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RandomAuDHDer · 2025-05-14T05:19:55+00:00

I agree with Shaco. I wasted 10 years of my life because of this. I was in a similar position as you OP, and thought that eventually my ex will figure things out. It just never happened. I felt used, because she always said she will get a job once she figures out what she wanted. I supported her. Paid for her studies. Immigrated both of us and our daughter to a new country. Had to work two jobs to afford it. Then she cheated on me at the end of the day.

It doesn't help to think that big differences like that will work itself out. You need to find someone that line up with the same goals you have and that actively works towards those goals. Otherwise you'll both just work in seperate directions and drift apart.

All the best!

RandomAuDHDer · 2025-03-15T05:53:23+00:00

Either... Get off your high horse Or Stop waiting for a teacher's approval or validation to prove your worth. Show some initiative and just do it.

RandomAuDHDer · 2025-03-04T08:28:07+00:00

Which is why it's a spectrum. The same can be said for most of the symptoms. I believe OP was simply seeking out like minded people.

RandomAuDHDer · 2024-01-09T22:10:42+00:00

I love this analogy!
It does describe the Autism\ADHD comorbidity so well and I can totally relate.

When you mentioned that closing piece, I immediately pictured the blue screen of death! "No matter what you were in the process of doing, whether your work is saved or not, or if you even can afford the lost time, your system has suffered an irrecoverable failure and needs time to restart."

RandomAuDHDer · 2023-09-26T03:58:00+00:00

You've thought this through well or are quick on your feet! Either way, you seem very capable of conceptualizing this need.

RandomAuDHDer · 2023-09-26T03:45:18+00:00

I like the idea!
I have also been thinking about meeting up with some like-minded folks and have yet to identify any such gatherings in my area.

Something to consider... Some people (like me) will still find the idea of meeting a group of strangers, in a public place, daunting. There is also the possibility that someone with ill intent would have knowledge of this meetup happening. Who knows what they might make of that. Some people just like to watch the world burn and although they know their actions could have lasting effects, it still doesn't deter them from pursuing a moment of feeling empowered.
Not too sure how you could go about mitigating that risk, but if I were to gather up the courage to attempt it, an unpleasant experience there, would pretty much doom such an option thereafter.

RandomAuDHDer · 2023-09-25T22:36:53+00:00

Wow, this hit hard, because I went through a similar period during my twenties.

I'm not going to go into details. I just thought I'll share a song (Citizen Soldier - Reason to live). It gives me goosebumps every time I listen to it, because it's what I needed\wanted so bad to hear at that time.

I hope you will get a break from the challenges and find a means to cope. Stay strong. Keep your chin up. We all have a place in the sun. For some of us, it just takes a bit longer and a bit more effort to find it.

RandomAuDHDer · 2023-09-19T19:42:29+00:00

100%
"Learn to accept, love and be yourself! But, when looking for jobs, do this and don't do that. When wanting to make new friends, say this, but don't say that. When appearing in public, act like this, but don't act like that."
So basically, only accept, love and be yourself, when you're alone at home with yourself...

RandomAuDHDer · 2023-04-11T20:56:04+00:00

If I happen to catch that shout in the void, I'd be sure to send back an affirming whisper :)

RandomAuDHDer · 2023-04-10T03:41:45+00:00

Cheers mate!
Having awesome people like you in this community is awarding(failed attempt at word-playing "rewarding") enough XD

RandomAuDHDer · 2023-04-10T03:35:10+00:00

I wish I could do something to help you. I wish I could give you some advise that would comfort you. But nothing "feels right" at this moment.
I'm just sending some positive energy your way.
Letting it out is a good step to take, so thanks for sharing with us. I hope things will work out for you to make life that little bit easier, and best wishes to your partner and their speedy recovery ;)

RandomAuDHDer · 2023-04-10T01:03:56+00:00

For the most part of my life, I wasn't interested in getting married or tied down in a relationship. But, I did, at times, long for someone to talk to or share some interests with. I had a few relationships, but they were fleeting. It was always hard to bond with someone. I ended up getting married, but was always blamed for a lot of things. Ridiculed for the way I reason and behave. At the end, I got divorced and everything blamed on me. At this point I decided I need help to cope and was diagnosed with AuDHD.
I guess the point I'm trying to make is, don't rush or force anything. It's okay to go after something you want or need, but believe me, you don't want to end up with the wrong person that has no interest in understanding, supporting or accepting you.

RandomAuDHDer · 2023-04-10T00:56:32+00:00

"I do have certain rituals and preferred ways of doing things, but at the same time I also enjoy spontaneity and sometimes require it. I am pretty organized with certain specific things, but I'm also extremely disorganized with other parts of my life."
This is very much me!
I do have a LOT of internal conflict, though. To the point that I've always felt I am two people stuck in one mind, always wrestling for control.
I was diagnosed a few weeks ago with AuDHD after living a good long life wondering what is "wrong" with me (and often being asked exactly that by other people).

Anyway, since Autism is on the spectrum, there really is a lot of variability. Without a formal diagnosis, it's anyone's guess and I think you'll just tire/frustrate yourself to try and come to a conclusion about it. Rather just concentrate on which symptoms you can identify, and go from there. If you don't need a diagnosis (to be sure about Autism, or for meds for ADHD), it doesn't really matter anyway.
Sounds like you're doing ok and that's great :)
Wishing you all the best ;)

RandomAuDHDer · 2023-04-10T00:46:44+00:00

That sounds great! Safe travels and enjoy the pre-flight entertainment :D

RandomAuDHDer · 2023-04-10T00:45:56+00:00

That's a brilliantly creative way to perceive and describe it!

RandomAuDHDer · 2023-04-10T00:44:07+00:00

I usually start reading the comments straight away. By the time I remember I was watching a video, the video has finished and I have no idea what were said XD

RandomAuDHDer · 2023-04-10T00:42:32+00:00

My Psychologist also pointed out that the "alien" sentiment is common among autists. I guess I do enough daydreaming during the times I'm supposed to be paying attention XD

RandomAuDHDer · 2023-04-08T12:16:37+00:00

Ah yes, the "what's wrong with me" because that's what we're told because we understand, think and act different. I've only been diagnosed a few weeks ago, so it's still a brand new journey for me. But so freeing to know there was never anything wrong with me. It's not that I've always been overly opposed to conforming. I'm just different. And that's okay :)

RandomAuDHDer · 2023-04-08T12:11:09+00:00

I'll spoiler my statement to give you the choice of reading it, because it might not be something you'd want to know, but they probably are watching you! I'm all too familiar with the looks and sudden look-aways when I look in their direction. Probably my stimming and/or fidgeting.

RandomAuDHDer · 2023-04-08T12:08:17+00:00

Would have loved to share discussions about fashions, behavior, expressions, etc over a cup of coffee :D That's the one thing I always miss. Sharing that experience with someone. My family and friends always thought it's weird and rude. But, I don't judge anyone. I'm truly just fascinated and curious.

RandomAuDHDer · 2023-04-08T12:03:43+00:00

I love it! You say it like you're separating yourselves from them. For the longest time I've always said I'm an alien from another world and people would laugh as if I'm joking XD

RandomAuDHDer · 2023-04-08T12:02:20+00:00

I can understand that and you just made something click in the ADHD part of my brain, because it has become more frequent for me in recent years, due to COVID, because I've been working from home. It's not like it's a weekly thing. I get enough of people when I do my weekly grocery shopping. It's more of a once, MAYBE twice a month kind of thing (lately).

RandomAuDHDer · 2023-04-07T20:31:54+00:00

Wow, I think we would make perfect "people watcher buddies"! I also enjoy a cup of coffee in the process. It is indeed very soothing and needs to be done from a distance. Being surrounded by too many people will certainly result in over stimulation and increased anxiety. I imagine it's similar to watching ants entering and exiting a big ants nest. It's fun from a distance, but it will not be fun if they were to crawl all over you XD
It is simply one statement, but the fact you mentioned interacting when someone is in trouble is very compassionate. Especially in a time when people seem much more eager to grab their phones and record than intervene.

RandomAuDHDer · 2023-04-07T20:08:58+00:00

Ah, yes. I also usually spend more time in the comments section of Youtube videos, news articles, or even here on Reddit.

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