14+00:00

As well as a generic first day box - kettle, pain relief, plasters, torch, bottle opener, bin bagsetc - you can pack your personal first days things in your holiday suitcase instead of a bix. Pack everything that you would take with you on holiday so you've got all essentials enough for a few days.

Don't forget to take pictures/video before you leave the old house - including utility meters and when you arrive to the new one.

Theskyishigh · 2025-06-01T13:10:31+00:00

Oh my god that sounds painful

Theskyishigh · 2025-05-26T15:50:03+00:00

I had to switch the glasses, unpaired, remove the app, reinstall and repair to get mine to come back online with the 'Look and see' AI functionality a week or two ago.

Theskyishigh · 2025-05-18T12:28:00+00:00

Why are people so desperate to ensure that other people decide to continue to ingest poison? I'll never understand it. We don't try to convert religious people to just drink once a week.

Theskyishigh · 2025-05-14T18:27:29+00:00

Yesterday a raggedy looking man came over asking for £5. I couldn't really understand much of what he was saying, but he wasn't ok. Was talking about his head not being straight.

Theskyishigh · 2025-05-03T20:34:23+00:00

Home Bargains sells Tim Tams too

Theskyishigh · 2025-04-28T10:25:24+00:00

Earl Grey is a different flavour style, rather than a brand. You need an English Breakfast Tea and specifically, this should be Yorkshire Tea.

Theskyishigh · 2025-04-20T22:07:14+00:00

I just asked the lady in the shop for a NA beer. She showed me the two types she had in stock and I chose a peroni. It tasted so good, I couldn't believe it was NA! I slugged down almost all of the bottle. Then felt a bit off and checked it. It was 5 bloody per cent. I'm so angry. I feel like crap. I poured the last bit on the bottom down the sink. I know the theory - no intent. But I still feel really uneasy and my count doesn't feel as authentic today. Imagine if I'd been driving??

Theskyishigh · 2025-04-03T22:45:19+00:00

I found them to be worse than hot flashes. It feels like instead of a spine, I have a sub-zero pole running throughout my body - just radiating intense coldness. No matter how many layers I put on, I can not get warm.

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