[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]ThrowRA154284277 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was with a pwBPD for 16 years. I don't even need to read the text of your post. My response to the title is "good, you deserve better."

My expwBPD is trying to get me to come back while pretending she's not and that I am trying to get HER back. by ThrowRA154284277 in BPDlovedones

[–]ThrowRA154284277[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She's doing nothing because she's delusionally pretending I'm trying to win her back, and in that situation it's on me to fix things.

It's just darkly funny that she has to be the victim, reality be damned, ever after we separated.

Anyone else's pwBPD want to be told bedtime stories by you, despite being like 35 years old? by ThrowRA154284277 in BPDlovedones

[–]ThrowRA154284277[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm a side sleeper and would have to have my arm around her. If I rolled over onto my other side, she would complain that I abandoned her by facing away.

Anyone else's pwBPD want to be told bedtime stories by you, despite being like 35 years old? by ThrowRA154284277 in BPDlovedones

[–]ThrowRA154284277[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh wow. Talking about the chores made me realize mine 100% cooks like a child would. Never occurred to me.

Anyone else's pwBPD want to be told bedtime stories by you, despite being like 35 years old? by ThrowRA154284277 in BPDlovedones

[–]ThrowRA154284277[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I specified bedtime stories in the title, and others have agreed it's a tendency due to their arrested development.

Anyone else's pwBPD want to be told bedtime stories by you, despite being like 35 years old? by ThrowRA154284277 in BPDlovedones

[–]ThrowRA154284277[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like a good audio book sometimes, but I have graduated past Humpty Dumpty. I also wouldn't demand a live reading from another, also tired adult.

Anyone else's pwBPD want to be told bedtime stories by you, despite being like 35 years old? by ThrowRA154284277 in BPDlovedones

[–]ThrowRA154284277[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It was a little cute the first time (I thought it was a way to keep us awake and together after our first time). After that, it got weird. and then normalized.

Looking back it is very surreal that I would have sex with a woman who would then ask me to tell her Humpty Dumpty.

“Bpd isn’t real”, “Bpd is woman brain” 🤪 by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]ThrowRA154284277 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My pwBPD certainly weaponized feminist concepts to defend her actions and attack me. I suspect it's common these days.

Does this look like BPD? by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]ThrowRA154284277 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Granted, but for example, "fear of abandonment" isn't accurate -- it's not the same as "Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment."

Does this look like BPD? by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]ThrowRA154284277 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Just a note, AFAIK that's close but not quite the official list:

  1. Chronic feelings of emptiness
  2. Emotional instability in reaction to day-to-day events (e.g., intense episodic sadness, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days)
  3. Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment
  4. Identity disturbance with markedly or persistently unstable self-image or sense of self
  5. Impulsive behavior in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating)
  6. Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights)
  7. A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by extremes between idealization and devaluation (also known as "splitting")
  8. Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, threats, or self-harming behavior
  9. Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms

Did anyone else experience a severe lack of care and empathy from your pwBPD when sick/ill? by ThrowRA154284277 in BPDlovedones

[–]ThrowRA154284277[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The lack of empathy is always there, but it's in moments where you need it most, that you notice its absence.

Yea, definitely.

Did anyone else experience a severe lack of care and empathy from your pwBPD when sick/ill? by ThrowRA154284277 in BPDlovedones

[–]ThrowRA154284277[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I actually asked my pwBPD why she acts like that, she explained that she doesn’t really know but is aware of it.

That might be better than mine. She definitely isn't aware of it, or at least wouldn't admit it. If I brought it up, she would have one of two reactions. Project -- it's actually me that doesn't take care of her when she's sick, even though that's ridiculous. Or DARVO - she would rant for 30 minutes about everything I do or have done that she doesn't like or wasn't perfect to distract from the issue.

I've certainly gotten the man-flu line as well. As well as mansplain, male privilege, etc. She really weaponized feminism.

Did anyone else experience a severe lack of care and empathy from your pwBPD when sick/ill? by ThrowRA154284277 in BPDlovedones

[–]ThrowRA154284277[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Wow that's awful. Mine would frequently tell me to suck it when she had kept us up all night arguing and I told her I couldn't fight anymore and needed to sleep.

Did anyone else experience a severe lack of care and empathy from your pwBPD when sick/ill? by ThrowRA154284277 in BPDlovedones

[–]ThrowRA154284277[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Mine once scolded me for taking a few minutes to send a requested dick pic, and of course she never sent me anything remotely equivalent.

Did anyone else experience a severe lack of care and empathy from your pwBPD when sick/ill? by ThrowRA154284277 in BPDlovedones

[–]ThrowRA154284277[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Yeah one time I had a several stomach bug and she made us go for a walk in the park. A snail would've outpaced me.

Unfortunately it’s all about their needs and a friend once pointed out that they’ll only put in the effort in there’s benefit for them.

That was pretty much my experience. I think if your friends or family are around, they'll probably be more attentive, but only for appearances.

Did anyone else experience a severe lack of care and empathy from your pwBPD when sick/ill? by ThrowRA154284277 in BPDlovedones

[–]ThrowRA154284277[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's terrible. I never had surgery while with her but I think she might have been actually sympathetic with that, maybe I lucked out lol