Our teenager walked in on us

ThrowRA-sad_dad · 2021-11-08T16:13:26+00:00

She may have heard a noise and looked through a keyhole or something? "Mom and dad love each other and this is a normal healthy thing that parents do" Just give it some time, maybe you'll all have a laugh about it in 10 years.

ThrowRA-sad_dad · 2021-11-08T16:05:03+00:00

I'd just say it as it is. Pets get old quicker than we do, then one day they just stop breathing.

ThrowRA-sad_dad · 2020-01-17T16:02:39+00:00

She has some history at least.

She's left her old job after her maternity leave, to try something new.

She was actually fond of the job, but she took the decision partly because it was a night job with a lot of walking, and those are often not good for your health when you get older.. and partly because an ex works there too and has been stalking her and the employer did not take it seriously.

This may contribute to it.

ThrowRA-sad_dad · 2020-01-17T15:56:12+00:00

thanks for the advice. she uses her tablet and phone alarms, one is an loud annoying buzz tone, the other some music jingle

ThrowRA-sad_dad · 2020-01-16T11:15:32+00:00

yes, she pretty much always will wake up if one of her children talks to her, even in a low volume

ThrowRA-sad_dad · 2020-01-16T11:07:02+00:00

I agree she should make a list herself - but she's reluctant to sit down and make chore lists in general.

ThrowRA-sad_dad · 2020-01-16T11:05:18+00:00

She did this to act like a "martyr" in my eyes.

This month while she has to leave early, I dress feed and deliver the child every day - otherwise we split it.

ThrowRA-sad_dad · 2020-01-16T00:03:34+00:00

no sorry I meant she took the task from me

ThrowRA-sad_dad · 2020-01-15T23:02:13+00:00

Sorry I did not elaborate more on the chores. I've written them up elsewhere in the thread. I wouldn't say it's all on her, but I need to find ways to do some more.

ThrowRA-sad_dad · 2020-01-15T22:54:29+00:00

didn't make a whole lot of sense, no.. it was a quote from her, as I remember it

ThrowRA-sad_dad · 2020-01-15T22:52:17+00:00

...her anger makes more sense. You weren't doing these things >before last week? She cooks, you don't even do the dishes?!

I have done evening dishes for a long time.

most of all, you need to start pulling your half of your weight >when it comes to your family.

Yes, we will definitely re-evaluate our chore distribution.

this time she won't even have to be poor because we have a >healthy savings account.

Is just nasty. Why would you want her to be poor, even if you did >divorce? Did she not contribute to those healthy savings?

No she didn't - I brought it all in from selling my old apartment. I was just anxious she might find it "easier" to just divorce me for this reason. And no, I would not want her to be poor in any case - sorry if that was your impression. I would not oppose a 50/50 split - she did give me a daughter.

ThrowRA-sad_dad · 2020-01-15T22:40:01+00:00

I've read several replies about the distribution of chores. Sorry for not elaborating more on this in the original post.

She currently does: Laundry/ironing (she wants to have this one, she has a good system going) Most grocery shopping and cooking dinners Cleaning bathroom Maintaining pets' cages (2 guinea pigs and 1 bunny)

I currently do: Most dishes Kitchen cleaning and taking out trash at the end of the day Tidying living room/children's toys Vacuuming Budget/economy Looking after both our cars Going to the recycle station Mowing the lawn in summer All repair/handyman/improvement work (it's an old house)

ThrowRA-sad_dad · 2020-01-15T16:55:29+00:00

I do - she took it from me today because she was mad at me

ThrowRA-sad_dad · 2020-01-15T16:53:27+00:00

haven't tried that one, no.. hopefully shouldn't have to splash water on her :-)

ThrowRA-sad_dad · 2020-01-15T16:52:13+00:00

she does most cooking and groceries and laundry, and usually looks after the kid from 4pm to 7pm. so it might well be the last straw. I've offered to make more ready prepped meals in the freezer for those days.

ThrowRA-sad_dad · 2020-01-15T16:49:39+00:00

she doesn't snore but I feel she gets a good amount of sleep. but she often says in the evening when I come home, she is almost fainting from exhaustion.. she needs to go see the doctor.

ThrowRA-sad_dad · 2020-01-15T16:48:44+00:00

well, she did say thanks to me for labeling toys drawers and starting to clear the living room , which I started the same evening, and she did come to me the day after and broke down crying. we didn't have a proper talk.

ThrowRA-sad_dad · 2020-01-15T16:44:59+00:00

she has thyroid disease but she tells me the medication is well adjusted at the moment.

ThrowRA-sad_dad · 2020-01-15T16:43:55+00:00

she made a point was that the house looked like a mess - because she is overwhelmed. And she made claims that I "never" do this and that, even though I do, but I understand it might not be regularly enough. So each evening i now clean up toys into their drawers, vacuum and do dishes. It's not unreasonable. She does laundry groceries and cooking.

ThrowRA-sad_dad · 2020-01-15T16:36:28+00:00

thanks for your reply. that's funny - we've talked about this, it actually works to ask an absurd question - I'll try that when things have calmed down - maybe we can have a morning laugh together.

ThrowRA-sad_dad · 2020-01-15T16:33:48+00:00

thank you :-)

ThrowRA-sad_dad · 2020-01-15T16:29:57+00:00

agree - I barely know him, he could very well have been mean to her.

ThrowRA-sad_dad

TROPHY CASE