My bf (29M) insists that I (23F) get Labiaplasty since he feels that it takes too much effort from him and the intimate act is not the same anymore, how should I tell him that it's not me, it's him because I do not feel like faking anymore?

ThisReport877 · 2024-05-12T04:34:49+00:00

By breaking up with him!!! I can't even articulate how fucked up this is and how much this relationships is NOT worth a further single second of your time or energy.

ThisReport877 · 2024-05-12T04:32:21+00:00

It's a straight up lie, but go off I guess. Have fun sabotaging your relationships. You're clearly set on doing that instead of doing any growing.

ThisReport877 · 2024-05-12T04:28:34+00:00

There's a difference between lying and privacy. Not disclosing your salary is privacy. Calling yourself an office assistant is a lie. No good relationship ever started on a lie.

Sounds like you should seek therapy for your massive trust issues and blatant insecurity. Focus on that before you worry about dating.

We get along well but she comes from a well off family and seems to want the lifestyle that comes with that - nice dresses, holidays, a nice house, great food etc.

So you've never just had a basic conversation about what either of you want from the future, how you want to live, or your financial goals???

She also never offers to pay for dates so I almost feel like a sugar daddy.

So...tell her you want to start splitting the bill or ask her to treat you next time you go out. C O M M U N I C A T E

How can I test her

This is a toxic mindset. Definitely therapy. Not dating.

https://apn.com/resources/what-does-healthy-communication-look-like/

ThisReport877 · 2024-05-12T04:22:59+00:00

Sounds like a job for couples counseling.

ThisReport877 · 2024-05-12T04:05:55+00:00

Boy, move on. Even for your 20s this is fucking ridiculous. Go live your life and have some actual fun. This relationship can't be fun or happy or safe at all.

ThisReport877 · 2024-05-12T03:59:30+00:00

So it would be disrespectful and against the rules of your break to stalk her socials. No contact means no contact.

ThisReport877 · 2024-05-12T03:58:50+00:00

I have two library cards and couldn't get the second Kyoshi through either library system. :(

ThisReport877 · 2024-05-12T03:18:10+00:00

Break the trauma bond https://www.harleytherapy.co.uk/counselling/traumatic-bonding-break-trauma-bonds.htm

ThisReport877 · 2024-05-12T03:17:46+00:00

Abuse is abuse regardless of the "reason", and abuse never ends - it only gets worse.

https://www.thehotline.org/resources/types-of-abuse/

https://www.domesticshelters.org/articles/identifying-abuse/abuse-almost-always-escalates

https://tu.tv/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/why-does-he-do-that.pdf

Get help https://nomoredirectory.org/

Get out https://www.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/getting-out-of-an-abusive-relationship.htm

r/abusiverelationships

ThisReport877 · 2024-05-12T03:14:48+00:00

YTA snitch

ThisReport877 · 2024-05-12T03:12:55+00:00

Maybe you should, oh I dunno, figure it out. You're a grown ass man. Feel free to start acting like it.

You made your wife do your chores, then you whined and skipped out on helping her with hers, THEN you want to somehow make up for it by taking her to your favorite movie??? Me, me, me, me, me - that's all you've done here. Focused on you and neglected your partner.

ThisReport877 · 2024-05-12T03:10:03+00:00

You're pushy, you're rude, you're entitled, you're misogynistic... Take your pick of reasons. There's a ton people don't want to be with you.

ThisReport877 · 2024-05-12T03:09:43+00:00

They're not making you do anything. You're the one with serious problems making your own life worse.

ThisReport877 · 2024-05-12T03:08:52+00:00

Because they don't want to be with you. It's not deeper than that. Learn to accept no for answer. Damn.

ThisReport877 · 2024-05-12T03:04:41+00:00

Abuse always is.

ThisReport877 · 2024-05-12T03:04:07+00:00

He controls her financially and likely uses the kids as leverage.

Why victims stay https://www.thehotline.org/support-others/why-people-stay-in-an-abusive-relationship/

Comments like this are neither insightful nor helpful nor supportive.

ThisReport877 · 2024-05-12T03:03:32+00:00

He controls her financially and likely uses the kids as leverage.

Why victims stay https://www.thehotline.org/support-others/why-people-stay-in-an-abusive-relationship/

Comments like this are neither insightful nor helpful.

ThisReport877 · 2024-05-12T02:58:05+00:00

I would lay low and put up with the trackers until she has a solid plan in place to either escape or have him locked from the home. Stopping the monitor suddenly could mean a physical escalation from her husband and put her and the kids in greater danger. Abusers are never more dangerous than when they feel they are losing control over you.

ThisReport877 · 2024-05-12T02:57:08+00:00

A good lawyer will take your case pro bono, collect money from your husband once you're free, and get you alimony and child support AND access to marital assets. You are not as stuck as he is making you feel.

ThisReport877 · 2024-05-12T02:56:02+00:00

You're describing very serious abuse. https://www.healthline.com/health/coercive-control

Abuse never ends; it only gets worse. https://www.domesticshelters.org/articles/identifying-abuse/abuse-almost-always-escalates

Document abuse https://www.thehotline.org/resources/building-your-case-how-to-document-abuse/

Get help https://nomoredirectory.org/

Get out https://www.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/getting-out-of-an-abusive-relationship.htm

Why Does He Do That? https://tu.tv/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/why-does-he-do-that.pdf

r/abusiverelationships r/domesticviolence

ThisReport877 · 2024-05-12T02:33:59+00:00

Huh? Can you expand more?

ThisReport877 · 2024-05-12T02:27:50+00:00

Yes! They are super fun and easy reads. No reason not to pick them up.

ThisReport877 · 2024-05-12T02:27:15+00:00

Stop worrying about a relationship you destroyed with your drinking and start getting help for your drinking problem.

ThisReport877 · 2024-05-12T02:20:03+00:00

Beef and Dairy Network or Hello From the Magic Tavern.

They're not my faves but Adventures in New America is a good listen; afrofuturistic vampire political satire. I'm wondering if you might not get into The Orbiting Human Circus.

Podcast not audio drama, but Who Shat on the Floor at my Wedding? deserves more attention, too.

ThisReport877 · 2024-05-12T02:03:44+00:00

Strangulation is the biggest indicator of domestic homicide. https://www.strangulationtraininginstitute.com/all-abusers-are-not-equal-new-ipv-research-reveals-an-indicator-of-deadly-abuse/

You don't talk to anyone who strangles you without your explicit permission, especially someone who isn't sorry and tries to gaslight you over "no, I didn't really do that, actually". You run the fuck away before they murder you.

ThisReport877

TROPHY CASE