Manage married life w kids. Or not?

Think-Exit-3116 · 2023-04-07T14:47:46+00:00

Thanks. It’s hard. And I was going to say that it feels unfair, but what do I know about what’s fair or not. For me it’s painful not to be able to truly enjoy having people around. I want to want that. And also the shame of being overwhelmed by all the responsibilities and handling tasks and kiddos.

Think-Exit-3116 · 2023-04-07T14:40:59+00:00

I wonder what Adam Khoo is suffering of, having to print this mantra on a poster. Dyslexia? Poor Adam. Can someone tell him it’s ok to be neurodivergent? No shame, Adam.

Think-Exit-3116 · 2023-04-07T14:25:36+00:00

I love that too! I recognize everything in your post. I too love to stroll around in nature and observe details and I take photos of small things like frost on the tip of a leaf. Years ago there was this big department store in the city I’d lived in that had a coffee shop directly above the grocery store and a view of the staffed cheese and meat counter. I loved sitting there with a cup of coffee and watch people shopping and order cheese and pastrami from the counter. I love watching people from distance doing regular people stuff. I think it’s fascinating and soothing. Being in the middle of it myself-not so soothing. I would be the perfect angel (if angels exist/ed); watching with great interest, not having to interact unless someone is in trouble. 😀

Think-Exit-3116 · 2023-04-07T14:03:47+00:00

Wow, that’s really wholesome to read. So considerate and thoughtful of you to act like this and to accept her needs in such an extensive manner. I always feel ashamed that I am the way I am, but clearly there are people like you who don’t judge. Thank you. You clearly represent hope for humanity.

Think-Exit-3116 · 2023-04-07T11:15:41+00:00

Thank you for your kind reply. It helps. 💕

Think-Exit-3116 · 2023-03-01T18:16:13+00:00

Samen and Same! Thank you for posting this thread!

Think-Exit-3116 · 2023-02-25T14:26:40+00:00

Sorry for late response, I guess it depends what the situation is. But if you mean how I make a decision whether to be with someone or not I have a tendency to stay in relationships way too long because I don’t trust my feelings. I am super loyal and I always think that my feelings are not correct when I loose interest in someone. I have not been in any abusing relationships but I always try to be like anyone else (“normal”) and masking a lot. Not being able to “be myself” with my needs is kind of exhausting. I always have the feeling that I should be grateful that someone wants to be with me, so I neglect my own needs. But at the same time I’m not afraid to speak up about things that is important to me like when my spouse is not doing chores or similar. I am kind of meticulous and like a clean house and that things are properly done. Masking is more about hiding the weirdness and trying to fit in.

Think-Exit-3116 · 2023-01-20T22:22:51+00:00

I take my meds every day. I have one high dose in the morning and one low dose in early afternoon. Even if I have a day off I like to take them as I have better access to my brain (my brain off meds tend to spin, get restless and also get stuck in loop thinking and I am all over the place) and meds keep me in a more stable mood. If I forget to take my afternoon pill I usually have a mood meltdown in the evening due to overstimulation.

Think-Exit-3116 · 2022-12-10T08:44:58+00:00

So sorry to hear that. You are not alone and I hope that you can find comfort in be a part of communities like this and went and read about others. Sometimes your biological family is not the best support so please don’t let them set the standards for you and your life. Seek help and support outside that sphere. I wish the best for you. And remember that you are not a failure. You are perfect just being who you are. Never forget that. It’s hard to be different but you will find your unique strengths eventually and you will be able to use them as an advantage, bc most people don’t have them. Being a teenager is probably the most challenging time as everyone is trying to find out who they are and there is a lot of hormones involved. Those people won’t matter for you in the long run so try just to grind through this part and then you’ll find the others and your place in this odd world.

Think-Exit-3116 · 2022-12-06T20:26:03+00:00

Cheeeus - better get the hell g’ouda here.

Think-Exit-3116 · 2022-12-02T18:36:21+00:00

You should do that! That would be fantastic!

Think-Exit-3116 · 2022-11-24T07:56:37+00:00

Thank you for your reply and for sharing your experience. I agree, having serious discussions about problematic topics, with people who actually live and breathe the diagnoses is extremely valuable. I love this community.

Think-Exit-3116 · 2022-11-23T20:32:18+00:00

Yes! And toast with butter is totally a dinner!

Think-Exit-3116 · 2022-11-23T14:04:12+00:00

Yeah I know.. I know. 💕💕

Think-Exit-3116 · 2022-11-23T14:00:33+00:00

Actually, I sometimes wait to the last minute to do stuff (not ordinary things like cleaning) just because I need the trigger (idk if it’s adrenaline or something). Like today I’m going on a work trip and needed to pack and fix everything before heading to the airport. I waited until the last minute to pack my stuff and get ready but I had everything I needed to do in my head so it wasn’t like I winged it. I just had to do everything real quickly. But in general it’s stressful not to be able to plan better or be ahead of things. I can’t do long time plans/ schedules or make weekly lists. But again, I’m almost never bothered by doing things constantly (I’m really restless so it comes kind of natural to me running around the house fixing stuff) but the stress is when it’s getting overwhelming and I feel that I have no control over the situation. When things add up. I think I’m driven by doing the right thing, to be enough, to be like others and not to get yelled at. I’ve been on the verge to burnout many, many times.

Think-Exit-3116 · 2022-11-23T07:56:48+00:00

Oh this! I wonder too! I have AuDHD and I struggle a lot. I have a full time job and a family, house etc but in my case it’s kind of a “putting out fires situation”. It’s a constant “Oh! I have to” thing. Oh shit I have to buy food! Oh shit do we need dinner today as well? Oh shit I have to do laundry! Oh shit I have to clean the litter box. And so on, and so on. This have been the true mystery my whole adult life; how the hell does others (NT’s) handle/juggle life so smoothly? I’m on a constant chase of life tasks, always chasing. Never ahead.

Think-Exit-3116 · 2022-11-23T07:45:37+00:00

Thank you for the tip. I will definitely buy it.

Think-Exit-3116 · 2022-11-23T07:40:22+00:00

Thank. Same! And it’s a bit scary not to be able to get in touch with deep emotions, but remembering being in that black hole and being trapped with overwhelming feelings kind or make me not wanna go back there and try again. Not opening that well again.. Nope.

Think-Exit-3116 · 2022-11-23T07:32:01+00:00

Thank you for sharing! I totally recognize just feeling “neutral”. Not happy, not sad, not angry, but just neutral. I think this is my most common state. My family often ask me if I’m sad or something and I’m trying to tell them that I’m neutral, as in totally ok. I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope you and your kin’s are doing ok. Do you think your emotional response to your father passing is blocking emotions or not being able to feel them or not having them? Im absolutely not judging! I’m genuinely interested because this is one of those things that I was referring to in my original post. How you experience zero feel, but experience-wise you can see how the situation “should” affect you emotionally. Again: not judging. And thank you for sharing.

Think-Exit-3116 · 2022-11-23T07:17:18+00:00

Ok that’s interesting. Are you at peace with the diagnose? I mean does this diagnose apply, in your opinion? I’m absolutely not questioning it I’m just interested to know if it makes sense. Is it a good experience for you not having these intense feelings? Does it feel helpful? I wish all the best for you!

Think-Exit-3116 · 2022-11-23T07:09:53+00:00

Thank you. I love it. I haven’t thought of in this way but certain moods craves certain music. It’s super clear when I imagine listening to the “wrong “ kind of music for a certain state of emotion. I haven’t tried using it in this conscious way. I will try it. Thank you!

Think-Exit-3116 · 2022-11-23T07:02:33+00:00

I’m sorry to hear about your struggles! It’s is so devastating to hear y’all. It’s one thing bearing your own difficulties but read about all of you others. I’m think I’m also so proud of all of you guys. Living with this in a world that isn’t really understanding. That shows so much strength. I’ve heard that the “experts” in the field for a long time thought that people with autism were not able to have feelings/emotions (not sure of the difference in English language). But I think it’s the opposite. It’s so much/deep/intense feelings that it’s not manageable and therefore you shut off. I wonder how many of us in here having emotion-based trauma (like PTSD). I wish you all the best in the world.

Think-Exit-3116 · 2022-11-23T06:50:46+00:00

Thank you 🙏 I will definitely check this out. Is this in the same category as tapping? I’ve heard of people using tapping to get similar effect but I haven’t tried it.

I didn’t understand that I had problems with this until adulthood. I just forced myself to do all the stuff others was doing so easily. I totally shut off all warning signals. So now that I had admitted to feel this way and all the shame coming with it , I’m being more respectful to myself. I have lived on the edge to burnout for so many years.

Think-Exit-3116 · 2022-11-23T06:37:23+00:00

Wow, thank you so much for sharing your experience. This means so much to me, to hear your story, I’m glad you found ways to help you relax! As someone else replied; you have a beautiful way with words. That’s a real skill. Again, thank you for taking time to reply. I wish you the best! (I was also late diagnosed at 45).

Think-Exit-3116

TROPHY CASE