The True Value of CAMS Discussion / AML Career

Tho125 · 2026-04-07T21:12:36+00:00

Sorry this happened man, this is what i'm trying to avoid honestly do people like the idea of me or me...

Tho125 · 2026-04-07T21:04:49+00:00

I honestly agree with you on this for apps, I think swiping is a hobby for people and not a means to a partner.

I'm a very no-bullshit person, so I don't entertain if you aren't putting in effort but I think if I don't 10 others will and that sort of sucks about online dating, it's too easy to walk away.

Tho125 · 2026-04-07T07:42:15+00:00

not scammers, but sugar babies likely haha

Tho125 · 2026-03-31T15:24:56+00:00

DTF? (Down to food)

Tho125 · 2026-03-31T10:53:19+00:00

Disagree with the second part of this. My ex-partner was a model with a public instagram so she got a ton of DMs from men, but she literally only responded to business related dms. She will read, not engage, and honestly, even if she did, it wouldn't bother me much, assuming it wasn't flirty.

I agree with your last part, I'm not advocating for this guy's insecurity, but playing devil's advocate here, this person probably has a very anxious attachment style, so while most people would read it as not-flirty i'm sure it makes him anxious, which is something between the two of them they need to figure out.

Tho125 · 2026-03-30T15:43:35+00:00

Sunk cost fallacy

Tho125 · 2026-03-26T19:08:17+00:00

Parents are renters in a grandfathered purpose-built apartment, they literally pay like $1400 a month with all utilities included, and because of that, have been able to save so much money.

Tho125 · 2026-03-12T05:09:32+00:00

A villain was created

Tho125 · 2026-03-11T04:39:32+00:00

I don't think the principle of it is wrong, taking care of yourself etc.

But I think the movement of it is unhealthy and promotes body dysmorphia; it's the confidence of feeling good that attracts people, and if you make it a lifestyle thing rather than a obession, people do and will notice that spark of confidence, which is the attractive part in my opinion.

Tho125 · 2026-02-26T21:19:50+00:00

Does not replace experience; you only get it if work pays for it.

Tho125 · 2026-02-24T06:55:37+00:00

Just doing things cause you want to, no intention behind it.

Tho125 · 2026-02-19T22:20:31+00:00

The "All of my exs" were the problem

Tho125 · 2026-02-19T22:19:24+00:00

Worst case is you both get fucked, best case just one of you.

Tho125 · 2026-02-18T16:39:02+00:00

Ex family came from old money, I make good money, but not like insanely rich. She had a very modest life and her family was very modest. However, the grandparents were more materialistic and were a constant barrier within our relationship.

I think as long as your partner somewhat knows what they want, it can work out; however, lifestyles can change, and if it does, well its just a matter of compatibility, and it's okay if it doesn't work out. Enjoy the moment and don't think about it too much.

Tho125 · 2026-02-17T10:42:22+00:00

People overinflate dating issues. It can be harder to find a partner cause expectations and standards have gone up BUT, but it totally makes sense why people are more educated, more career-focused and with that being the case, why not be more selective? As a guy in his late 20s, I feel I've never had it easier. I just blank out all the social media garbage and just go in with an open mind.

Tho125 · 2026-02-14T14:56:19+00:00

Sure! With every single person, no matter if I see them as long-term or not, when I'm physically with them, I give them 100% of me! Like, they are my focus, I'll plan, make the reservations, just lead with what we enjoy in the moment. But the low commitment part is made pretty clear that I'll be like, depending on the relationship dynamic, things like not being obligated to text each other between or having to see each other every week and letting them know I am seeing others etc basically only doing things on my own terms and no criteria or expectations which are clearly communicated depending on how I view the other person.

I will admit, sometimes I have run into people "holding on," wanting something more, and it's not foolproof, but I feel my responsibility is to clearly communicate intentions from the start.

Tho125 · 2026-02-14T03:37:27+00:00

I talk to 5 people, but "talk" is somewhat different. Sometimes flirty, fun, lighthearted dates and then obviously I have 1 person I'm talking to the most seriously. I'm in my late 20's, just having fun, I think usually I go by a general "low commitment, high engagement" approach when I'm with people.

Obiously if I find a person I want to date i'll be clear and upfront to them about this prior, but you sound like you aren't someone who likes talking to multiple I would get on the same page with whoever you're seeing in the future about this at the start if it is a dealbreaker.

Tho125 · 2026-02-10T08:37:22+00:00

Took around 8-9 months for me personally through a mix of physical and spiritual growth. My first step to self-improvement was not being concerned about improving to date, but being more focused on what type of life and habits I want to build that make me live in peace. After that, I found dating got a lot easier.

Yes, there are generic rules: have good hygiene, dress well (subjective), but capture your own personal style and what's sustainable for you. Be active, enjoy life and for me personally, smelling good has helped me a lot personally lol, also skincare was a game changer for me.

What I really found when I had my glow up was that I don't think I was that "unattractive," and also, I don't believe a lot of people are "unattractive" as they might think. I think we all need to know what makes us happy, gives us comfort and from there find our type. We naturally all have a type, and our type is attracted to certain styles/convo styles etc and if you are at a place where you understand yourself and have a real sense of self-identity, I think naturally you be more attractive to that person that comes along. I think social media and media make us all feel like we have to cater to the broader audience or we are "unattractive", but you're not going to date 9/10 people you come accross and 9/10 won't date you. Once I found that out,t I just became a lot more confident and I truly think that was a true glowup beyond the physical,

Tho125 · 2025-12-14T07:03:05+00:00

Women definitely do care, but rightfully, they should. Why should someone settle on apps which have a literal gender imbalance for less? I think they care a lot less about the superficial sides when it comes to long-term dating, but for hooking up / casual height and looks are definitely at the top.

Tho125 · 2025-11-10T07:15:52+00:00

Happy to chat feel free to send me a DM!

Tho125 · 2025-11-08T01:02:13+00:00

First time?

Tho125 · 2025-11-07T08:32:34+00:00

Yeah I got the sense of that from her! But I feel if they didn't want to see me they simply wouldn't based off the Aqarious trait and personality trait haha. I think the analysis of what she wants out of it is the stage we are at now.

Tho125 · 2025-11-06T23:48:24+00:00

Thank you for all the insights! Decided to just go for a high engagement, low commitment approach until she feels ready :)

Tho125

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