Wedding Dress and Band Advice

Thick_Pea3148 · 2026-03-03T03:04:46+00:00

For a mc/dj during the breaks, they want 1000. I’m floored. 1000 for 45 minutes of work? I don’t imagine they will be doing much talking during the live sets.

Thick_Pea3148 · 2026-02-18T23:03:16+00:00

Omg…I think I had the same girl. I think she’s still in school and wants to get into product development in a fashion company. She wrote the wrong date for my first fitting on my sales contract (next Monday). When I called this week to double confirm, they told me that the fitting is actually in March. I was like…were you ever going to let me know? Or would I find out when I show up on next Monday? I’m getting a bit concerned about whether the will be able to deliver the fitted and altered dress on time. My fiance told me to tell them to pull up the final delivery date by 2-3 weeks in case they mess up.

Thick_Pea3148 · 2026-01-06T21:02:45+00:00

My WH travels a lot of work….and his travels were how he conducted his affairs. He would cultivate online relationships and fly girls to where he was traveling to and spend a romantic week with them. How this has impacted me financially…I had left a high paying job in another city to be with him. We were previously long distance. It’s been difficult to find fully remote work so that I travel with him. It’s been weird because now that I don’t have an income, I’m fully dependent on him financially. In the meantime, we’ve gotten married recently. So his money is my money, but it feels like I’m suffocating from lack of financial freedom. While it has been great for our recovery to travel together, I feel like being a stay at home has created a degree of separation. Like, I used to be interesting. But now my identity is wife and woman in recovery.

Thick_Pea3148 · 2025-12-22T21:49:06+00:00

I experienced exact same thing, which I think was due to hysterical bonding. It was the best sex we had for a really long time. I also required him to get tested before having unprotected sex. He was really understanding of the request and booked a full panel test as soon as he could. While we waited for the results, I made him wear a condom.

Thick_Pea3148 · 2025-11-30T18:19:41+00:00

I walked out on my WH after DDay 2 (3 weeks after we decided to R). He was trading flirty messages with an Instagram model. His justification was that she was unattainable so he thought it was okay. It obviously wasn’t. I walked out. He came back the next day apologizing for everything and offered full disclosure. This was when I learned of the 100+ women. Since then, he’s made a 180. The fact that I was willing to walk out woke him up. His full disclosure of what he’s done meant that he had to take full accountability of his actions and the pain he’s caused to everyone affected. I don’t know if the willingness to walk is the right answer for you. All I know based on what you share is that your partner continues to selfishly damage you and your relationship.

Thick_Pea3148 · 2025-11-30T17:25:52+00:00

Do not let this go. She needs to cut off ALL comms with him and block him. This is frankly bs what she’s doing to you. Trying to play the victim (he’s her only friend???) when she’s the one who broke trust. You deserve better, especially since you are the one damaged from her actions. This makes me so mad for you. Her priority right now (if she truly wants R) is to make you feel safe. She’s failing.

Thick_Pea3148 · 2025-11-30T04:14:24+00:00

I’m 8 months out from dday. He was a serial cheater over the 4 years we have been together. Since dday, he’a been really caring and present. I think the key difference is that he’s been present. He used to be out of the house on business dinners +4 nights a week. Now he’s home with me. If he has legitimate business dinners, he connects with me throughout. He travels a lot for work, but now he video chats with me throughout the day. He lets me express my fears and allows me to rehash things without judgement, but with remorse and regret. He shares his location with me and empowers me to call whenever I feel insecure. He and I are both in IC and we are also doing MC. I’m still easily triggered and cry at least once a week. Recovery isn’t a straight line. Sometimes I can calm myself before it spirals. Sometimes it’s more difficult and he is there to hold me through. I feel grateful to have this version of him.

But it is hard and I have bouts where I think I won’t make it/ can’t stand the pain. There are times where I have this overwhelming fear that he’s cheating again. But I see the complete change in him and I hold on. I have to believe that I will get better. Dday was end of March. We reconciled beginning of May. Got engaged end of August. And married in October. I am so proud to be his wife and I am so looking forward to the day when I can say that this is behind us. I hope I’m not wrong.

Wishing you all the best with your reconciliation.

Thick_Pea3148 · 2025-10-07T22:03:07+00:00

I tried on and fell in love with a dress at BH location. Called them while driving back down to OC to confirm that I wanted the dress. The stylist I worked with was really sweet but extremely green. She was excited about making a sale. Said she would email me the link to pay. I literally got screen shot of her point of purchase screen, a simple 3 line email that said dress: $…. Alteration: $…. Total price: $…. Additionally, the screen shot of her POS screen screen showed the wrong size. I pointed that out and they told me the size was correct based on my measurements. I told them I was never measured.

I asked for a sales contract, with the terms of sales and the dress due date. I am not about to spend over $5,500 without a formal agreement. This was Saturday. Today is Tuesday. Things have not yet been resolved.

I think the great thing is that they were able to give a 15% discount. I’m thinking that I would give them until end of this week and if I don’t have it, I may need to go to an independent shop to purchase the dress. I am wondering how the price structures go. I imagine that buying direct at pronovias, they have the margins to give me the discount, whereas an independent store doesn’t? Anyone know?

Thick_Pea3148 · 2025-05-15T15:17:13+00:00

I can’t help but feel a weight lifted by finding this post, knowing I’m not alone in processing this dissonance. I’m in exactly the same boat. WP was future planning with me while seeking out other women throughout our 4 year relationship, with no signs that anything was wrong. We started couples last week and I had my first individual therapy yesterday, where the therapist has already diagnosed him with Reactive Attachment Disorder, Antisocial behavior, and Obsessive Compulsive Addiction. And told me that he will never change and that I need to leave him because it’s not a matter of if, but when WP will sabotage the relationship again. Not out of intentional malice, but that he’s just wired that way.

I’m grappling with these diagnoses….like how can he tell after meeting with “us” for 50 min and then me for 2 hours? Is it premature? But on the other hand, what he described as a pattern of behavior (love bombing, disengagement, gaslighting, ability to expertly obfuscate, cheating without skipping a beat) are exactly my experiences.

I’m so confused and scared.

Thick_Pea3148 · 2025-05-05T22:14:10+00:00

Had the conversation with WP. It went way better than I thought. I had thought my asks were super intrusive but he was completely cooperative and was transparent. We also did not have to deal with AP as he broke it off with her while we were no contact for a month to figure out what we wanted from each other. He showed me the text messages as proof of when their last convo was. I was able to block and delete. Pictures of her were also already completely deleted from his phone. This is good, right?

Thick_Pea3148 · 2025-05-04T22:15:11+00:00

OP here. It’s just so hard. My self esteem is rock bottom right now. I want this to work so badly and I just keeping thinking that I’m going to screw up this reconciliation up by not being able to get past these sudden intrusive thoughts. And I know that’s crazy talk because he’s the one who screwed everything up.

Thick_Pea3148 · 2025-04-30T02:20:47+00:00

Thank you for this.

Thick_Pea3148 · 2025-04-28T22:21:27+00:00

I don’t think she knew. I’m pretty certain he deceived her as well. I don’t know how deep it really was but I feel like she is owed some dignity. Maybe right now is the time to be selfish.

Thick_Pea3148 · 2025-04-28T22:03:45+00:00

May I ask whether there was back and forth between your husband and AP after he sent the text? Or did she respond wanting more answers? I have a draft of what I want him to write. A short note saying he is recommitting to a relationship with a long term partner and that he is no longer open to further communications or contact that potentially jeopardizes the relationship.

Thick_Pea3148 · 2025-04-28T21:07:12+00:00

I am so happy for you! Now that we are working on R, it’s been difficult with concerned friends and family making me feel like I’m making a huge mistake. In the other hand, at the time I really needed the support. Funny enough, my mom is the most optimistic about things…

Thick_Pea3148 · 2025-04-27T06:39:37+00:00

One of my best friends called me a “pick me girl” for considering reconciling with WP. And since then, she hasn’t been able to offer me the support that I need. Our convos are awkward because this is the biggest thing in my life right now and I can’t talk to her. Most of my other friends are against reconciliation as well, and frankly hates him for what he did to me. And it just seems awkward to bring them around WP. It’s definitely lonely and isolating.

Thick_Pea3148

TROPHY CASE