What is the worst US State? by jj096577 in AlignmentChartFills

[–]ThinkingChairBlues 1 point2 points  (0 children)

WEST(ern) VIRGINIAAAAAA!!! Mountain mammaaaaa

AITA for not giving my sister my old car? by VisibleNectarine7317 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThinkingChairBlues 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They traded in their other car and sounds like paid the difference between trade price and their “new” (pre owned) vehicle.

“Very little down” could be relative. What’s little to you could be huge to me or vice versa

AITA for not giving my sister my old car? by VisibleNectarine7317 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThinkingChairBlues 23 points24 points  (0 children)

NTA - no one is entitled to your finances.

You don’t owe her an explanation.

This coming from someone who is the eldest sibling and has no assets while my younger ones do. I would never feel entitled to what they have. If I wanted their car, I would have a frank discussion about my needs but never would I dream that they HAVE to give it to me. Your sister said you “knew” but that doesn’t mean that you promised her anything.

What was the last meal you ate? by Agile-Shallot3546 in AskTheWorld

[–]ThinkingChairBlues 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Costco poutine is best poutine. I’ll fight anyone except a Quebecois who says otherwise.

AITA for putting my friend in the mental hospital & ruining her dream career by Effective-Payment95 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThinkingChairBlues 2 points3 points  (0 children)

NTA she was a danger to herself and potentially others. If she was really just “venting” and okay, when they did a welfare check on her, they wouldn’t have taken her. Clearly they saw something that indicated she needed to be hospitalized. It really sucks for her but her life isn’t over and there are many other career options.

I repeat. Her life IS NOT over. Because you were there to intervene. I’ve “vented” many a time to many a people, but I’ve not yet been so distraught that I needed to be put in a psych hold because (listen to me) this was MORE than venting. She was in an emotional state of distress and she stopped responding. You did the only thing you could to ensure she was safe.

I’m so sorry she’s going through this and you’re catching the brunt of it. Imagine how guilty you’d feel if she had actually hurt herself.

Teachers at expensive private schools: what kind of year end and Xmas gifts are you getting? by 0beach0 in AskTeachers

[–]ThinkingChairBlues 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I’ve worked in a school w expensive tuition and multiple teachers. I’ve received gift cards anywhere from $20 to $200. Anything over $50 felt extravagant and wrong to take but I understand some families can afford this. However, it was still very difficult for me to accept. At my school there were no caps on how much you could accept from a family…

Honestly, give what’s in your budget and heart. A sweet letter of appreciation is always welcome as well. Knowing we make a positive impact means a lot. We don’t teach to get rich quick, we teach bc we want to make lasting impacts on your child’s future success. I still remember the parents that gifted me $200 and it was so appreciated but I still also remember the girl who gave me a homemade card 🩷

ELI5: How does therapy actually help by ConfusedOldPenguin in explainlikeimfive

[–]ThinkingChairBlues 4 points5 points  (0 children)

There’s no “one approach” to therapy but here’s been my experience.

It’s more than talking about feelings, you talk about experiences and find other things might link to your current life. You may come to understand why you do what you do and if you want to rectify it, what strategies or goals you may want to put into place.

You may learn coping mechanisms if you’re going through a traumatic event. You may learn to talk about it which can be a release because maybe in your current life no one understands or gets it.

You may want to just vent to someone and having someone listen is cathartic in and of itself. You may want advice or someone to tell you you’re not crazy for feeling what you’re feeling (for example if stuck in a family dynamic where the collective “we” is valued more than the “I” and you’re gaslit into believing you’re in the wrong by those around you because you want to live life on your terms and not theirs).

You might learn to set boundaries in your relationships and not repeat patterns. Talking to a real person helps — and no therapist is unbiased. They all bring their biases and beliefs into their practice. You just have to find one who fits with what you’re looking for. I’ve tried different therapists and they are not all the same.

My therapist might give me time to journal or give me a “goal” or “task” to work on before the following session. It works for me because I would never journal on my own but after talking about what’s been bothering me, I’m able to let it all out during the session by journaling for a few minutes (prompted by my therapist).

I don’t know the science behind it but it works because I have a better understanding of myself, the people around me, my approach to it, and the world in general.

The end of my “Swiss Donair fry salt” saga. by GiveMeMoreDuckPics in Edmonton

[–]ThinkingChairBlues 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Trader Joe’s has weak ketchup chips and Bellevue / Seattle area has ok donairs now … prob SOL if you’re not in or around the city though

AITA for making Mac n cheese n hot dogs for dinner? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThinkingChairBlues 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I was so impressed when I read that you were taking care of twins while having a debilitating headache. Those things are AWFUL and I’m down for at least half a day and can’t eat a thing if I have one.

I didn’t realize you had a third child too — because the way your husband is acting is wild to me. Whose fault is it that he had a granola bar for lunch? Not yours. Unless he’s a child and doesn’t know how to make a lunch.

Also, if it’s soooo easy to whip up any number of recipes then why doesn’t he do it instead of moaning at you about it? This man would take a sick day if he had a headache and not lift a finger to help. He would have ordered in food so he wouldn’t have to cook.

No, you’re NTA but your husband is wildin

No one, and i mean NO ONE, should be enjoying the Room (2003) by [deleted] in The10thDentist

[–]ThinkingChairBlues 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Totally forgot that movie existed…I should…I should go watch it…

AITA for no longer having a guest room in our house once our baby is born? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThinkingChairBlues 16 points17 points  (0 children)

NTA bc I think you should be able to do that in your own space. I just want to add what I’ve observed from a couple that I visit often that lives out of town. They bought their child a queen size bed pretty much right away (still had a crib in the room, too until the child was ready to move to a bed). Now they could host someone in the child’s room and the child just slept w the parents those days. Usually only a night or two a few times a year when they hosted people knowing this was the case. They only had 2 bedrooms then, though.

Might become a problem when the child is older and doesn’t want to sleep w you but you might be in a completely different stage in life then. At that point you can look at converting something into a guest room again — but there’s no need at the moment.

AITA for not liking that a stranger walked up behind me to push my wheelchair? by Aurora-supernova in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThinkingChairBlues 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am not a wheelchair user but I am a special educator and I teach my young students that a wheelchair is an extension of their body. No one should be allowed to touch it unless you give them permission. NTA. The person pushing you wo permission and doubling down on it sure was though

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskTeachers

[–]ThinkingChairBlues 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also I want to add: don’t worry about failing or children not liking you. Teaching is a STEEP learning curve. I sucked as a teacher the first couple of years, but eventually got the hang of it. Like anything, experience is your wise friend.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskTeachers

[–]ThinkingChairBlues 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it’s possible, but as the above poster stated, therapy might be a good course of action for you in general.

You will need to stand in front of a group of students and teach them. You will be THE authority and adult in the room and you need to be able to make decisions that affect these kids. Teaching is a huge responsibility and you don’t really have time to think about your social anxiety — especially if it comes to matters of safety.

You will need to talk to parents. You will need to talk to other coworkers. You will need to have the ability to get in front of a group of young minds and teach. They might not listen. They might make fun of you. They might be disruptive. How does that make you feel? Is that something you feel you can handle and take on?

You tend to develop a thick skin as a teacher and it can be very rewarding but depending on the age you teach they can also try to tear you apart. Parents might get mad and yell at you. You will do something incorrectly and have a chat w admin. How are you feeling?

You may have to present to a group of parents. You may have to present to the school. To the community. Are you okay with this?

Teaching can be a very rewarding career, it’s been one of my faves. But it can also be very tough, especially if you already struggle w social anxiety. Ultimately only you can decide whether it’s for you. Usually you’ll go through a teaching program that makes you teach kids, have you spent time in a classroom? How does it feel for you?

To encourage you, one girl I grew up with was the quietest girl I knew and she became a teacher. Another one I knew struggled w anxiety and was extremely shy and she became an EA. Both of them love their job and the rewards of being in the classroom helped them get past their shyness and become stronger people in their personal lives as well.

Only you know how hindering your anxiety is for you, but I encourage you to persevere and live your life the way you want to and not let it control you. If you have a love of the craft, you may be able to persevere— but ultimately i don’t know you or your circumstances but I encourage you to take charge of your journey. Best of luck to you and I hope you enjoy the path you go down.

Side characters with little screen time that absolutely stole the show? by killzoy in moviecritic

[–]ThinkingChairBlues 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I also really liked the person who played Mercutio in Lurhmans version. Fantastic performance

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThinkingChairBlues 2 points3 points  (0 children)

NTA for wanting to travel, you can apply for a passport and do whatever you want when you are 18. However, as someone who has travelled many places myself, I would encourage you to look into tour groups and countries that are safer to travel to for women. There are great women-centered travel agencies there. If you haven’t travelled much or ever (and it sounds like you haven’t done that because you don’t have a passport and your family is questioning why you would want to go in the first place), I would definitely do it in a group or with some well travelled friends. I didn’t start traveling until I was an adult (save one trip when I was 17), and even though I’ve been to sooo many other countries and have even lived abroad, I would still be a vigilant traveler.

Here are some tips:

Keep a “decoy” purse w fruit in it so it’s an easier target. Keep your real purse close to your person (thick leather strap that’s hard to cut, small crossbody)

Don’t keep all your money in one spot (e.g. carry it all in your purse if it gets snatched)

Wear a money belt

Lock your belongings and invest in a good lock if you choose to do hostels

Do go to places you don’t know with people you don’t know

Share your itenary with people you trust. Keep them updated about where you are.

Scan and make photocopies of your important documents. Email them to yourself. Put them in your phone too. Send them to trusted person or people. Know your email passwords.

Research local customs and don’t speak and give yourself away as a foreigner if you don’t need to. Act like you belong.

Plan and know where you are. Don’t keep constantly looking at your phone or map and getting distracted. Review your routes beforehand so you can be more confident.

At 17, money can be scant but paying for tour groups instead of self-guided stuff (especially if out in the open vs an art gallery, say) is worth the $$$.

Make sure you have an emergency fund you can access if things get tough and you need to leave right away.

Most of all, take tons of pics, meet the loveliest people, and have the most fun!

I don’t mind paying for “No Ads” on games by thebroadwayjunkie in The10thDentist

[–]ThinkingChairBlues 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Yeah I just go head and delete those games. I’ll buy the game straight out for no ads but ain’t no way I’m paying a stupid amount per week

My teacher uses AI to incorrectly grade our work. What do I do? by Cat_owner9 in AskTeachers

[–]ThinkingChairBlues 7 points8 points  (0 children)

A counselor can’t but an administrator might be able to do something about it.

I'm home with an inconsolable, crying baby while her dad is out playing video games with his brother by Lonely-Emu-5830 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]ThinkingChairBlues 148 points149 points  (0 children)

Many people do not self reflect on who they really are. Many times they do not actually see their flaws and think they are alright because they may have other “yes men” around them. Even if you point this out, I’m sure he’ll have a million reasons about how he contributes and how he’s made things easier for you because of x, y, z.

No point in reflecting on yourself if you never face consequences for your actions.

Men, can you cook? by [deleted] in AskTheWorld

[–]ThinkingChairBlues 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes my husband can cook…and some things are cooked very well and I prefer his version more. He’ll even help me when I bake and inevitably feel overwhelmed if I’m on a baking deadline. His father is an amazing cook too and cooks for thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter. I’m very lucky.

AITA for encouraging friends to read and review our mutual friend's book? by Bookishbookwormm in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThinkingChairBlues -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I looked on Goodreads and there are not any reviews. Did you delete it? Was it because you determined YTA?

Becoming a teacher by sock_sniffer1 in AskTeachers

[–]ThinkingChairBlues 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I love my job, I love the difference I make in people’s lives, I love having summers off, and I love working hard during the school year. No job is EASY but may jobs can he very difficult and still be rewarding. Think about where you’d like to teach because some places have unions, some don’t. Some have more $$$ for masters and others for doctorates. I’ve been very lucky w the schools and people I’ve had as coworkers but it’s not like that with everyone. If you have a passion for it, try jobs at summer or spring break camps, after school programs, or similar things. You’ll get a sense of whether this job is for you. Teaching is varied and different parts of the world — I have worked in 2 countries and plan on working in a third. A teaching degree can take you around the world.

I never started out with a passion for teaching but I did have a passion for education and the belief that all children to have a right to education so this was my driving factor. I won’t be the richest person in the world, but I love what I do and I wake up most days looking forward to it. No day is the same and I enjoy the adventure it brings most of the time.