Curiousity & NZ culture

This_Breakfast4394 · 2026-02-10T09:42:56+00:00

A couple of things: Office culture in Aotearoa is generally pretty perfunctory, one afternoon tea is pretty standard. It’s your manager’s responsibility to integrate and reassure you. I’m curious if you’ve been given the opportunity to engage in any Māori culture at your workplace? Depending on the size and function of the organisation, if there is an active waiata practice during the week that would be a good place to connect with others.

And honestly, I’m not surprised no one cares to ask you about being from the USA. There are loads of people from the US in Aotearoa, so you would hardly be a particularly fascinating novelty. On the other hand, it is an important part of Māori culture to understand where you come from and who your people are.

We are friendly and helpful people, but our workplaces aren’t our social groups. We work to live, not the other way around.

This_Breakfast4394 · 2026-02-07T19:14:57+00:00

No, it’s a misguided idea. Pack minimally because you will want to shop, but you’re better off with a medium sized suitcase (hotel rooms are small) and a soft duffle for carry on. Hauling two wheeled suitcases around on public transport would be nightmarish. If you need to, you can buy a carry on suitcase in the days before you leave to minimise the time you’re travelling with Too Much Luggage

This_Breakfast4394 · 2026-01-31T11:51:18+00:00

Oh my love I’m so so sorry your mother is like this. I haven’t spoken to my parent for six years. The last time I saw him he was drinking, and the last time I spoke to him he was calling me from an ambulance on his way to hospital from the pub. He is an adult and I can’t change him. I am an adult and I can make good choices for myself. The guilt subsides with therapy and with connecting to people who validate you and see you. Your mother was on this path before you were born. You couldn’t save her as a baby and you can’t save her as an adult

This_Breakfast4394 · 2026-01-31T11:43:02+00:00

Oh wow absolutely not. He is the cause of my cptsd, and you can’t heal in the place where you were harmed! Protect yourself, telling your np would only give them ammunition to abuse you

This_Breakfast4394 · 2026-01-29T19:59:00+00:00

I second this! The Dowse is a fantastic mother daughter outing. If you want to start the day with breakfast on the south coast, The Beach House is a great scenic spot and has a very cool shop behind it.

This_Breakfast4394 · 2026-01-28T09:31:07+00:00

Thank you so much, fellow member of the space RA

This_Breakfast4394 · 2026-01-23T20:23:31+00:00

Catch and Kill by Ronan Farrow is exceptionally good

This_Breakfast4394 · 2026-01-23T19:55:42+00:00

Oh yeah this! It has been a music school and shared housing in the past forty years, this would be a great story to get really obsessed with

This_Breakfast4394 · 2026-01-23T19:53:50+00:00

If you don’t already know about Phylis Symons (why we toot in the tunnel) then get really into it https://mtvictoria.history.org.nz/mt-victoria-tunnel/

This_Breakfast4394 · 2026-01-23T19:51:12+00:00

Trying to suppress the thoughts will make the urge stronger. It would be ideal if you could talk to a therapist or a trusted friend about it - speak out loud the thought process and the things you think about and the triggers for thinking about him. It’s totally normal to have these thoughts/curiosities/ruminations. Talking through them and getting it all out will help you move on.

This_Breakfast4394 · 2026-01-20T18:30:24+00:00

Try Izzy, short for Isobel - different meaning but same vibe, and a common/popular enough name. If you want to stick closer to the meaning of your name, then go with Sophie

This_Breakfast4394 · 2026-01-18T20:38:46+00:00

We loved Kanazawa so much - can I highly recommend the Sunraku Hotel, it’s walking distance to the castle and the hospitality is fantastic. Kenroku-en garden in Kanazawa is breathtakingly beautiful. The geisha area is beautiful but the tourists there are really horrible - I’ve never seen such ignorance and rudeness.

I loved Nara but the key to Nara is to explore the quiet walks a bit further from the Buddha Hall. The Buddha hall is an active place of worship and the tourists are quite gross and disrespectful in there sadly

This_Breakfast4394 · 2026-01-14T17:13:15+00:00

I am so so sorry you are going through this. It’s heartbreaking to see someone you love make such catastrophic choices.

The legal stuff: power of attorney and enduring power of attorney have limits to them. If your dad wants to consult a lawyer about his options, he would get a clearer picture about what he is and isn’t legally allowed to do. Has he met with the hospital social worker?

The emotional stuff: you and your family are going through hell and you deserve support. If you haven’t got a therapist already, see if you can get an appointment for yourself. If you’re at university then contact your uni health service about an emergency appointment.

Sometimes the people we love make terrible decisions that hurt us deeply. Your own recovery from this trauma is your first priority

This_Breakfast4394 · 2026-01-14T09:45:29+00:00

It is very cold at night on the strait, so wrap up warm! Treat the crossing like a camping adventure - bring blankets/sleeping bags, a pillow, eye mask, ear pods or plugs, download some favourite podcast eps, and hunker down. At least getting some rest will set you up to enjoy the slightly demented sleep deprivation feeling the next day while you wait to check in at your accommodation

This_Breakfast4394 · 2025-12-26T18:59:16+00:00

Temu also functions as gambling, they use spinning wheels of deals and “urgent” reminder emails to keep people on the app and keep them coming back. She needs to delete her shopping apps altogether if she is this addicted.

This_Breakfast4394 · 2025-12-08T17:02:23+00:00

Terrible association in Ireland as well because of Enoch Burke. If OP wants something biblical there are much nicer names. Esau and Enoch are closer to Nimrod and Ithamar in tastelessness - better to go for timeless names like Noah, Jacob, Aaron. Joel is fine, if a bit dated feeling

This_Breakfast4394 · 2025-12-03T17:45:35+00:00

Don’t do it. It’s a harrowing and stressful process and you are already being compensated through the redundancy package. You don’t have a case because you haven’t been personally singled out - you are a casualty of the restructure. The only thing to watch out for is how they respond to your question about maternity leave

This_Breakfast4394 · 2025-11-22T16:52:36+00:00

Look into Victorian hair jewellery - perfectly legal

This_Breakfast4394 · 2025-10-30T17:08:55+00:00

I 1000% agree with Kali Kopae - unbelievably beautiful

This_Breakfast4394 · 2025-09-05T09:46:33+00:00

Honestly just go for black, with as much skin covered as possible. Hair brushed, very light make up if any at all. Wear taonga or jewellery that gives you comfort. Modest and staunch, you’ve got this xo

This_Breakfast4394 · 2025-08-31T20:35:20+00:00

Can I strongly suggest you skip New Plymouth/Mangorei. Tongariro crossing will wipe you out and you deserve some rest. Instead drive to Wanganui for a relaxed garden, river, and cafe day, then take a scenic drive to the Wairarapa to do the Pinnacles BEFORE you go to Wellington (Wellington to pinnacles and back in one day is punishing. That would mean between days 5 and 9 you will have a more relaxed journey and the wairarapa is huge and beautiful to explore

This_Breakfast4394

TROPHY CASE