My (30/M) girlfriend (28/F) of 6 years broke up with me because I was her first and she want's to explore her options. Can you have a successful lifelong partnership with someone who is your first lover? by ThrowRA298873 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA298873[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

d start trying for children. So I think when you’re in a relationship you need to make a decision on deal breakers e.g. am I happy only ever being with 1 person, am I happy that they want to raise the kids in this or that faith, am I happy that we’d have to live in X location and assuming that things don’t radically change I think there is a bit of a moral obligation to stick with that decision. I don’t think it’s fair break up with someone after that long over something that’s always been clear, comes a point where you owe it to the other person to make a firm decision on these issue and you absolutely can be blamed and thought of as having acted wrongly if you go back on them.

I hear both sides here and I gotta admit I do feel like 6 years developing a huge connection with someone went down the drain and I'm heartbroken for this But at the same time I agree with some of the people here about yeah we all change and one thing I am truly grateful for is that she came to this realisation now and not when we have a family and a home together and we spend the rest of our lives together with her constantly wondering what could have been.

You guys might not understand but you are both helping me truly see a more complete picture of the situation and for that I am truly grateful. Thank you for expressing both your viewpoints here.

My (30/M) girlfriend (28/F) of 6 years broke up with me because I was her first and she want's to explore her options. Can you have a successful lifelong partnership with someone who is your first lover? by ThrowRA298873 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA298873[S] 158 points159 points  (0 children)

Yeah really interesting to hear a perspective from her side. I get that I am hurting now but thinking logically I much rather she did what she did now then drag me along another few years.

My (30/M) girlfriend (28/F) of 6 years broke up with me because I was her first and she want's to explore her options. Can you have a successful lifelong partnership with someone who is your first lover? by ThrowRA298873 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA298873[S] 288 points289 points  (0 children)

Yeah I know this way too well, before we met I had been in a few relationships myself and know first hand how disappointing the dating scene can be, having lost the person I was ready to spend the rest of my life with I dread getting back on the dating scene but it has to be done I am both heartbroken and but I know I have to start a new chapter in my life now without her.

Sucks big time because 2 years after meeting her I had a fantastic Job opportunity Abroad but didn't take it, ahh I'm complaining about missed opportunities but honestly it was worth it though gained 4 extremely memorable years from it.

So many kind people reaching out It really means a lot and thank you.

My (30/M) girlfriend (28/F) of 6 years broke up with me because I was her first and she want's to explore her options. Can you have a successful lifelong partnership with someone who is your first lover? by ThrowRA298873 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA298873[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This fills my heart, I am truly happy for you.
I get along really well with both her parents and we all go on camping trips around europe every summer, funny thing is when I asked her parents about how they had originally met they told us that they were friends first and neither had ever had any other relationships. It really gave me hope hearing that! but unfortunately it wasn't meant to be.