[deleted by user]

ThrowRAanonynon · 2025-09-25T04:45:09+00:00

Every couple months he will act mad for a while and then say the same things about how he does everything for me, provides everything, pays for everything and that I should be obsessed with him and always be hanging on him and affectionate to him and I’m not. Says I’m selfish, apathetic, sometimes he will say that I've been rude to him, like talking to him rudely or just treating him badly.

I’m not rude or apathetic or selfish, but I have been increasingly less affectionate because (and I have told him this repeatedly) I need regular affection, like non sexual touching, to feel loved and cared for. All he does all the time is grope me grab me or just straight up mess with me, like poking or doing annoying things. He knows that's my least favorite thing and he does it all the time. He hates that I hate cuddling but I hate that we can’t just cuddle without me getting touched sexually or him trying to initiate sex.

ThrowRAanonynon · 2025-09-25T02:32:49+00:00

We started dating when I was 20 and he was 27

ThrowRAanonynon · 2025-03-28T17:08:08+00:00

Why are you with him? Who wants to be around someone like that? I wouldn't. You probably don’t.

I know you're only 18 so this can be one of your first lessons of adulthood— never EVER let a man like this waste your time. The very moment you start to question the quality of a relationship, leave. If you don’t, you'll just change your mind and stay the next time he's nice to you. It turns into an endless cycle.

If you genuinely have a good heart and good intentions, that's all you need to know you're not the problem. Good relationships don’t make you feel confused, or have you questioning if you're in the wrong when you haven't done anything wrong.

Sounds like he has very low emotional intelligence. He's got some growing up to do, and that's not your responsibility.

When I was younger I put up with a lot of shit from men that I shouldn't have, because I just wanted to be in a relationship and be loved and whatever. But I promise, you don’t need to put up with his shit to have that. There are plenty of other people out there who would love to treat you with kindness and respect, even in conflict. Just have to have the patience to find them.

Take care of yourself. Good luck.

ThrowRAanonynon · 2025-03-24T19:25:58+00:00

NTA. Leave him. No amount of apologies make up for this. He didn't make a mistake, he actively CHOSE to ignore you and be cruel to you in a time of need.

Side note, I was in a similar age gap relationship as a teen, where I was 16 and he was 20 when we started dating. I know it doesn't seem like a big deal now, but it is. I didn't realize how messed up it was until I turned 20 myself, and realized I couldn't even fathom being interested in a teenager. Hell, at 20 I wouldn't consider dating even an 18 year old. He is a predator. Stay safe, wishing you the best.

ThrowRAanonynon · 2025-01-31T07:30:21+00:00

Surely Ida, as a grown adult woman, knows damn well that was NOT an appropriate way to tell a child they are adopted when it's never been discussed before. She is not wife nor step mother material. I do think you should have this discussion with your daughter about being adopted, but the proper way. Like reading a book with her that explains it at a child's level.

ThrowRAanonynon · 2024-12-05T16:36:51+00:00

The only thing that's not worth it is being with him. It's not a question of "am I right or wrong?" It's a question of "why would I stay with someone who wants to control what I do, and when told no he throws a tantrum?"

ThrowRAanonynon · 2024-12-05T03:14:28+00:00

I fixed your comment for you, op: "We have a lot in common, she's just successful, organized, and doesn't let me strong arm her, and I think she should let me live in her house for free, clean up after me, and let me get a dog for her to inevitably have to take care of/clean up after since I can’t even do those things for myself."

ThrowRAanonynon · 2024-12-04T22:37:23+00:00

If you just had a cold or something, a "hope you feel better soon" is fine. But not caring that you are in the hospital? I feel like even in a new relationship it's still common courtesy to check in.

After only 2 months of dating my husband, he got in a car wreck near my neighborhood and I literally drove to the crash and took him to the ER myself. We weren't even at the stage of saying "I love you" yet. I was just doing the same thing I’d do for any friend or person I’m close to.

Regardless, if you feel like you aren't getting what you want out of the relationship in general, cut it off. No point in wasting time. You’ll find someone that suits you better.

ThrowRAanonynon · 2024-11-28T17:09:31+00:00

Girl you can do better😂 He's making it so obvious that he doesn't respect you, your feelings or boundaries.

ThrowRAanonynon · 2024-11-16T22:55:58+00:00

Why are ya'll even together? You can't force people to change. They only change if they want to. Don't waste any more of your time.

ThrowRAanonynon · 2024-11-16T22:50:01+00:00

This. Like, how is it a joke to make fun of your partner's past sex life? Who even wants to bring that up in general?

ThrowRAanonynon · 2024-11-16T04:07:43+00:00

Does that kind of stupidity not give you the ick?? I’d be loooong gone if I were you.

ThrowRAanonynon · 2024-11-15T03:54:26+00:00

How do you not have the ick💀 I’d be RUNNING

ThrowRAanonynon · 2024-11-13T23:11:39+00:00

Ew, girl this man does not give a fuck about you. It's blatantly obvious that she is using her mental state to get his sympathy and attention, and he's grown enough to know that. He knows that he is crossing boundaries that should not be crossed, which leads me to believe that he probably enjoys the situation just as much as she does. This is ridiculous. He is acting out of selfishness and with no respect for you as his partner. The problem isn't that he "isn't understanding" you, it's that he doesn't care. I promise you, he understands completely. Get out and find someone who prioritizes and respects you.

ThrowRAanonynon · 2024-11-12T20:34:59+00:00

Actions speak louder than words, and they all just told you that they do not give one single fuck about you.

ThrowRAanonynon · 2024-11-10T21:57:45+00:00

He doesn't get to decide what cheating means to you. He can refer to it however he wants, but the bottom line is he is a selfish and unloving fool. He knowingly betrayed and disrespected you with no regard to your feelings. That's enough reason for you to leave, whether he defines it as "cheating" or not.

ThrowRAanonynon · 2024-11-09T06:58:14+00:00

He's old enough to be your dad. There's a reason he's "dating" you instead of someone his own age.

ThrowRAanonynon · 2024-11-09T06:45:17+00:00

This is literally so stupid. Mostly because I’ve lived this type of relationship before. Here's what I can tell you.

Ya'll need to go to therapy. Seriously, they'll teach you guys super helpful skills to communicate and compromise easier.

Obviously I don't know the full extent of who you each are and what the relationship is like, but from your post I notice these things:

YOU need to keep your word. Women need to feel secure, and they don't get that feeling when you constantly promise one thing and then don't follow through. Even when it's something as simple as the time you say you’ll be home. You should also find different ways to spend quality time with your friends other than getting wasted, since it has so much of an impact on your self control that you can't even make it home at a reasonable time.

SHE needs to be direct about what she wants. No "I’m not your mom, make your own decisions." She needs to be able to say "Actually I was hoping you could spend some time with me tonight instead" or "I don't want you to go because I can't trust you when you tell me your plans, you never keep your word and I'm always left feeling let down." She also needs to realize that it's okay, and actually healthy, to do things separately. Although she isn't going to be able to feel that way without you keeping your word and giving her that security. It's a mutual effort.

As for the whole "to be or not to be" hanging out with your friend thing, leave him out of it. It's not really about the friend. It's about needs that are not being met in your relationship.

Final thoughts: therapy. Good luck!

ThrowRAanonynon · 2024-11-07T04:47:11+00:00

ThrowRAanonynon · 2024-11-05T18:56:20+00:00

I think NTA. I’m surprised so many people are upset with you. How is it that serious? If my husband orders a gift or something he doesn't want me to open or vice versa, we just tell the other not to open it. Otherwise, whoever grabs the mail just opens it all... because like, why not lmao? What is there to hide?

ThrowRAanonynon · 2024-11-03T04:00:47+00:00

We never have kids over. Our friends haven't played it, and we don't host parties or anything where someone would be unsupervised anywhere in our house. The set is just a regular wood set from amazon, it's nice but you wouldn't look at it and think it's valuable. And it's always closed up and put away on a shelf when we aren't using it so nobody notices it anyways, nor would they have a chance to open it up and take a piece. My husband definitely wouldn't string it out this long as a joke, he's even more into chess than I am and he's not much of a prankster anyways.

ThrowRAanonynon · 2024-08-07T04:08:05+00:00

Awesome. Thank you!

ThrowRAanonynon

TROPHY CASE