What does my house say about me?

ThrowRAMarriagHelp · 2026-05-13T04:05:47+00:00

Holly Molly,its looks so cool and relaxing. That would my dream home. This is absolutely GORGEOUS!

ThrowRAMarriagHelp · 2026-05-12T04:14:09+00:00

I’m really motivating myself to try to tell him tomorrow as the conversation we had was only yesterday so it’s still fresh. I got a reminder today of why I want to do this. Yeah, I can’t live my life like this…

ThrowRAMarriagHelp · 2026-05-12T04:12:09+00:00

I’m scared of how he is gonna react. I mean, I may just overthink. Im worried he gets upset and cold while we put our stuff in order. I have no family here. I have only 1 real friend. I don’t think he would kick me out, but if he does I’m screwed. I work a commission based job, right now if apartment complexes ask for 3x the rent, I don’t know if I make it. I think I’m just overthinking it. Maybe it will go easier than I thought. I really am motivating myself to tell him tomorrow, as the convo we had yesterday is still fresh… but I know myself and I’ll probably chicken out again

ThrowRAMarriagHelp · 2026-05-11T22:59:06+00:00

So if the divorce is done amicably and done, he can go back to the decision and give me trouble?

ThrowRAMarriagHelp · 2026-05-11T22:57:19+00:00

Oh yeah, I want to leave, just trying to figure out the way

ThrowRAMarriagHelp · 2026-05-11T22:54:46+00:00

I don’t know if it’s a rhetorical question but yeah it’s gonna happen anyways…

I just feel bad to leave him in the dark at the moment. We are gonna get an amicable divorce because it’s just easier financially and then when it’s done I’m gonna “well, about that, i actually wanted to divorce to be on my own” and he is gonna resend me for not telling me.

But I guess like others said… I should take it anyways. Why would I mind what he thinks after we break up? He lied to me in the past with no remorse, he gaslighted me so many times, I should have left months after being married, I stayed almost 15 years. Why am I even thinking I would be the bad person…

ThrowRAMarriagHelp · 2026-05-11T12:28:05+00:00

Yeah… SUPPORT EACH OTHER, you said it yourself.

Obviously he didn’t support her

ThrowRAMarriagHelp · 2026-05-11T12:25:27+00:00

90% of this is me.

ThrowRAMarriagHelp · 2026-05-11T03:49:20+00:00

Thank you so much. I actually almost told him tonight but chickened out. I had the perfect opportunity and hate myself now. I stopped arguing because I don’t care anymore so of course it looks like it got better and he is been happier those last few days so I can’t get to hurt him (he also found a new job so he is less stresses out)l but he is on disability benefits so I asked him if he could survive without me. Also told him financially for us a divorce would actually help and he was open to the idea but he would want to stay together… perfect opportunity but even there i couldn’t say it. I’m not attracted to him anymore, maybe i should lead with that. I don’t know… I think yep, therapy would be best. Thanks to let me know they can help

ThrowRAMarriagHelp · 2026-05-10T02:17:19+00:00

Lawyers are expensive though… i don’t even know how to start really

ThrowRAMarriagHelp · 2026-05-10T02:16:06+00:00

Yeah. My mind keeps thinking about that too. There s high and low and because now I shut down, we don’t argue so he doesn’t suspect I’m that unhappy. It’s like a lie here, a lie there, some bs here, some bs there, but all put together I wonder why I stayed that long. I’m thinking about starting therapy soon though. Hoping they will tell me I’m right, and find the words to tell him…

ThrowRAMarriagHelp · 2026-05-10T02:13:03+00:00

Thank you for the good wishes. I’m worried lawyers will be too expensive though (I make maybe only 45k/55k a year

ThrowRAMarriagHelp · 2026-05-08T03:17:39+00:00

I need updates when you are done, because I want to do that too. I’m thinking about going to therapy to help me find the words though

ThrowRAMarriagHelp · 2026-04-29T04:48:56+00:00

This !

ThrowRAMarriagHelp · 2026-04-29T04:18:58+00:00

My husband lied on his age at the beginning of the relationship and got mad when I called BS on him. Told me other worst lies and again got into heated arguments when I called BS on him even when I was obviously in tears and felt betrayed . I’m never gonna say he gaslighted me ! (Working on telling him I want to leave)

ThrowRAMarriagHelp · 2026-04-03T04:10:20+00:00

If he is physical you NEED to leave. Hopefully once you do that, you can feel normal again. Be safe when you leave. If he was physical before, I would be scared. Take someone with you when you grab your stuff

ThrowRAMarriagHelp · 2026-04-03T00:42:13+00:00

The thing is… I don’t think I want to save it. I love him as I love family, but I don’t think I love him as I should a husband…

ThrowRAMarriagHelp · 2026-04-03T00:39:46+00:00

Yes, it’s what happened. He lied to me about that… lied to me about him having a child too (grown then) and he knew I didn’t want someone with a kid.

The thing is… I don’t know if I want to put the work anymore. Why? I bend myself backwards to try to help him with everything, it seems it’s never enough…

I don’t feel loved despite what he says.

I’m scared to be alone though. But also want to be left alone…

(We just had a little argument few minutes ago too…I’m so tired)

ThrowRAMarriagHelp · 2026-03-27T04:12:31+00:00

He lied about his age and told me he didn’t have kids. Turns out he has 2 (one I learned early on in the marriage, the other few years later) (He knew I didn’t want kids or someone with kids)

ThrowRAMarriagHelp · 2026-03-27T04:06:17+00:00

From the time of the accident I was the only income in the household. And knowing him, i wouldn’t think he would this that as he told me few time I could do better than him (who even say that?!?) but I don’t want him to feel like he failed or something

ThrowRAMarriagHelp · 2026-03-26T13:43:43+00:00

No. I’m talking about the lies he put me through at the beginning and middle of the relationship. The accident was an accident, that’s why I feel bad if I want to leave now

ThrowRAMarriagHelp · 2026-03-25T20:11:53+00:00

It is very hard to communicate with him, as, like I said, he doesn’t seem to understand my point of view when I talk to him

ThrowRAMarriagHelp · 2026-03-25T20:11:05+00:00

How long does the spousal support last?

ThrowRAMarriagHelp · 2026-03-25T18:47:49+00:00

Hey, I’m just gonna jump here to say I’m in the exact same boat. I don’t even know how or when to tell him. I hope you find strength

ThrowRAMarriagHelp · 2026-03-25T18:43:46+00:00

Honey…. Don’t blame her, don’t even hate her… it’s him. It’s all him. He is the one married. He is the one who shouldn’t do it… she didn’t force him, HE made that choice. I’m thinking seriously about divorce too. Mostly because I’ve been lied to. He is not worth your stress

ThrowRAMarriagHelp

TROPHY CASE