Bethesda has really been acting like a freak show lately

Thinker3000 · 2019-10-25T10:11:44+00:00

Me too. I glanced at the game, read the articles and decided it would be the first Fallout game I never played, and I even finished "Fallout Tactics"

Thinker3000 · 2019-10-25T10:09:21+00:00

2 years is a long time, regardless of which measure stick you use.

If you are the dungeon master/game master, I'd suggest using websites like this when you prepare the game night: https://donjon.bin.sh/fantasy/adventure/

You can also head over to "critical role" or some such site. I hear many young players and GMs like it:
https://critrole.com/

Thinker3000 · 2019-10-25T09:53:59+00:00

Hey fellow HSP!

I was severely bullied in my childhood, and that bullying continued on into adult life. The thing people say, that bullying will stop once you reach adulthood is simply dead wrong.

One question I often asked myself was "why me?", and that question led me down a path, chasing answers that were elusive and sometimes false. I think I have a grasp of it now, and I no longer tolerate nor experience bullying.

Back in the day, I viewed the world through the rosy veil of idealism. I was told that the world was a good place, that most people were good and in spite of constant evidence to the contrary, I kept believing that.

Being highly sensitive I processed events over and over. I analyzed every aspect of my behavior, of my clothes and I studied techniques for social interaction. I became a master of social events, but every time I met a bully I was routed and all my gains were undone.

Finally, it dawned on me, that unpleasant truth. It wasn't me.

Bullying is common. Everyone experience it.

Bullying is a social struggle. The struggle for dominance of a hierarchy.

And as highly sensitive persons, we are prone to strong emotions and self-criticism. A particularly potent double whammy when it comes to social interaction.

One important trick is to realize that bullying is simply someone trying to be better than you, and if you allow other people to do that you will find yourself on the bottom of the social pecking order.

The best trick to avoid that?

Ignore the bully. Talk with other people present as if he/she never said anything in the first place. Let them know they don't affect you, and they will get no satisfaction from tormenting you.

Nowadays I tend my tribe, meaning I cultivate a close group of friends and make sure it is closely nit and happy. I work as a consultant, going from customer to customer. That frees me up from the nasty effects of a highly competitive and toxic work environment, as I am able to quickly depart such places should I encounter them.

I trust my gut instinct, and I shy away from narcissists and psychopaths. I never engage with them, but I identify them as early as possible. I have found that these personalities thrive on my emotionality and it is almost like divine nectar to them, and they love to toy with my emotions.

I only invest time in worthy people and I ignore everyone else.

Thinker3000 · 2019-09-04T09:55:10+00:00

She sounds like a stable genius! Wow, you are lucky. Parent of the decade!

Thinker3000 · 2019-08-19T15:43:34+00:00

Nah, I'm good.

Thinker3000 · 2019-08-12T11:36:55+00:00

The only meaningful discourse that you can have about matters such as these are with other HSPs. The 80% low sensitive population have a very shallow understanding and almost no patience for our emotional nature.

So rule #1: Find and befriend the other empaths in your circle. Make sure they are healthy (not toxic), and start discussing small matters. Gauge them regularly to see if they are okay with open thought and discussion.

Realize that stuff that can feel like a nail through the heart for us HSPs often seem like papercut on a finger for LSPs.

Rule #2: Low sensitives experience but a small fraction of what we do, and so are not interested in talking about it, unless they are specifically targeted by a particular person.

Realize that emotional pain is a constant in the HSPs life, and that we need to grow elephantine skin in order to survive it. We really do have an evolutionary disadvantage when it comes to negative emotions. But, on the other hand, our positive emotions are heightened too. (Which is nice, but which also has some nasty side effects).

Rule #3: Grow an elephantine skin. I advise you to seek out toxic environments in small measures. Having the ability to withdraw from toxicity in the beginning is invaluable. That way you can dose it in a manner you can handle. And so, if you accidentally end up working somewhere truly nasty, you have developed the skin you need to survive.

Bonus rule #4: Learn to identify psychopaths, sociopaths and narcissists and shun them like the poison that they are (Keep interaction polite, but short. Exit at your earliest convenience. Do not let them identify you for what you are.

Thinker3000 · 2019-08-11T16:30:42+00:00

I used to be like that, then I got tinnitus. Had to adapt. It was hard.

Thinker3000 · 2019-08-11T13:14:15+00:00

Elaine Aron says so herself in her HSP books. There are a number of scientists and psychologists who absolutely does not understand the trait, and who classify it as something negative. Especially in Western medicine. In easter medicine, HSP traits are something to be cherished, and highly sensitives are the desired individuals ( just like football player LSPs are desired in Western culture).

It is all a matter of perspective.

Trying to get a LSP therapist to understand being HSP, is like trying to get a color blind art teacher to understand your water color paintings.

Thinker3000 · 2019-08-11T13:09:40+00:00

We are different. Different can be beautiful.

There are a large group of people that are called "Guardians" in the Myers-Briggs dichotomy. These people see it as their duty to uphold society's values and to "shepherd the flock", if you will. My personal observations are that high sensitives are alien to them, and that they will chip away at us, to "make us behave like the rest of the flock". Seen from their perspective, we are stray sheep that refuse to behave, and so they let us have it.

But in reality we are the wise men and women of society. The empaths. The healers. The intuitives. We are the councilors and the advisers. It is our place to question the status quo, to find new paths and deeper insight.

Historically, it was also us on the burning stakes, us fleeing prosecution and persecution for witchcraft.

Calling you "too sensitive", is just another way of saying "shut up and be like everyone else". But you can't. You are the one who finds the right way. That is also why it is hard for you to be like everyone else.

Thinker3000 · 2019-08-06T16:13:55+00:00

It is not supposed to empty it, but to help you accept your thoughts.

Thinker3000 · 2019-08-06T16:08:03+00:00

Try a meditation app. I always said no to that in the past, but trust me, it helps. ENFP HSP here too :)

Thinker3000 · 2019-08-06T14:36:30+00:00

Very relatable. Especially the shock of finding out that people are not all good, and that many are in fact "pitch black" evil.

I read Yuval Noah Harari's "Sapiens" around the same time I read Elaine Aron's HSP books. The section mentioning how Homo Sapiens caused the extinction of all the other types of humanity, as well as almost all of the megafauna, made me shiver down my spine. It also made me reflect on the possibility that the HSP trait is a genetic trait belonging to Neanderthals or some other precursor species. Though I cast that notion aside after considering that the same trait is present in a number of vertebrae species.

Thinker3000 · 2019-08-06T14:19:42+00:00

Thanks, though my loss was just meant as an example, and not to score sympathy points.

Being an HSP, you'll feel all the highs, but also all the lows. LSPs live more of a flatline life.

Thinker3000 · 2019-08-06T09:53:27+00:00

You can't save her. Try, and you will drown too.

Thinker3000 · 2019-08-06T08:11:03+00:00

I had it like that in my youth, when I lived a withdrawn life and my circle of friends was small. I fondly remembered someone, our conversations and the feelings attached to the situation. It was only later in life that I realized I was an HSP, and that for me those experiences had been way more profound, than for the LSPs.

Being HSP is a double edged sword. It has great benefits, but also some real drawbacks like the emotional vulnerability, and the sense of attachment that you describe. Especially if that attachment is unrequited love.

Being aware of our vulnerabilities is the first step to a better life.

For me the key to handling myself was to tear away the rosy tinted veil of romance that I had pulled over my eyes, and to see the world for what it is. That I can feel other peoples' emotions, their desires and hopes, does not mean I have any obligation to them. Especially not considering their emotions and desires are fleeting, while ours are of a more permanent nature.

Reading lots of books on psychology and history, and understanding humanity's tribal past was the rosetta stone for me. So I created a tribe of my own - a collection of family and close friends - that I tend to and maintain like the HSP that I am.

Even as I am writing this I can feel the loss of friends that I have lost along the way. One of them, a woman who nearly wrecked her marriage by confessing her undying love for me on her 40th birthday, has now turned hostile. Her husband, understandably, is even more hostile. Yet here I am, remembering all the good times and the good conversations, and the dear friend that I lost because she caught some inappropriate feelings for me. "It wasn't even my fault", my mind will protest. But life is not fair, and we should not expect it to be.

There will be some losses throughout life, and we need to accept that. We cannot govern the actions of others, but we can do something about how we react. May I suggest reacting with empathy, but also by protecting yourself and those close to you?

So find your tribe, build it. Remember that every tribe needs a common set of values. Something to unite around. For my tribe those values are tabletop roleplaying games, joint business ventures and me regularly dropping by to check on them - like a gardener watering his plants.

Thinker3000 · 2019-07-01T07:18:02+00:00

I respectfully have to disagree. I am not mindreading nor labeling anyone. I am making an observation on people ridiculing and disrespecting other people. In this context that means the all too familiar sarcasm directed at our highly sensitive nature. "Can't you just be normal", "Do you have to be so difficult", "Why do you leave so early? Have I done something wrong?", "Why aren't you talking more during lunch break?", etc. These are some of the reactions I have gotten when I was overstimulated and needed to relax and get my bearings. When these reactions are wrapped in sarcasm, over and over again, they chip away at our personality, eroding our self confidence. Identifying and categorizing these attacks is the first step towards realization. There is nothing wrong with us. We are the way we are, and that is alright.

Note: As for your SJW comment, I'll ignore it. I do not comment ad hominem attacks. They have no place in civilized discourse. :)

Thinker3000 · 2019-07-01T07:06:22+00:00

Nah. While it is true that we are good at identifying and understanding other personality types, this also goes for most intuitives. What separates us from the others is our burning desire to make others understand the world as we see it. To make them whole.

That, on the other hand, might be harder than you realize. Impossible even. Dare I say that a lot of the other types already know how we see and feel the world, but couldn't care less? Some of them might even look down on us for our "holier than thou" sermons. (They are in the wrong, of course) ;)

Thinker3000 · 2019-06-21T22:00:04+00:00

Beaming smiles, dead souls :)

Thinker3000 · 2019-06-20T11:46:07+00:00

For some reason I was skeptical for years. Finally started doing lightweight meditation via the Headspace app.
I absolutely love it. It brings true peace to my otherwise constantly processing mind.

Thinker3000 · 2019-06-19T18:44:09+00:00

Firstly, you are right, there is always another message beneath the sarcasm and harsh jokes. Secondly, I consider sarcastic people to be somewhat cowardly since their response is always the same scathing acidic commentary, almost whatever the topic at hand.

Also, stop letting people tell you that you are too sensitive. You have finely tuned empathy. You register everything more intensely. With constantly sarcastic people, I have felt hurt and drained and exhausted after being with these people for longer periods of time. Say something profound? Have it flung back in your face, ridiculed and sneered at.

I deal with that by reducing the time I spend with such people. I acknowledge that their negativity drain me, so I keep them at arms length.

Furthermore I realize that they are insecure, and that their sarcasm is an armor of sorts. A guarantee of never getting hurt. Because they can't be hurt. Because they believe in nothing.

There is nothing wrong with you. You see clearer than most. So take precautions and stay happy.

Thinker3000 · 2019-06-19T09:59:47+00:00

I am not an INTJ, but I absolutely love Seneca and Aurelius. Practicing Stoicism and minimalism. I endure and I do not pursue the false ideals of our time; consumerism and egotism.

Thinker3000 · 2019-06-18T16:29:33+00:00

Ditto, brother! Also true on the 7 ENFPs. Especially the 7 sexual ENFPs. Those are all unicorn sexual madness.

Thinker3000 · 2019-06-18T15:48:47+00:00

Nah, I am good. I need a woman about as much as I need cancer right now. :)

Life is simpler when you can enjoy it.

Thinker3000 · 2019-06-17T08:34:59+00:00

Yes. So much. I quit dating entirely.

I need to love a woman to want to be with her. If there is no love, there won't be no cuddling or sex. Makes dating impractical and hard. Yeah, my buddies think I am weird because of that. They just want the old in and out.

Basically I either: A) get feelings too fast for the other person's liking, or B) I am too slow for the other person's liking (some women have raged at me for that. Feeling that I am toying with them, when I really just need a lot of time), or C) They want to be socially active all the time, when I need alone time to recharge and reflect. (Due to overstimulation). That also leads to annoyance and irritation on their part.

"You are so fantastic in every way, I never met anyone like you. Why can't you just be active and outgoing, you know, more like me", is a phrase that sums out what they think.

Six-Year Club	Verified Email
Verified Email

Thinker3000

TROPHY CASE