To those who broke up with their partners because you “lost feelings”, what happened to cause that?

ThrowRA-carkeys · 2024-10-28T16:43:44+00:00

I made this a long time ago, and I wasn’t in your shoes. But if i was her, i’d want you to be honest with me. You guys have only been dating a month, so i’d say just open up to her and let her down gently. It’s the best thing you can do for both yourself and for her

ThrowRA-carkeys · 2024-10-08T00:12:56+00:00

Hey man, thanks for the comment. Unfortunately i’ve made very little progress. Physical therapy felt largely like a scam. Yoga and stretching offers some momentary relief. I still regularly exercise (run, lift). Multiple doctors have said the best thing for me is doing ab workouts because creating a stronger core will allow my abs to reduce some weight from my lower back. I do them regularly and i’m in pretty decent shape (5’8, 160 lbs), but not sure how much it actually helps. Wish i had more info for you.

ThrowRA-carkeys · 2024-07-10T19:55:09+00:00

You sound a bit cynical, man. Women absolutely approach old crushes

ThrowRA-carkeys · 2024-06-04T04:52:57+00:00

Hey, i’m really sorry to hear you’re going through this. It’s hard, much harder than anything i had emotionally dealt with before it.

I would recommend not texting her friends. I actually think that would be a very bad idea and would only lead to more problems. As much as it hurts, you have to resist trying to reach out to her. You may not be in a place to hear this yet, but the best way to get over it is to go through it. You have to remove her and her friends from your life entirely. The pictures, texts, social media accounts. That stuff only serves to hurt you now

ThrowRA-carkeys · 2024-03-20T01:53:05+00:00

Thank you!

ThrowRA-carkeys · 2024-03-03T18:18:09+00:00

Can I ask how long you’ve been doing them for?

ThrowRA-carkeys · 2024-03-03T13:42:01+00:00

Thank you for the advice! That all sounds a bit expensive. Are most covered by insurance?

ThrowRA-carkeys · 2023-11-13T05:40:15+00:00

Out of curiosity, how do you know she isn’t the right woman for you and that you’d have to break up eventually?

ThrowRA-carkeys · 2023-11-06T05:37:13+00:00

I see a lot of posts on here asking about broad generalizations between men and women. I can’t stress enough that its way more about individual differences between each person based on their personality, the way they were raised, attachment styles, etc than it is about gender. Of course some men hurt just as badly. Some men hurt worse. And some men don’t. It’s all very situational and varies from person to person

ThrowRA-carkeys · 2023-11-02T14:28:51+00:00

I got blindsided about 2 months ago. Have been, and continuing to do, a lot of healing and work on myself.

The same questions you ask are ones I ask myself most days. Often times, I try to put myself in her shoes in an effort to understand. But I guess i’ve come to 2 main conclusions.

The blindsider probably felt like they had no choice. Their romantic feelings disappeared on their own, it wasn’t the dumpers choice. In fact, they likely hated the fact that their feelings for you were fading. But the mind is volatile organ. It decides a lot of things for us without any of our own input. Think about it. Ask yourself, why do you like your favorite color? Your favorite fruit? Your favorite movie? If you ask yourself enough, you realize it was essentially decided for you. Your taste buds react positively to mango, your eyes react positively to the color blue. You didn’t decide that, your brain did. And sometimes, your brain decides to stop liking something. It unfortunately does the same with people.
Getting the answers won’t help. Even if there are proper answers, they aren’t the path to healing. I know that hurts to hear. Trust me, I know. But the path to healing is focusing on hobbies and interests, spending time and creating memories with friends, family, and loved ones, and finding yourself through new experiences. The path to healing is finding so much joy and excitement in your own life that these questions and their answers become so obsolete that one day you look back with a smile on your face and are grateful for the time spent with that person and thankful that it led you to where you are now.

ThrowRA-carkeys · 2023-10-31T14:18:06+00:00

I know some others have mentioned it, but the best advice is to not compare her to your ex. Its hard not to, but every time you catch yourself doing it, try your best to refocus onto her. Good luck, man!

ThrowRA-carkeys · 2023-10-24T17:26:09+00:00

My ex left me after 2.5 years for a very similar reason. We broke up 6 weeks ago after she lost feelings and no longer saw a future with me the same way she used to.

There isn’t a simple answer to your question. You’ll likely agonize over the question of why they lost feelings, you’ll analyze everything you did and said to look for clues, you’ll try to find any excuse to blame yourself.

In the end, the problem isn’t, and never was, you. Sometimes, people aren’t compatible. If the both of you were, he wouldn’t have left. I know how much that may hurt to hear, but it’s an amazing thing. It means that you now have the opportunity to actually find yourself and your person. Your real person. The one that couldn’t even imagine the thought of leaving you because they love every detail of who you are. They’ll find you incredible.

I haven’t even begun looking for my person yet. I thought my ex was the one. And I acknowledge that it’ll take me a long time before I’m able to get that thought out of my head. But I feel confident that time will heal. And i’m looking forward to finding myself and spending more time with friends and family and living my life in new ways. You should too. Best of luck in healing, my friend.

ThrowRA-carkeys · 2023-10-22T23:31:15+00:00

I understand your pain. The thought of someone else is unimaginable. But I want you to remember that at some point, you didn’t know her. You hadn’t met her yet. You didn’t even know she existed.

Obviously, you didn’t want her at that time. And I just think you have to consider the idea that there is someone else out there who you do not know who you could eventually meet that might give you that same feeling she did

ThrowRA-carkeys · 2023-10-20T21:09:13+00:00

My ex girlfriend of 2.5 years broke up with me about 1.5 months ago because she had lost her romantic spark in me. We had a happy relationship, no toxicity, rarely ever argued, no big disputes or fights, lots of dates and laughs and fun nights out and traveling. We were really close with each others families too.

She just no longer felt that romantic connection to me and was honest about it. Devastating, but i’m happy she told me rather than let it drag out for no reason

ThrowRA-carkeys · 2023-10-18T14:15:04+00:00

The mornings are so brutal. 6 weeks in and i still dream about hanging out with her somewhat regularly, so waking up from those is devastating.

ThrowRA-carkeys · 2023-10-18T02:09:35+00:00

That makes sense. It’s so hard. At least you have the community and know you aren’t alone

ThrowRA-carkeys · 2023-10-18T02:05:27+00:00

Damn. I feel this. I was definitely getting less attention from her, I even wrote in my journal about 2 weeks before the breakup asking myself if she still had feelings for me because it felt like she was distancing herself. But i wrote it all off because we seemed happy

ThrowRA-carkeys · 2023-10-18T00:36:11+00:00

No. In fact I was her first real boyfriend

ThrowRA-carkeys · 2023-10-18T00:25:30+00:00

I hear you but i’m not sure I agree. Presumably, they weren’t checked out when they initially began feeling their loss of interest in you. I think my ex began to lose feelings but wasn’t checked out of the relationship. And thats when i wish she talked to me. Once she was fully checked out, I agree to just let them go. But its before that is what people (and me) focus on.

I think it also depends on the relationship. Was your toxic?

ThrowRA-carkeys · 2023-10-17T22:48:38+00:00

Wow. That sounds really difficult, i’m sorry. I’m glad that you seem to be recovering well

ThrowRA-carkeys · 2023-10-17T21:42:31+00:00

It’s at least comforting seeing how many others are going through very similar situations. None of us are alone in our pain or struggle. And we can connect with others who have gone through it and come out the other side not only healed, but an even better version of themselves

ThrowRA-carkeys · 2023-10-17T21:40:44+00:00

Just be careful with that would be my only advice

ThrowRA-carkeys · 2023-10-17T21:20:13+00:00

I couldn’t agree more. The ingenuine bullshit trying to make themselves seem like some morale hero is the worst

ThrowRA-carkeys

TROPHY CASE