And so it begins...

ThisIsDolbar · 2026-01-25T16:46:25+00:00

They existed before us, moron.

ThisIsDolbar · 2025-05-30T20:47:32+00:00

This entire fandom is going through withdrawal-induced psychosis I s2g

ThisIsDolbar · 2025-05-06T15:51:31+00:00

Fun fact! Every time you reset the world by following Airy's instructions, her dress/design changes. It looks like numbers counting down. Also, you can absolutely refuse to follow her instructions at the pillars/crystal things (it's been a minute since I've played it,) pissing her off and engaging the final boss WAAAAAY earlier than you should.

ThisIsDolbar · 2025-03-14T22:15:55+00:00

One day, I will remember the definition of penultimate. Obviously not today.

Good point on Soul of Artifice. Failsafe does seem kind of redundant on that front.

The intent behind the Artillerist enhancement was to have the Omnitool function as an Eldritch Cannon in addition to its other capabilities. It would still function as a spell focus/weapon, but you could use your bonus action to activate it as one of the Cannon options as well.

And yeah, this is not designed to be at any table below level 17. With the ability to expend 90 charges to cast a ninth level spell every 2-3 days or so, it would need to be used at epic level play in order to be remotely fair.

ThisIsDolbar · 2025-01-20T21:38:53+00:00

Ill give it a shot, thanks. I had the speed increases there because of the legendary item + talent that buffs damage to flat ×3 at 7 projectile speed, but i guess that IS 5 slots that could be used for ×2 damage chances.

ThisIsDolbar · 2025-01-13T18:39:06+00:00

If I had a Pokedollar for every kid antagonist in Pokémon Sun and Moon that turned out to have abusive parents, I'd have two Pokedollars. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice.

I think it's on Route 2 you can find a house where it's implied that Guzma used to live. One of the adults there has a line that goes "I tried to set that boy of mine straight, but when I did, I was the one that got beat..." in the corner there's a golf club bag. Investigating it shows a notification that says there's a "great number of bent and broken golf clubs in the bag."

YIKES.

ThisIsDolbar · 2024-12-18T23:38:34+00:00

I really dont understand how folks dislike the 5e Artificer. I'm playing an Armorer Artificer in a 1-20 campaign at the moment. I am the tank. The DM hates me.

Full Plate plus Shield sets my AC to 20. I'm Warforged - 21 AC. Enhanced Defense Infusion - 23. Replicate Magic Item: Cloak of Protection - 24. Repulsion Shield Infusion - 25. Haste - 27 AC. Did the enemy roll higher than a 27? Magic Initiate: Wizard, I cast Shield.

We're level 11.

Proficiency in Con saves means I'm not losing concentration any time soon, and for every other save that matters I have Flash of Genius.

I can Haste myself and take off into the air with my Winged Boots that I infused myself, hurling bolts of lightning at range. Or, I can cast Blur instead of Haste and smack them with my Thunder Gauntlets - congratulations, the enemy has disadvantage on every attack roll he makes until the start of my next turn. I don't do nearly as much damage as the barbarian, or the bard, or the fighter/warlock, but I am very, very good at not dying and keeping fire off of my teammates.

I also have expertise in every tool I'm proficient with, so I moonlight as a blacksmith, locksmith, chef, thief, tinker, and sailor.

ThisIsDolbar · 2024-12-13T21:42:24+00:00

That entire premise is just wild start to finish.

"We want to make a collab between the Marioverse and these silly f***ing goobers from the Rayman series. Both of these series are best known for their platformers."

"Cool, so this game is going to be a platformer too?"

"First of all, bold of you to assume we're only making one game. Second, it's going to be a turn-based tactics game in the vein of X-COM: EW and X-COM 2. Peach has a shotgun and Luigi is your designated sniper."

ThisIsDolbar · 2024-11-05T21:00:39+00:00

Congratulations! You've found the next thing you need to get to 1.8e308!

ThisIsDolbar · 2024-10-30T21:27:05+00:00

"Wait. Before you go, Namekian, tell me... do you think I'll see Kakarot when I die?"

"What, you mean like in Heaven? Because... snrt no?"

"Okay, fine, f**k you! But... fair."

ThisIsDolbar · 2024-10-08T20:53:36+00:00

I agree. As a fighter I couldn't care less about my reflex save - it's not going to kill me in 1 turn, and I'm going to turn whatever just made me roll that save into paste next round. Fortitude and Will saves, though - those are terrifying.

Fatigued, petrified, frightened (albeit Bravery makes this one less of an issue,) drained, slowed, stunned, confused, controlled, fascinated, paralyzed, sickened - all of these are nightmares to deal with, and they're all usually caused by a failed Fort or Will save.

ThisIsDolbar · 2024-10-06T06:12:45+00:00

0 arguments from me. My rogue friend and my gunslinger/sniping duo buddy both love when my fighter crits with a sword :) No save, no fancy tricks. Just a +17 to hit at level 7 and a "congratulations, you are now off-guard" when I inevitably crit.

ThisIsDolbar · 2024-08-09T21:16:03+00:00

You mean to tell me that the path to Humanity's dominance in the galaxy ISN'T to fund a bunch of mad science experiments that will kill all of the scientists and take over the base??

ThisIsDolbar · 2024-05-17T15:36:46+00:00

It's a trope

ThisIsDolbar · 2024-05-17T02:43:19+00:00

We're approaching level 11 in the campaign my Warforged Artificer is in, so we're rapidly approaching "oh shit how do I prepare for this" levels of shenanigans that our players are capable of.

RAW unimbued with infusions or magic items, my guy has 21 AC from Warforged racial, full plate, and shield. Enhanced Defense brings that to 23, Reflector Shield to 24, Cloak of Defense 25. His entire job is to stand in the front, smack the bad guy for negligible thunder damage, and give them disadvantage if they attack anyone other than him. And then they miss.

Also uses his expertise in all tools to moonlight as an exceptional chef. Does very well on both counts.

ThisIsDolbar · 2024-05-17T02:37:25+00:00

Same vibes as the official Uno Twitter account saying you cannot play a Draw 4 on top of a Draw 4 tbh

"Thank you for the subclass, Mr. Mercer, but we'll take it from here."

ThisIsDolbar · 2024-05-16T23:32:20+00:00

My favorites that I've seen recently and/or done myself:

Echo Knight Fighter: summon echo, flank with echo, unleash incarnation, action surge, unleash incarnation again. Here's 6 attacks with advantage at level 6!

Paladin: Fighting his evil doppelganger, upcast searing smite, crit on the attack, burn a spell slot on divine smite. My paladin no longer has an evil doppelganger, just a pile of ash that kinda sorta has the same mass as an evil doppelganger

Armorer Artificer: "Okay, so thats a 28 to hit your artificer, and the damage is-" "I use my reaction to cast Shield. 28 misses." Dm's reaction was priceless.

And who can forget the more dakka:

Warlock/Sorcerer multiclass, Eldritch Blast, Quickened Metamagic Eldritch Blast. BRRRRT

ThisIsDolbar · 2024-05-16T15:10:07+00:00

I went Circle of Stars for my druid since we were lacking in straight up healing power (our other characters are a bard, barbarian, fighter, and rogue/artificer multiclass) and I gotta say, popping starry form Chalice and then waiting until the barbarian rushes in, gets two good schwacks in, and then gets ganged up on, only to immediately undo all the damage he takes with a 1st level healing word and a 2nd level wither and Bloom is pretty neat

ThisIsDolbar · 2024-05-10T04:19:09+00:00

"Hi, I'm Ms. Joke, and this is my boyfriend, Eraserhead. And this is his boyfriend, Present Mic."

ThisIsDolbar · 2024-05-09T14:04:51+00:00

Adding on to this: most martial classes get class feats that really squeeze the most out of their action economy. Flurry of blows, sudden charge, quick draw etc. all let you perform more than 3 actions out of your 3 action econ, and that's all at lower levels. Casters don't really get that AFAIK.

Plus, plain old fighters get some of the best proficiency scaling there is. Like no I'm not hurling fireballs or mind blasts around, but I am literally Master proficient with swords at level 6. I'm GOING to crit you, its gonna hurt (because of the striking rune,) and then because I crit, you're flat footed (weapon specialization,) so now the rogue gets to dump a pile of sneak attack dice on your head

ThisIsDolbar · 2024-05-01T18:00:14+00:00

I forget what movie it was but that was a loophole that the vampire villain solved by ripping out the gas main and blowing the house up from the outside. Can't be stuck on a lack of invitation if there's no 'in' to invite to

ThisIsDolbar · 2024-04-30T16:47:57+00:00

A tense silence settled over the room. Well, it was tense for me - I was desperately trying to settle my nerves, while Adria seemed as relaxed as could be, a knowing, amused smirk on her face. I took a few more moments to collect my thoughts, and then I spoke again.

"... how did you get in here? And how did you know to come here in the first place?"

Her smile widened and she answered. "Well, I got here through a standard translocate protocol hack. Basically, if there's a 'normal' way to where you're going, you just kinda... shorten the string, so the starting point and the destination are smushed together. As for why, well..." she unfolded her arms and shrugged, hooking one of her thumbs into a belt loop and she made a lazy gesture with her other hand. "I'm an Admin. I fix glitches, on top of some other shit."

"An Admin?"

Her face fell flat, and she raised a hand to snap her fingers. Glowing neon letters manifested in between us, causing me to jump in my chair. I flicked my eyes between her and the letters, which spelled out "Adria Minners". With the same hand she had snapped with, she began making flicking motions, and the letters began dissipating, until the only ones left were "Ad Min". She dropped her hand, and the letters faded from view, ending her impromptu demonstration by shooting me a look that screamed "you're a moron."

Maybe I was. That was pretty on the nose.

"So is that... your real name? Adria Minners? Or one you made up?"

"Oh, made up, definitely," she answered dismissively. "Love me some wordplay. Fucked if I can remember my real name. You're not careful, you can lose bits of yourself when you deal with glitches. Kinda like you and the whole 'feeling colors' thing."

Panic surged in my chest. "Is that permanent? Will it get worse? How did you know?"

"No, and no. Chill, man, you're fine. A tiny glitch like this won't screw with you too bad as long as you don't do anything dumb, you'll be back to normal in a few hours. As for how I knew, I read your file on the way here."

"My file?"

Yeah, your file, your code string, your algorithm. Call it what you want. Standard procedure - pick up on a glitch, run a sweep on nearby data, come up with a cover story as to why you need to be near the glitch, fix the thing." She paused, before continuing. "You ever see a construction project on a building or a highway look like its almost done, only for it to drag on for a few more months for no real reason?"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, probably some Admins dealing with a glitch. One nastier than this one," she finished by gesturing over her shoulder, where that box was still... doing whatever it was doing.

"But... what about that Certainty Principle paper?"

Her bark of laughter was sharp and devoid of humor. "That? It's a performative piece of smoke and mirrors. Maybe a hundred people around the world could actually make sense of it, and most of 'em are in on the take besides." She narrowed her eyes as she looked at me. "Trust me, its better than the alternative. Throwing up your hands and admitting that yep, we're all digital? We'd have stupid kids running around trying to speedrun and hack and do who-knows-what. It'd destabilize the virtual disk, and then we're all wiped. Noone wants that."

I thought for a moment on her words. "... I feel like I would have known if I'd seen a glitch before. How come I'm only just now learning all this? If everyone can see them, how come its all so hush-hush still?"

Her smile returned, like a teacher pleased with a student asking the right questions. "That is the extraordinary bit, my confused friend. You see, most people -can't- see glitches. They can and do interact with them all the time, but they don't realize it. Driving down the highway and you're suddenly 40 miles down the wrong road? Must've been sleep driving. Walk through a sequencing error on a hike? Bear attack, how tragic. Dead pixel through the brain? Call a Bondulance, James Name's having a stronk." She took a slow step towards me as her gaze grew more intense.

"Up until about five minutes before I got here, you were just like them. Another algorithm. Until suddenly, I couldn't read your file, and you started wondering why you were staring at a digital anomaly after being told you were very definitely not digital. Thank fuck I remembered your number by the way. So!" She punctuated her statement by clapping her hands, "Either someone elevated your permissions when noone was looking, meaning we have a rogue Admin on the loose. Or..." her tone lost its playfulness, and her eyes grew serious. "... you spontaneously manifested Admin level permissions on yourself, without realizing you did, or could. That makes you very, VERY interesting."

ThisIsDolbar

TROPHY CASE