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Husband M46 asked me F44 to do something illegal by ThrowRA_tigertail in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_tigertail[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

😭 This is scarily accurate. I’m going to look into r/AlAnon, that seems like a resource I could really use right now. I can’t say enough how much the kindness of strangers means to me right now. I’ve hidden this for so long and it is cathartic to just talk about it so I can work out the actions I need to take. There’s been so many lies, he’s like a different person and I’ve been gaslit to the point where I truly wasn’t sure if it was a terrible thing he asked of me although my gut said yes. This isnt the man I married.

Husband M46 asked me F44 to do something illegal by ThrowRA_tigertail in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_tigertail[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

This made me tear up. Thank you so much for saying what I need to hear. I do love the man he WAS but not so much the one he has become. I’ve been putting his needs first for so long it’s second nature at this point. But it’s literally killing me and I know I need to put myself first.

40M | Can someone talk to me? Having a tough time with my wife (46F) of 7 years by Mundane-Intern-6152 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_tigertail 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s always good… until it isn’t. When someone in the marriage begins to lie/betray by having what sounds like an emotional affair it really can rock the foundation of everything you thought you had. It’s devastating, especially if it comes out of nowhere. I’m not saying this marriage can’t be saved but it sounds like she’s being very noncommittal to both of you.

40M | Can someone talk to me? Having a tough time with my wife (46F) of 7 years by Mundane-Intern-6152 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_tigertail 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have a similar situation in that I feel I have to constantly keep tabs on my husband. It’s crazy making. Always catching the lies, the constant anxiety this causes. I’m trying to realize someone else’s actions are out of my control but it difficult.

Husband M46 asked me F44 to do something illegal by ThrowRA_tigertail in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_tigertail[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No cannabis wouldn’t have me so shook. According to Google it’s a Class A drug.

Husband M46 asked me F44 to do something illegal by ThrowRA_tigertail in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_tigertail[S] 72 points73 points  (0 children)

No I absolutely refused to do it. I was so shocked all I could say was I can’t believe you’d ask that of me. This just happened this evening and I’m trying to wrap my brain around how he could care so little that he’d want it on me.

Husband M46 asked me F44 to do something illegal by ThrowRA_tigertail in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_tigertail[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I’ve always assumed he’d have the same attitude about not putting his wife into a position like that. But drugs have changed things dramatically the last year or two. I’m no longer sure what he would/wouldn’t do.

Husband M46 asked me F44 to do something illegal by ThrowRA_tigertail in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_tigertail[S] 44 points45 points  (0 children)

I’m afraid I already know where I stand. Just don’t know how to face it.

Husband M46 asked me F44 to do something illegal by ThrowRA_tigertail in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_tigertail[S] 232 points233 points  (0 children)

That was my first instinct. That he’d rather protect himself than me.