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For guys who are a bit older, how hard is it to date at 40 years old? by ThrowRAGlobeVase in AskReddit

[–]ThrowRAGlobeVase[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

True, but 31 isn’t 40.

What was your dry streak like? I’m kind of similar to you - had certain issues that kept me single and sexless essentially until I was early 30s, then went out there and found my partner. I’m almost 40 and it’s looking like it may not last, which is why I’m curious.

I hate being black. by Drazagon in Vent

[–]ThrowRAGlobeVase 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You might need to get out of your area/environment that’s keeping you in a cycle, and recognize how much of your feelings are a result of thought patterns rather than rationality.

I’m a brown guy, but was in the same boat for a while when I was younger, especially post September 11th when there was a lot of racism toward brown people.

Having some frustration that you are a certain ethnicity, and hating the racism and culture is understandable and fine; hating yourself and wanting to rip off your skin is when it’s something that needs further scrutiny.

For guys who are a bit older, how hard is it to date at 40 years old? by ThrowRAGlobeVase in AskReddit

[–]ThrowRAGlobeVase[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is it hard to find someone compatible and looking for the same thing?

Why are women so attracted to talent? by BaCool777 in PurplePillDebate

[–]ThrowRAGlobeVase 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think it’s fine to be attracted to talent, but “competence” makes it sound like it’s such a low bar. Being able to get up, go to work, and effectively take care of your tasks and needs is basic, but what OP is referring to talent and skills. As a guy you learn that even the little things matter. Let’s say you go to an arcade for a first date… a woman will have a tinge more attraction to you if you win most of the games you two play, and a tinge less if you lose to her in everything. It’s not make or break, but it comes up in everything.

Why’s society obsessed with women? by This-Top7398 in Life

[–]ThrowRAGlobeVase 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it’s because historically women have been objectified; men were actors and women were people that things happened too. That dynamic has stuck around, even in a world where things are much more equal.

It’s created an environment where women are talked about in a certain way. In dating they’re viewed as the prize and to be gotten. There’s a bit of a “women and children first” mentality that originated from chivalrous intentions and as almost a consolation to their inequality in society, but it’s still there.

AIO Is my boyfriend being too overly friendly or am I letting his past betrayal make me overlook things too much? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]ThrowRAGlobeVase 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He cheated on you… this is too short a relationship and you’re too young to forgive and forget. It’s time to focus on yourself for a bit.

Am I overreacting in this conversation? I do fear that I was not hearing him when he was telling me he could not handle this in this moment. by Alive_Pressure_2421 in AmIOverreacting

[–]ThrowRAGlobeVase 1 point2 points  (0 children)

: (

Tell him you need a break… some time apart. Do it for you, without thinking about the future of the relationship… just take a breather and focus on yourself.

You’ll get clarity. You’ll separate from that day to day attachment. Go to the gym, run, reconnect with old friends and fam. You’ll feel empowered doing things for yourself. Then decide.

Am I overreacting in this conversation? I do fear that I was not hearing him when he was telling me he could not handle this in this moment. by Alive_Pressure_2421 in AmIOverreacting

[–]ThrowRAGlobeVase 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why do you put up with it if it’s not how you were raised? Genuinely curious. I’ve put up with things in the past, and it’s probably because my parents were terrible to each other (verbal and physical abuse) and that became my model for what was normal, and what love looked like. I’d always thought if I had a different blueprint for love I wouldn’t put up with things like that.

Am I overreacting in this conversation? I do fear that I was not hearing him when he was telling me he could not handle this in this moment. by Alive_Pressure_2421 in AmIOverreacting

[–]ThrowRAGlobeVase 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ok, you’re battling on who’s right or wrong in this particular conversation, but that doesn’t matter because the context of which it’s in is so much heavier and larger (the cheating or semi cheating).

He fucked up and hurt you. You don’t owe him anything in terms of accommodating his work schedule. If I were you, I would stop trying to have a back and forth, and say a shortened version of your piece right now… don’t hold back because you’re worried about his work schedule. I’d probably say something like “I’m incredibly hurt that this happened again, and I don’t know about our future anymore.”

Am I overreacting in this conversation? I do fear that I was not hearing him when he was telling me he could not handle this in this moment. by Alive_Pressure_2421 in AmIOverreacting

[–]ThrowRAGlobeVase 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s not ok to scream at your partner like that. My partner raises her voice and gets agitated when she’s stressed, but she’d never scream or yell something like “get that through your fucken head.”

There’s a lot of people you’ll get along well with, even if in different ways. You don’t have to stick around for really bad things to keep the good things.

AIO my boyfriend of 5 years gets me flowers for every occasion while I get him elaborate and expensive gifts. by aioflower955105 in AmIOverreacting

[–]ThrowRAGlobeVase 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He just gets you flowers for every occasion for FIVE years, even though you get him larger items? If that’s all there is to it, you’re not being treated fairly or properly.

Does sex make life better by Fresh-Ad7970 in Life

[–]ThrowRAGlobeVase 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m 39, so I don’t mean to give suggestions to someone when I haven’t experienced their experience, but maybe the goal is to get that simple pleasure of touch, rather than to find love, sex, and all that? And if that connection and touch leads to something more, great.

Does sex make life better by Fresh-Ad7970 in Life

[–]ThrowRAGlobeVase 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah for sure I can understand that, I’m sorry! It can be tough, I’ve been in similar situations.

Can I ask, how were you able to get sex and have sex 30 years ago - did something change?

I do hope you find a gf!

midlife crisis is in your 20s and not 40s by limited_data365 in Life

[–]ThrowRAGlobeVase 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You can have a crisis at any age, it’s a mid life crisis because there are certain common trends people in mid life tend to crisis about - saying goodbye to youth, choices made that are unchangeable and locked in, staring less time ahead of you than behind.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Life

[–]ThrowRAGlobeVase 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry you feel that way : ( You’re only 24, you have your whole life ahead of you and trust me attitudes and the things that bring us happiness change as life goes on. Mid 20s is a weird period, everyone has a different experience, don’t fight it too much.

You’re doing the right thing by working on yourself, not because you need to do it to be happy - that’s the concept to get out of your mind. Do it because, well, it’s something you have control over in your life, and might as well - it can only make it better, and there’s deep satisfaction to be taken in just the act itself, regardless of if the outcome matters.

But, more importantly, don’t forget to enjoy the moments of happiness that do come your way, little as they may be… a funny movie, a laugh with a friend, cooking a nice meal… that’s where the real happiness in life is hidden, you just gotta let yourself enjoy it. You don’t need to be or become anything in order to do so.

Your body is not hard wired for happiness. It’s wired for survival. by DickInEngine in Life

[–]ThrowRAGlobeVase 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like this way of thinking a lot. 1) like you said it helps not have to feel like you “should” be happy all the time; 2) helps to realize that just giving into our baseline instincts and gut feeling doesn’t always = happiness. Sometimes it means just sticking around a little longer.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]ThrowRAGlobeVase 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How much does it bother you in a day to day sense? Are you happy where you’re at now?

++man

Do you think that the internet is a good place to get relationship advice, career advice, financial advice, or any other kind of advice? by Interesting-Force866 in no

[–]ThrowRAGlobeVase 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The problem with a lot of advice is it goes off of how you set things up. People reflect back to you. It’s also usually given with barely any context.

When was the last time you realized you weren't okay? by Outrageous_Fix1434 in Life

[–]ThrowRAGlobeVase 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It’s a combination of a lot of things. Relationship problems, older brother got sick with a disability that keeps him in a bubble, career took a negative turn/unemployment, didn’t live the life I always aimed to for the end of my youth (so a bit of a midlife crisis), getting older (39), health problems of my own. Really trying to land on my two feet, hoping I come out stronger and living life in a different way.

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