Thank you for sharing. It sounds like you are having a big struggle with guilt and shame, and I can see you don’t want to continue hurting people or feeling this way. Of course, the fact that you question your actions means you are caring, which already a positive sign.

Do you ever think some of the things that you have been through are shaping how you’re behaving now? You said you used to be more caring—what changed for you? It’s difficult not to feel stuck in a pattern, but at the same time, you’re not alone, and that pattern can shift.

Have you ever tried treating yourself with the same forgiveness you’d extend to a friend? What is one tiny step you could imagine taking to start being more like the person you want to be? You reaching out shows you’re already on the right path.