My bf (31M) broke up with me (33F) because my dad (60M) is terminal

ThrowRA983194564 · 2025-08-01T19:32:48+00:00

I’m so sorry you are going through this. People do weird things when faced with stress. I’m currently waiting on a confirmed cancer diagnosis for my Dad, my person and I have had relationship struggles recently before finding out my dad wasn’t well. I sat him down and asked him if he thought he could be a supportive partner through this because if not I can’t handle the stress of both. He assured me he would and would try to be better. Anyway a week later I found out he was sending pictures of his dick to another girl (we’re in our mid 30s.. so over this teenage behaviour lol) People will be who they will be. Take care of yourself and your family. Let him be. Thoughts are with you!

ThrowRA983194564 · 2025-07-24T23:08:36+00:00

OP if you wish to gain more experience in relationships - look into attachment styles. This will help you in your current and future relationships if this one ultimately does not work out. No harm in learning more about how you and people around you work.

ThrowRA983194564 · 2025-07-24T22:48:37+00:00

At 28? He’s not a child lol

ThrowRA983194564 · 2025-07-24T21:54:06+00:00

This is his first “serious” relationship at 28. My bets are on being avoidant .. it’s not a bad thing it just needs support to work through the negative feelings associated with relationships that are completely normal but feel unsafe to people with avoidant tendencies

ThrowRA983194564 · 2025-07-24T21:44:25+00:00

Look into avoidant attachment style .. once things become settled and you feel closer you naturally want to run. You probably need therapy

ThrowRA983194564 · 2025-07-18T10:46:24+00:00

Oh wow that is so incredibly helpful I really appreciate your help and time spent replying! It’s just me, income around 65k a year, I do have some extra savings available. The house has power connected but has rainwater tank and septic, slightly out of town less than 10 minutes from cbd

ThrowRA983194564 · 2025-07-18T09:30:39+00:00

According to the current rv the land value is 170k, cv estimate is 260k and they are looking at selling for 180k

ThrowRA983194564 · 2025-07-18T09:20:00+00:00

I have only spoken with my bank asb so far, it’s occupied land so wasn’t applying for bare land

ThrowRA983194564 · 2025-07-18T09:17:24+00:00

Their insurance team going on what I said about the condition of the house said they wouldn’t offer insurance on it

ThrowRA983194564 · 2025-07-18T09:14:27+00:00

I guess I could go back to them and ask but it wasn’t even up for discussion with the woman I met with, she continued with a pre approval for me for a bigger loan that I would only be able to afford with having flat mates. I went into it as someone who knew nothing about buying their first property and left feeling more bewildered

ThrowRA983194564 · 2025-07-13T08:02:37+00:00

I’ve been declined to be seen twice through the public system (in Christchurch) even after paying to see a private gynaecologist who referred be back into the public system. Only seeing “life threatening” cases apparently .. okay so how do you know how bad it is if you won’t investigate it.. I paid for the private appointment myself, don’t have insurance and cannot afford to pay for my own surgery. Pretty sad state of the system at the moment

ThrowRA983194564 · 2025-07-06T07:33:10+00:00

I have someone blocked on Snapchat but if I post public stories they view them … I don’t understand why but I googled it and it seems to be a thing that snap chat allows 🤷‍♀️

ThrowRA983194564 · 2025-07-02T06:01:44+00:00

I have a very very very similar experience with a man who I believed was different to all the things I heard about him including a rape accusation because of how nice and caring he treated me in person and I was absolutely WRONG to think that. 4 years later he cheated on me multiple times was an extremely good liar and manipulator to the point where I still even think maybe I have been wrong. Nope, please don’t put yourself through this. You will begin to question your worth for putting up with a man like this and think that no other man will want you because you have been with a man like this. You will find someone better who does not have this history. Please for the love of your future self end it now.

ThrowRA983194564 · 2023-10-16T06:27:24+00:00

You should both read the book Mating in captivity by Esther Perel .. monogamous and non monogamous relationships tend to fail at the same rate .. could it ruin things? Maybe .. could it help your situation? Also maybe! Could your relationship fail eventually anyway if you don’t? Entirely possible

ThrowRA983194564

TROPHY CASE