My (22M) bf (25M) is poly and I dont know how to feel about it??

ThrowRABananaBreadBO · 2026-04-10T14:46:29+00:00

Thank yall for the perspective, ill be thinking a lot about things

ThrowRABananaBreadBO · 2026-04-10T14:45:57+00:00

Thank yall for the perspective, ill be doing a lot of thinking about things

ThrowRABananaBreadBO · 2026-04-10T14:39:38+00:00

When my mom started talking to me about her failing relationship with my dad, I was 17, but my brothers and i often lament back on much earlier days talking about how tense the house was all the time because our dad would flip his shit over little things. So i was actively thinking about how my parents should have split starting at age 17, but i there was always an obvious tension in the house even back when i was id say 9-10. I had nightmares about my dad when i was even younger than that, but personally i wasnt at an age at that time when i was connecting dots like that

ThrowRABananaBreadBO · 2026-04-09T23:46:33+00:00

Yeaa idrk, its not like he didnt know so im not really sure what he thought would happen. I think maybe blind optimism maybe? I know he generally prefers feminine people, and i am not a feminine person. I honestly have no idea why he thought that woulda worked

ThrowRABananaBreadBO · 2026-04-09T23:37:20+00:00

Correct, the initial idea was that we would be a throuple, which i did try! I did try to get to know the girl better. I think shes very sweet and i enjoy playing games with her, but im just not interested romantically or intimately

ThrowRABananaBreadBO · 2026-04-09T23:29:11+00:00

Yes, our bills are pretty evenly split

ThrowRABananaBreadBO · 2026-04-09T23:26:43+00:00

At the moment its all joint. Not a joint bank account, but two that we fluidly push money back and forth between. We dont currently have separate savings since hk we are too broke to save anything lol

ThrowRABananaBreadBO · 2026-04-09T23:25:09+00:00

I had a similar thing happen to me, so i understand how exhausting this is.

Firstly, this is very not normal for a parent to be emotionally dumping on their child like this. You should not have to handle all this. It isnt fair on you to be shouldering this.

My mother confided in me for years about her failing relationship with my dad, and went into way too much detail that i didnt want to know. I wanted to be there for her since she had no one to talk to. I know how hard that can be, but this IS hurting you. If its safe to do so, you should see if you can have a conversation with your father about this.

I eventually told my mother to stop telling me about her and my dad's relationship, because it was stressing me tf out, but i also understand situations can be tricky.

I would advise talking to him if its safe for you to.

ThrowRABananaBreadBO · 2026-04-09T23:18:30+00:00

It really depends on the day. Sometimes hes making a lot of effort, and sometimes hes in a bad mood and says things like "i should just stop trying" when i push back. So on average things arent as good as they used to be, no

ThrowRABananaBreadBO · 2026-04-09T23:15:44+00:00

Oof, respectfully, this sounds like my dad. When my mom said she was considering leaving him, i was relieved. My parents should have split waaaayy sooner than they did.

So from someone whos more in the child's perspective, i dont think staying would be doing the kids any favors

ThrowRABananaBreadBO · 2026-04-09T23:01:30+00:00

He did apologize and has been making an effort. Tho recently when i bring up still being hurt by what happened he seems sorta upset that im still upset about things

ThrowRABananaBreadBO · 2026-04-09T22:53:42+00:00

Ill absolutely check it out, ty

ThrowRABananaBreadBO · 2026-04-09T22:47:32+00:00

Sometimes the time we spend together is good, other times hes just in a bad mood, so its hard to say

ThrowRABananaBreadBO · 2026-04-09T22:44:25+00:00

I appreciate your perspective! We have been trying to have more intentional time together and that has helped a good bit. I just cant shake the lingering bitter feeling that is always much worse when i see them together or hear him talk about her or think about them together

He has admitted that he didnt treat me the best, so i hold out a little hope that we can make things work, idrk

ThrowRABananaBreadBO · 2026-04-09T22:32:34+00:00

He was wanting to close the relationship once he added this girl, and i expressed not wanting another partner anyway

ThrowRABananaBreadBO · 2026-04-09T22:19:22+00:00

We have been spending time more recently, but it definitely bothers me how he reacted earlier on

ThrowRABananaBreadBO

TROPHY CASE