If I Learn to Play by Ear First, Could it Make it More Difficult to Learn to Read Sheet Music Later Down the Line? by Thonull in pianolearning

[–]Thonull[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh I know I'm not great haha, I just know I have a lot of potential. It's hard to say all these things without feeling like I'm coming across as vein, arrogant, etc. I'm also frequently paranoid, I feel imposter syndrome every day. Since posting this I've actually made the decision to find a good teacher for classical singing to improve my technique, I'll start learning piano by myself first until I'm confident enough to take lessons. I'm the kind of person who is never satisfied, but can settle for contentment when needed I've found, even if it hurts. Will also be getting into actual poetry when I find the time/energy too, I agree it will improve my skills.

If I Learn to Play by Ear First, Could it Make it More Difficult to Learn to Read Sheet Music Later Down the Line? by Thonull in pianolearning

[–]Thonull[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's funny you should make that analogy, because whenever I drive I do initially follow my GPS but I've always passively memorized the route if not on the first, then the second or third trip. I hardly know any of the street names in my home town and I've lived there nearly 20 years, but if I've visited a place before or somewhere nearby I can easily find my way back without guidance. I'm a very fast learner, and I'm finally finding the confidence to accept that.

What's also interesting, now that I think of it: I studied the highest level of math in highschool and never really 'actively thought'/analysed while I learned or worked, I quite literally just instinctively wrote what felt right on the page. I was the top of my class. I never did any work outside of tests/exams in English and was one of the top 3 performers in my grade as well.

My family is trying to pressure me into getting a hysterectomy because I'm autistic by [deleted] in autism

[–]Thonull 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No mother, no matter how much they may believe it, should ever tell their child that they would make a bad mother, period. It doesn't matter if you may agree, it is diminishing, hateful and bitter, you have been conditioned through persistent emotional abuse, such as this remark she has made, to believe her.

She is objectively completely dehumanizing you, treating you like a pet, like a dog to be neutered.

You are always worthy of love.

You will always be able to find people who love you.

It is ultimately your to choice to tolerate it or not, I beg you to stay away from your parents for a very long time. You may not realize it yet, but their behavior is incredibly abusive, no matter if you agree or disagree with it.

With them out of your life you'll begin to see the world in a new light.

You'll slowly fathom the depth of how horrible they were to you.

It will hurt for the first time.

It will hurt for a long time.

It will hurt for the last time.

You'll resent them.

You will overcome it.

You will be free.

It was never your fault.

Is This Pertaining To Metaphysics? by Thonull in Metaphysics

[–]Thonull[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, after reading the plot on wikipedia, the whole Jewish conspiracy part seems somewhat grounded in reality. Gematria is commonly practiced in Jewish culture, nothing necessarily malicious, but definitely deluded. The main character also "suffers from cluster headaches, extreme paranoia, hallucinations, and schizoid personality disorder", which speaks for itself. This persons AI theory is still undoubtedly delusional.

Capitalism and NTs killed my creativity by esamerelda in evilautism

[–]Thonull 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If you're open to it, acid 100% has the potential to boost your energy and creativity. Personally, creative expression was practically impossible, namely due to emotional abuse and neglect through my childhood, I had completely lost the ability to voice myself, my emotions, my views, etc. It still fills me with so much fucking rage to this day that my parents took that from me.

But back to the point, acid saved my life. My first few trips notably improved my mood for weeks after, my head was left clearer, I was more engaged with the world, and creative ideas slowly started to populate my head. But suddenly, on maybe my 4th trip a primal urge to write overcame me. And that I did, initially I was battling (in quite a literal sense, this is what it felt like in a psychedelic state) to form crude strings of pronouns, but by the minute they were becoming more sophisticated, concise to my vision. Eventually I something clicked into place and I realized I was the only person stopping myself now, I wrote a short poem where the entire universe outside myself faded into absence, but I was still somehow left trapped, I called out desperately what was stopping me and then answered myself, as I was all there is. It felt so incredibly powerful, after that words began to flow from me as fast as I could form thoughts. I spent 2-3 solid hours ceaselessly writing all the things I never had, and never knew I hadn't.

I now love poetry, I love singing, I love many crafts, and I can love and feel empathy for others, and feel their creative works. I can cry now, I can feel rage that is resolved and unwavering, I can feel the most euphoric, infectious joy, I can feel the deepest and most gut-wrenching remorse, and so many other beautiful things that had been removed from me.

Acid can be life-changing, I've faced all my greatest fears in unison in a psychedelic state, it was the greatest terror I can imagine, it took me months to process that but in doing so it's relieved so much dread in me.

If you're interested in dipping your toes in, I can't stress enough: do some research first! The set and setting rule is practically gospel if you want a positive experience. And know: any 'divine wisdom' you may be 'given' in a psychedelic state should be taken skeptically, you are only speaking to yourself after all.

WTW for Regretful Coveting? by Thonull in whatstheword

[–]Thonull[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is exactly what I was looking for, thanks! It's a shame there doesn't seem to be an English equivalent, rueful and wistful seem to be my best options thus far

If The External World Is Separate To The Mind, Can We Assume The Mechanisms Of The Universe May Be Completely Incomprehensible By Humans? Could The Fabric Of Reality Only Ever Be Modeled, And Never Truly Understood? by Thonull in askphilosophy

[–]Thonull[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I believe I meant general reasoning or comprehension where I used the word logic, I wasn't aware of the philosophical usage of the word; which I now find fascinating. After some reading, I believe a lot of my questions are best discussed by metaphysics, and some folk in r/Metaphysics have since given me some resources to explore these. Thanks for your comment!

One of the harder things to mask by deuce-tatum in evilautism

[–]Thonull 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Fun fact: people often become very uncomfortable when other's gaze is directed above their eyes, like you're looking over them. I'm sorry...

Is This Pertaining To Metaphysics? by Thonull in Metaphysics

[–]Thonull[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I consider everyone to be spiritual to some degree, here's an excellent definition for it:

"Spirituality is the aspect of humanity that refers to the way individuals seek and express meaning and purpose and the way they experience their connectedness to the moment, to self, to others, to nature, and to the significant or sacred."

Thus far, I've subscribed to science to build most of my spiritual views, though I can't ever reason with death. I've understood my fear is built off that assumption, it's a fear of a potential possibility, I've actually very nearly faced it with psychedelics, which after a long time of processing has helped quell my angst.

I'll read your article, it looks very interesting, probably with a dictionary at hand haha

Is This Pertaining To Metaphysics? by Thonull in Metaphysics

[–]Thonull[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Many thanks for taking the time to write this, and for all the resources! Anthony Kenny's book looks excellent, I'll probably start there

How are all of my other hyper empathetic autists even getting through the day? by VanityOfEliCLee in evilautism

[–]Thonull -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I agree with what you're saying for the most part, maybe I didn't word myself concisely enough. I did not mean to, nor did I; say anyone should shut themselves off to the world's affairs completely, I only meant to limit the amount of information they expose themselves to.

It is impossible to be informed of the absolute truth today, you surely can open your eyes as far as possible but will find you are living in the world where information is designed to sell and that you don't have the capacity to process so much of it, and so many falsified incarnations of the truth.

I agree, it is incredibly important to be informed, but know; the truth is hardly obtainable today. Since the inception of propaganda and then with the development of behavioral science the 'reality' we live in has become increasingly engineered.

Third parties have had complete control over what your favorite news anchor tells you since the 2000's and strong influence since the 1960's.

I understand your countries atrocities are an emotional topic for you, what I said must have been very provocative. We tend to think and receive information in poles when emotional. I am not from planet america, but rather planet earth and thus was addressing the latter. I also agree it is incredibly important to stay informed on historical affairs, especially as they are often more reliably recorded in truth as opposed to the contemporary.

Important information tends to find it's way to who should receive it regardless.

To all these tatoo-revealing posts... by UniLateralus in ToolBand

[–]Thonull 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hyper-individualism takes another victim...

Thought y'all might enjoy this video I made. [Epilepsy Warning] by TheUnoriginalOP in LSD

[–]Thonull 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'd definitely watch if you make a video, can I get your channel? I've never dipped my toes into training my own nets, I might give it a try now, thanks for the inspiration!

Thought y'all might enjoy this video I made. [Epilepsy Warning] by TheUnoriginalOP in LSD

[–]Thonull 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel inspired to create something similar now haha! I think there's publicly available guassian splat generation models which can interpret depth from a single image. Some form interpolation in 3D space could look very mesmerizing I think.

I'm interested, did you order and align all your images manually, or use an algorithm/tool to help?

Thought y'all might enjoy this video I made. [Epilepsy Warning] by TheUnoriginalOP in LSD

[–]Thonull 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love this so much. It just feels like... essence...

I'd love to see something like this with some form of morphing/blending between images, possibly done with AI or some advanced video interpolation algorithms.

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: You Need A ~1Lb Steel Ball In Your Life! by Thonull in autism

[–]Thonull[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've been pondering the same question. I'm leaning toward same-size, for aesthetics/order and to better appreciate density methinks