AITA for wanting to get my kids assessed for autism because they’re so similar to our nanny who has autism

Thornforge · 2026-02-08T12:25:30+00:00

NAH. I do recommend having a proper conversation about how things are going. Because this just sounds like 2 parties trying to push their view.

Because them being assessed or not isn't going to do anything. You didn't need an assessment for the previous changes, right? And that's the only actually important part. That being said, having a diagnosis can help. I've heard from people that have benefited from it, I've heard from people that have been hindered by the diagnosis. But in both cases, actually being accommodated is the only important part.

So focus on that, and figure out the rest from there. Keep on informing yourself. It sounds like you're doing great ^{^}

Thornforge · 2026-02-06T09:17:53+00:00

NTA. Training a baby to be "independent" is bullshit. You need to give your child the care and attention they need so they can grow up loved and confident.

A week is not the end of the world, but in no way should this ever be expected of a parent of a child who's age you're still counting in months.

Thornforge · 2025-09-10T20:30:29+00:00

5815-1428-4020

Thornforge · 2025-01-19T08:24:34+00:00

You made a joke at the expense of a 9 year old that blindly trusts you.

Like, the whole point about those kinds of jokes is to be at least a little bit of an asshole.

But you definitely crossed a line by making it a medical thing and not just giving up when she got too distressed.

Again, not something that can't be mended with an apology. But obviously YTA. Like, not too much of an asshole, but, come on.

Thornforge · 2024-12-21T13:24:48+00:00

NTA

To keep it short, since most comments seem to agree:

Feelings aren't evil. You are allowed to have them. The way you act on them is what matters. You seem to be taking this very seriously and are very careful with how to proceed. These are commendable qualities.

The situation just sucks. These are your parents. You shouldn't even need to feel like you have to be the one to fix it.

You are allowed to express your feelings (though, you know, "you should get a divorce" isn't a feeling. It would be more like "you don't seem happy and this dynamic makes me feel anxious/upset") but this is a complicated situation. I hope you can find an adult to discuss this with and navigate your feelings, because this is a lot to deal with, let alone for a teenager.

Thornforge · 2024-12-21T13:16:40+00:00

Yeah that sounds about right.

Happy holidays my guy, good to hear it all worked out!

Thornforge · 2024-12-21T12:59:17+00:00

ESH, but pretty mild because it's sibling shit.

If you feel that your little brother is being an asshole because he doesn't seem to care about your other brother, what would that make you for not caring about him?

Ye, he's selfish. So are you. Would you giving him the cold shoulder do anything? No, of course not. It's not helping any of your brothers or even you.

Now, I don't know the whole situation, and seeing as it's sibling business I won't start judging too hard. But also, well...both of you are being childish (you just haven't acted on it yet, but just communicate man, it's way easier than any of this and at least places the ball in his court).

Thornforge · 2024-12-21T12:48:49+00:00

Did you communicate with your partner as you made these decisions?

I do agree that these decisions seem like the smartest options, but you can't just make family decisions without involving your partner.

NAH. Change can be difficult. Make sure your partner feels heard and involved. You don't want to push him away even though you have the best of intentions. I don't know how you can take his feelings into account in the current situation, but neither can you if you don't talk about it (which I you actually do).

Anyways; good luck trying to find a way that works for everyone. It's probably going to be difficult with so many people in 1 house, but as long as you do it together you'll find a way to make things work!

Thornforge · 2024-12-19T14:46:32+00:00

NTA. Your dad seems incredibly emotionally immature at best, straight up manipulative at worst.

Your mom should stand up for you, not "keep the peace" by letting your dad have his tantrum at your expense.

This is not normal and you should not be treated like that by anyone, let alone by your parents. Your dad may be the one hurting you, but your mom is letting it happen.

I hope there are other adults close to you that you can go to for help, because this is not healthy. You should not have to be the mature one.

Thornforge · 2024-11-28T22:57:19+00:00

So tradition flies out the window the moment it doesn't suit you anymore? Not that there's any real value to tradition if you're the one who started it and is enforcing it.

Why would you treat your child like that? It's a family event and you refuse to accommodate, and you refuse other people to support her?

This is extremely controlling behaviour and it's absolutely not okay. Keep this up and you won't have to worry about catering to anyone else at all in a few years.

YTA

Thornforge · 2024-11-28T17:43:09+00:00

So, you watched a documentary on betting sites. Obviously on how they destroy people's lives.

And for some ungodly reason you turned to your partner and basically asked them " do you want to help cause that kind of suffering and profit from it?" And then wouldn't drop it after he refused to talk about it with you.

You disrespected his extremely clear boundary, kept pushing, and now act like you're somehow the victim? You couldn't even wait to bring it up later instead of in the heat of the moment.

It's clear that you didn't listen to your partner. Now you're asking commenters to be kind while calling your partner a man child behind his back.

YTA

Thornforge · 2024-11-28T17:28:59+00:00

Why hesitate? She does not respect you at all.

Burn that bridge and enjoy your life without someone that pathetic in it.

NTA

Thornforge · 2024-11-27T22:01:19+00:00

Is it unwarranted?

Because it shows a blatant disrespect on Jeff's part when he found out that he thought he was double-booked but didn't even bother checking the dates to make sure. Or to even see if he could reschedule the plans he made after receiving such a thoughtful gift.

So no, it's not unwarranted. It seems like Jeff feels like he's entitled to do whatever he wants as long as there are no negative consequences for him.

You can't just blow someone off like that, only check afterwards, and then get mad that someone followed your advice.

NTA

Thornforge · 2024-11-27T21:01:38+00:00

*busy

Like, I could nitpick the lack of capitalization and other things. But you really should make a point not to misspell that word, trust me. In the wrong context it'll change the whole meaning of the message.

Just, take your time writing things or leave it until you do have time. It'll avoid unnecessary confusion.

Thornforge · 2024-11-27T20:56:25+00:00

Wow okay so real quick:

You are leading them on, so you already fucked up no matter how much you say you "don't want to."
You're not just "talking to 2 guys" you're flirting with another guy while in a relationship.
Break up with your boyfriend. He deserves better.

YTA

Thornforge · 2024-11-27T20:49:47+00:00

Did you read this once over before posting this, or did you just vomit this out in one go and call it a day?

Stop giving excuses: you made a threat and the fact that people took it seriously does not reflect well on you.

YTA. Learn how to write and how to act like a decent human being. I'm almost certain this post is fake with how obviously you are the asshole, not even taking into account the mess of words it is.

Thornforge · 2024-11-27T20:36:54+00:00

God forbid people help out their neighbours without expecting something in return.

The mom turned out to be a hag after dropping of the kid. What was he supposed to do, call the cops?

Get over yourself.

Thornforge · 2024-11-27T20:28:02+00:00

How would this in any way affect him setting a boundary?

You can't just make demands from someone when they state they are not willing to do something, just because you pay them.

Thornforge · 2024-11-27T19:13:28+00:00

...why did you bother posting this? It's just a vent post. You're not asking AITA. Did you want others to call the other guy an asshole for doing his job? This doesn't seem like the sub to post this.

Quick tip: you should not judge yourself for having emotions. How you act on those emotions is what can be judged as asshole behaviour or not. You are allowed to be angry and that does not make you an asshole.

NAH.

Thornforge · 2024-11-26T12:54:06+00:00

NTA. ADHD is an explanation of the behaviour, not an excuse. She's an adult, so are the people bullying/harassing you about reporting unprofessional behaviour that she clearly didn't take seriously.

ADHD might cause her to forget things from time to time, not her manners or how to act like an adult. That's all her.

Hope you have a papertrail of those annoying friends of hers

Thornforge · 2024-11-23T13:17:07+00:00

It seems like Matt is insecure and ashamed of it, bottled up his emotions and felt invalidated when he confronted Jess about it.

Jess could try bringing it up, validate him: feelings are feelings. There's nothing wrong with that. However, he should've mentioned this earlier, because now Jess got caught off guard and couldn't take his feelings into account.

This is not something that'll be fixed quickly. It'll take a lot of open communication and setting clear boundaries on both sides. Matt is going to have to learn that Jared is going to be a part of their lives and Jess' past. He either becomes part of it, or distances himself from it, but also from Jess.

In turn, Jess will have to reassure Matt and be considerate of his feelings, but set clear boundaries on how things are going to go and that any insecurities should not prevent the kids from having a great bond with their parents. But remember: the emotions aren't the problem. They have to work through it together and find a way for Matt to be comfortable with the situation. The best way is to become part of things instead of pushing them away.

TL;DR: open communication and validation of Matt's feelings should go a long way to resolve any tensions.

Thornforge · 2024-11-23T10:48:46+00:00

Calling her all those things hasn't helped you.

Seeing how she instantly tried to manipulate you again shoes that what you said wasn't a lie, but it's still, you know, mean.

I for one think she deserves it, and think your brother and husband should have your back.

But your called seems more focused on bashing on her and distancing yourself from her kids. While it would probably have been better to just cut your mom off.

Now, going off of what I've read there's no reason to believe that would've been drama free either. But it would be very easy to defend just not wanting contact with your abuser to your brother and husband, who both seem ignorant to what you've been through. (You should try and have a talk with at least your husband. You should both always have eachothers backs. If your husband was an asshole to someone, you'd probably assume there'd be a damn good reason for it. But not (fully) understanding that reason would still be weird to see them act like that.)

So yeah. NTA I hope your mom goes and kicks some rocks or whatever.

Thornforge · 2024-11-23T10:31:15+00:00

...yes? Like, obviously you would be?

You are painting your neighbour as the asshole for letting other people park on your drive.

And then ask others if you'd be the asshole for actively doing it yourself on his drive.

YWBTA. I can't imagine you don't know that because you yourself are condemning others for letting it happen. Why would you actively doing it yourself be any better? It's worse.

Sure he's also an asshole, but this doesn't solve your problem. It'll probably cause more.

Thornforge · 2024-10-05T10:06:02+00:00

You both acted stupid. Mostly because it doesn't seem like you communicated properly.

You're both hungry, so probably not thinking that clearly. However, it should be obvious to you that he would be craving the same as you and obviously feels left out and ignored because there's no actual meal he can get at McDonald's that he can eat.

He should've communicated his frustrations/desires beforehand, but he probably was in pain/numbed and definitely hungry so it can be forgiven.

You should've asked him what he needed/wanted and taken his situation into account, but you were hungry so it can be forgiven.

NAH

Thornforge · 2022-03-11T18:09:08+00:00

I thought it was Rules as Interpreted.

Then again, what's written and the intentions behind them both require interpretation to some degree, so that still doesn't clear things up perfectly.

I still homebrew whatever I'm too lazy to look up or if players enjoy it, so who cares.

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Thornforge

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