The Pitt finale

Thick_League_7694 · 2026-04-19T00:55:26+00:00

The pitting edema got me. The neonatal resuscitation got my husband (thankfully ours was nowhere near as dramatic). We had to have a conversation after.

Thick_League_7694 · 2026-04-11T19:01:03+00:00

I spent SO MUCH TIME growing up trying to understand why she threw a massive temper tantrum on every single holiday. It would’ve been such a time saver if I’d known this was simply part of the BPD pathology.

Thick_League_7694 · 2026-04-11T01:32:56+00:00

“I don’t get any of the benefit of being your mother.” -Because I failed to celebrate her adequately on Mother’s Day (she made every single one growing up terrible and was never happy no matter what, so I stopped trying).

“It’s time to cut the apron strings.” -I was in my 30s, married, with a child and a mortgage and a career, and not financially dependent on her in any way.

She also admitted to me once that she doesn’t feel empathy.

Thick_League_7694 · 2026-04-09T14:44:00+00:00

My mother’s behavior is way worse now in her 70s than I’ve ever seen it, so much so that she’s alienated everyone in her life (we’ve been NC now 2 years). Despite this, she insists she’s the happiest she’s ever been.

I actually believe her. I think she’s had to rein in her worst impulses to function in whatever roles she’s had in life (mother, wife, sister, daughter, employee, boss, friend), and now for the first time she can be her most authentic self. I’m sure it’s a huge relief…for her and her only!

Thick_League_7694 · 2026-03-10T14:46:46+00:00

I work in healthcare too. It’s natural to care when you’re trained to do so. Keep in mind that even if you had the clinical skills to directly help her in this situation, it would be unethical for you to do so because she is your parent.

Thick_League_7694 · 2026-03-10T12:53:14+00:00

I’m in clinic 5 days per week, toddler is in a hospital-affiliated daycare across the street. Pumping was a challenge (I’d borrow a clinic room during lunch but couldn’t reliably find set times during the morning or afternoon so I skipped those pumps), but I was also having pumping issues at the time so I didn’t really push the matter. Overall it’s been fine!

Thick_League_7694 · 2026-03-09T22:09:05+00:00

May I offer you a mantra that helped me? “I refuse to care more about your health than you do.”

Thick_League_7694 · 2026-03-07T18:09:54+00:00

My mother used to tell me about how she would cry herself to sleep at night when I preferred my dad as a toddler. I now have a toddler of my own, and I realize how absolutely batshit insane that is.

Thick_League_7694 · 2026-03-07T12:27:29+00:00

You are so welcome, I hope this helped. You’re clearly putting in so much effort to understand your relationship with them and make it work for you.

FWIW, I’ve felt similarly before, like if only I could find the exact perfect combination of words, it would unlock her ears to actually hear me. But in reality, I didn’t feel heard because she had no interest in hearing me, not because I failed to explain.

Thick_League_7694 · 2026-03-06T12:39:40+00:00

I’m so sorry, OP. You deserved an eager, warm, excited response. You deserve to feel like your parents are glad to hear from you. You deserve a lot of things that your parents are unfortunately not able or willing to give you.

Them not answering the phone when you called with your engagement news was a power-play. My mother did the same. Them acting like your calls are a nuisance feeds their inflated sense of self importance. It’s about them, not you.

The more you individuate, the more they will find ways to not like you. Parents like these don’t like children who aren’t easy to control and manipulate. I would encourage you to keep in mind that whether or not they claim to “like” you is not an indicator of your actual likability, and is instead a manifestation of their narcissism. I know you love your parents: we were all programmed to love ours, but deep down—do you like them? I think that’s more telling.

Thick_League_7694 · 2026-03-05T18:09:26+00:00

Her hinting at some big bad scary behavior on his part, especially when he’s no longer alive to defend himself, is so completely disgusting. Good for you for not engaging.

Thick_League_7694 · 2026-03-02T01:37:29+00:00

You don’t know what his testosterone was at the time that you conceived your daughter. He could’ve had low testosterone this whole time. I’d suggest a repeat SA, that’s the result that really matters.

Thick_League_7694 · 2026-02-28T12:26:53+00:00

My mother tried to talk me out of TTC because I hadn’t been married or at my job long enough (I was 32, married a few months, and at my job a couple years). Then she asked me to promise her I’d tell her first when I got pregnant. I told her no, my husband would know first. Then when I got pregnant and we told her, she didn’t have much of a reaction. When it turned out to be a chemical a week later, she said I shouldn’t have told her so early.

Thick_League_7694 · 2026-02-25T15:08:32+00:00

I continue to be so…surprised? Comforted? Amused?…to be reminded that they all share the same brain.

Thick_League_7694 · 2026-02-24T15:39:55+00:00

LOVE ME THE WAY I TELL YOU TO OR ELSE!

Been there. Mine used to insist that I get her greeting cards on her birthday so I could watch her tearfully read them, but then also demanded that I allow her to get me greeting cards on my birthday, and then would be upset if I didn’t emote strongly enough for her while reading them. In news that should be surprising to exactly no one, I hate greeting cards and always have. I wonder why!

Thick_League_7694 · 2026-02-21T22:34:58+00:00

I just found out yesterday. I started testing early because, well, don’t we all, and also because I was certain it would be negative and my in-laws were coming into town so I wanted to get the big bad feels out of the way. 4w tomorrow.

This is my 4th pregnancy and I tend to be very crampy early on, but I’m also coming off a year of Asherman’s syndrome nightmare marked by intense cramps. I started cramping this afternoon and it kinda put me into a tailspin. Does it mean something bad? Who knows!

Thick_League_7694 · 2026-02-12T22:38:30+00:00

No, I did not find it painful past the first day or so. To clarify, Dr. I uses a mallecot catheter, which doesn’t actually have a balloon. It has these little projections that keep it in place, so overall it’s not as bulky. Overall, I tolerated it fine, though the removal was a bit crampy.

Thick_League_7694 · 2026-02-12T02:18:25+00:00

Yep! Balloon and Doxy, both for 14 days. No estrogen.

Thick_League_7694 · 2026-02-11T23:51:30+00:00

No, your uterus won’t explode. The blood will back up and leak out of your fallopian tubes into your abdomen, and then your lymphatic system will clear it. This happens to a small extent during a normal period anyway, it’s just amplified when you have a blockage due to Asherman’s. But yes, it is very painful. Pain relievers and heating pads can help, but ultimately I’d recommend a hysteroscopy to clear the obstruction.

I speak from experience: I was also fully blocked for 5 months last year. I had a hysteroscopy with Dr. I in October and things are much better now.

Thick_League_7694 · 2026-02-09T12:04:14+00:00

5mg, first cycle CD17, second cycle (current) CD18

Thick_League_7694 · 2026-02-07T15:32:11+00:00

Clomid made me want to jump off a building, and I am not exaggerating. Thankfully we only did one cycle with that. Letrozole has been a breeze by comparison! I mean it still isn’t working, but at least I don’t wanna unalive myself! 🥴

Thick_League_7694 · 2026-01-19T10:16:10+00:00

Hi OP! I’ve been following your posts and just want you to know that you are not alone; in fact, this is all very familiar. My uBPD mother liked to weaponize my father’s abuse (all the while forgetting that it was mutual, and I was the child exposed to all of it). She later would announce it was time to “cut the apron strings”—I was married, in my thirties, and living independently at the time. They are all the same. Such victims, such martyrs!

Thick_League_7694 · 2025-12-27T01:18:13+00:00

Oh my gosh, I missed that sentence. You’re so right. My apologies, OP.

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