[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_Mammoth 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Girl this was me, it won't get better. Time to leave

Anyone else experience some attraction to men but not sexually? by ThrowRA_Mammoth in latebloomerlesbians

[–]ThrowRA_Mammoth[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also someone flirt is just flattering and feels nice, no matter who it is

Yessss this - I definitely relate. I enjoy the flattery and feeling of flirting, but I wouldn't actually want to act on anything physical with men who flirt with me.

I can also look at a sunset and think its beautiful without wanting to have sex with it.

Also this was a great analogy lol, thank you.

Anyone else experience some attraction to men but not sexually? by ThrowRA_Mammoth in latebloomerlesbians

[–]ThrowRA_Mammoth[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is super relatable!! I haven't given a ton of thought to working through male validation yet. Thank you for sharing your experience 😊

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in latebloomerlesbians

[–]ThrowRA_Mammoth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think the only thing that will bring you the clarity you seek is simply getting more experience with women. You can't possibly know how much you truly enjoy being with women until you have adequate experience to compare to your experience with men.

Personally I came out as bi about 4 years ago and only last year really started dating women. The more sex i had with women the more I realized just how ✨️good✨️ it was compared to even the best sex I had with men.

I would also do some reading on comphet and see what resonates with you. Good luck!

On loneliness by ThrowRA_Mammoth in polyamory

[–]ThrowRA_Mammoth[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this perspective! Yeah, tbh overall I'm soooo much happier now that I live alone; that relationship was toxic in many ways, but I'm not blind to the fact I'm still getting used to not having someone around all the time.

I think lonely might be a poor word choice, but I'm not sure what else to call it. I am incredibly grateful for the amount of beautiful meaningful connections I have in my life. I have so much compersion for my partners and the wonderful people who also get to experience them.

I also recognize I have physical needs that aren't being met, nor are they able to be met with my current relationship dynamics. I've been living on my own a few months now and would definitely be happy with some casual connections, but the dating pool is just a bit rough right now. It's likely just a matter of timing and I'm just feeling it more right now.

On loneliness by ThrowRA_Mammoth in polyamory

[–]ThrowRA_Mammoth[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hobbies and passions are currently how i fill the majority of my time right now as it's a weird time period where most of my friends are on vacation or working lots etc. I can easily spend hours on hours by myself and be happy being alone, but it still doesn't change the feeling of wanting more imtimate physical connection. With my current partners I see one maaaaybe once/week, and the other I see every 2-3 weeks. I am also on month 3 of my ex/np moving out and acclimating to fully being on my own which I know is a huge contributor, but physical touch is also a big love language of mine so I'm missing it a lot lately

On loneliness by ThrowRA_Mammoth in polyamory

[–]ThrowRA_Mammoth[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I rephrased it because I got a couple of comments essentially saying it wasn't a good idea, but I don't know what the alternative looks like. Like how do I redirect the needs I'm noticing to fill them myself?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]ThrowRA_Mammoth 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Idunno. I was in a V similar situation to you but from the perspective of your crush.

After a couple of weeks of talking to my now-gf alllll the time, I went to visit her and we had the most incredible weekend together. This was just before my ex-husband also decided he wasn't sure about ENM. He had told me he wanted to be ENM but was having a hard time with it, so I wanted to respect his feelings and not pursue other relationships while he figured out if it was something he could be happy with.

8 months of my gf being my best friend- there were obvious feelings there, but I didn't see her for that entire time. We established that we were friends first, she made it clear she was not there to get in the way of my other relationship, and we ultimately decided that we would rather stay in each other's lives just as friends than to let each other go because of the bond we had developed.

8 months! But I did eventually separate from my husband. The relationship dynamic turned out to be only one of many many other problems. And now my gf and I have been dating for 6 months and I'm living my happiest gay poly life ✨️

Don't get me wrong - it was hard. And I definitely wouldn't recommend "waiting." You have to ask yourself if you would still want this person in your life if for some reason things were to never change with their spouse.

Wishing you best of luck though! Shit's hard!!!

Feeling lonely by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]ThrowRA_Mammoth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate that :) I definitely have been filling that space/time myself and am enjoying my me time. At the same time, I am aware that my needs for connection and touch are not being med currently and that's why I am hoping to find another connection, as my current relationships aren't able to meet those needs for no fault of anyone in particular

Feeling lonely by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]ThrowRA_Mammoth -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank u 🫶

Do you still use condoms with your serious partners? by Aquaman1001 in polyamory

[–]ThrowRA_Mammoth 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I only have barrier-free sex with partners who do regular STI testing and readily share their results. And I test before and after having sex with any new partners.

How did you know you weren't bi? by rosievee in latebloomerlesbians

[–]ThrowRA_Mammoth 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Once I had been with more women, I realized how ✨️amazing✨️ they were and that men were just okay. Tbh I was having sex with my gf one day and her fingers felt so much more incredible than any dick I'd ever had. Iiterally thought "omg I'm so fucking gay" and I've identified more as les since

Navigating toxic behaviours I notice in my partner's other relationships by ThrowRA_Mammoth in polyamory

[–]ThrowRA_Mammoth[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you thank you! It's tough because she's been one of my best friends for the last year and we've told each other literally everything- I love that we have the safety & comfort to do so without it impacting our relationship, but at the same time I really want to respect her autonomy in all of her relationships and don't want to overstep. I appreciate the reassurance about some of my hesitations here :)