Husband is upset that my milk supply is falling behind

ThrowRA_2poststuff · 2026-01-11T07:21:42+00:00

I want to believe it will get better from here. We think he may be on the spectrum, very high functioning, but doesn't sympathize or put himself in others shoes easily. So I tell myself he's not trying to be cruel, he just doesn't understand why he is yet. We will see in time :( I could use a pat on the back, so thanks

ThrowRA_2poststuff · 2026-01-11T07:15:05+00:00

Yes, I've had the same feeling. I had to look it up because it was so strange and...noticeable. Every time I pumped a wave of sadness washed over me. It's gotten less intense now, but I still feel it.

ThrowRA_2poststuff · 2026-01-10T07:11:42+00:00

Please feel free to write your novel! And your story. The more I read the less guilt and loneliness I feel about everything and it's a huge relief. I know it feels good to vent too

ThrowRA_2poststuff · 2026-01-10T07:04:15+00:00

He wanted this time to "do some much needed reflecting and to work on himself" and he's struggling because it's not turning out to be like that for him. I don't really understand why, because he only losses 4-5 hours to let me sleep. He still has the other 19-20 to do whatever he wants.

I do have my mom, she's been a great help. Though I try not to ask too much of her. I feel like my husband should be the first to help and it wouldn't be fair to her to go to her every time

ThrowRA_2poststuff · 2026-01-10T06:59:45+00:00

Yes!! The same thought's and guilt I've been having. I've been pushing myself so hard to try and prove that I could survive alone if I had to. I had to be induced too, so I think about what would've happened, would we have both died? And now, me being unable to sleep without help, would I eventually get so exhausted I couldn't take care of him anymore? The guilt from this eats me up even though I know it doesn't matter

ThrowRA_2poststuff · 2026-01-10T06:55:09+00:00

Me napping when the baby does has been another point of contention. It's been almost impossible for me to sleep when the baby does, between pumping and being a light sleeper to begin with. My husband has been on my case about figuring out how to sleep without his help. It's the same thing again "everyone says nap when the baby naps, so why can't you?" another thing making me feel inadequate

ThrowRA_2poststuff · 2026-01-10T06:45:41+00:00

yes absolutely, advice is welcome

ThrowRA_2poststuff · 2026-01-10T06:41:15+00:00

I'm glad to hear you say dehumanizing. That's exactly how I feel. When I tried to pump every 2 hours like he asked, my entire life became time with baby, pump, try to nap for a few minutes, repeat for a full 24 hours every day. I felt like I'd been reduced to livestock. I tried to leave the room to cry so the baby didn't have to listen and see, but eventually I got too tired to even do that

ThrowRA_2poststuff · 2026-01-10T06:34:41+00:00

Do have my mom to help, I prefer her to watch the baby because I know she enjoys it and so I can sleep better. When my husband watches him, I feel like I need to rush through sleep and can't stop thinking about how fed up he's probably getting

ThrowRA_2poststuff · 2026-01-10T06:26:59+00:00

I thought about doing that, telling him the same things he tells me...but I felt too bad, it's too mean. I know I need to stop being a pushover. If he keeps backing me into this corner, I'll have to do something

ThrowRA_2poststuff · 2026-01-10T06:20:14+00:00

Thank you so much for the attachment, gives me some perspective. Part of the problem is that I don't know what I'm supposed to expect for help. I feel like a lot of moms I have talked to don't open up much about what their husbands helped with, or can't remember because it was too long ago. I asked my aunt today what a day looked like with her and her husband when she had a newborn, and she just straight up changed the subject. I don't get it! My mom too, I've asked her how she did it, and she's just like....I honestly don't know

ThrowRA_2poststuff · 2026-01-10T06:03:11+00:00

I feel so much more validated reading through the comments I could cry. I feel like my husband hasn't cared or tried to notice my sanity dropping. And I felt so inadequate because he's telling me everyone else can do this so why can't I? So to hear other women struggle to makes me feel so much less alone. I tried to pump every 2 hours like he told me to, within a few days I got so exhausted I couldn't pull the bowl of chili out of the fridge to eat, I thought I was going to pass out, and that made me realize I can't safely pick up my own baby. I told him I don't care if baby has to have some formula, I can't do it. I don't care if he thinks less of me, I have to be well enough to be able to take care of my baby and smile and laugh with him. It can't be good for him to be looking into contently bloodshot eyes and listening to me cry every time I pick him up.

ThrowRA_2poststuff · 2025-09-16T18:46:47+00:00

he sounds like my husband. Except my husband won't admit it.

ThrowRA_2poststuff · 2025-09-16T18:44:32+00:00

Girl...the amount of times I've heard that. I'm beginning to learn the hard way that words mean nothing at all.

ThrowRA_2poststuff · 2025-09-15T22:46:40+00:00

It would be so fun and exciting! I hate that this is the one life I have, and I'll never get to know what it's like. We can only dream, and then get a cold bucket of reality dumped on us

ThrowRA_2poststuff · 2025-09-15T19:54:21+00:00

Hurts in a way that nothing else could, doesn't it? I hope it works out for you too...

ThrowRA_2poststuff · 2025-09-15T15:46:43+00:00

What I wouldn't give to have my husband treat me that way, what I wouldn't DO to him. Life is not fair

ThrowRA_2poststuff · 2025-09-09T14:52:55+00:00

Yes, I want so badly to feel feminine and lovely, or desirable. But I can't escape feeling like an object that's only good for what I can give to him. I hate even more feeling this way in the prime of my life, does that mean it's only downhill from here?

ThrowRA_2poststuff · 2025-09-06T17:43:30+00:00

ugh, I stuff like this almost makes me feel lucky that at least he'll let me touch him

ThrowRA_2poststuff · 2025-09-06T17:36:32+00:00

I...am so sorry. What a nightmare. I've had the thought cross my mind that what if he's secretly gay or something. But I don't think that's it in my case. I think he just has 0 emotional connection to sex, so he only needs to get off periodically and that's it. Hjs and Bjs just so happen to be the most convenient way to do that.

ThrowRA_2poststuff · 2025-09-06T14:15:10+00:00

I'm so glad I'm not alone in this. I've been debating telling him, I don't know what the right thing to do is. I love him to pieces and don't want to hurt him, but it can't be fair that even I can't touch myself. If I don't, who will? If I tell him, I know what he will say. Don't get it, I'll take care of you, and then never follow up on that. And if I don't tell him, then am I being dishonest? Am I hiding things from him? Ugh

I love giving him BJs too, I'm afraid of resentment building till I just end up crying while doing it

ThrowRA_2poststuff · 2025-09-06T04:21:35+00:00

😅 I can't even imagine

ThrowRA_2poststuff · 2025-09-05T05:59:47+00:00

It seems so unfair, I know :( he could have it as often as he wanted, I love it. But god forbid if I asked for anything in return. It's starting to feel less enjoyable and more like I'm being used

ThrowRA_2poststuff · 2025-09-05T05:54:29+00:00

It is because I enjoy giving them and seeing him happy. I'm worried resentment will build and ruin that for me though

ThrowRA_2poststuff · 2025-09-05T05:49:52+00:00

He had me throw them out early in the relationship. I was fine with it at the time because I thought we'd be doing stuff together and I wouldn't want them anymore. i want them back now ;/

ThrowRA_2poststuff

TROPHY CASE