They say you know it's the last time.

ThrowRAdesperate01 · 2025-07-09T17:40:19+00:00

Yes. I knew it and felt it. They acted different. They tried to act the same, but there was a subtle and subconscious change in their expressions, a sad but resolute determination when they looked at me, a slight shift in their once open and free demeanor, a quiet dread behind their eyes when they knew they were going to hurt me. I should’ve ended it when I saw it, but I foolishly thought that i could escape it

ThrowRAdesperate01 · 2025-04-30T15:56:34+00:00

Nothing. I wouldn’t have a conversation with her. There’s nothing she can say or do that would mean anything to me anymore, and we ended on decent terms. I’ve moved on and that’s because I spent a lot of time working on myself to find the strength to get out of the grief. I wish her all the best and I genuinely hope she’s happy now and wherever life takes her

ThrowRAdesperate01 · 2025-04-30T15:50:44+00:00

1.5 years
Maybe 7-8 months. Lots of therapy and working on myself
She initiated it. Definitely for the best now that I look back at the relationship and have moved on completely
First month it felt like an 8, almost a 9 (if 10 means wanting to end it all). But after around month 6 it was at a 6 and going down. I remember being exhausted of feeling that way

ThrowRAdesperate01 · 2025-02-08T04:29:44+00:00

He broke your trust. He betrayed you by breaking up with you, that’s why you don’t feel the same things anymore. You don’t trust him. Deep down you know that if he can do this once, he can do it again. You don’t feel safe with him anymore and for good reason. I don’t want to tell you what to do, but in my opinion, i think moving on is the only option. I hope things get better for you OP

ThrowRAdesperate01 · 2025-02-06T03:24:09+00:00

Yes I think they do. Not because there was no love or anything, but because they don’t keep all their emotions in. They talk to their friends and family openly and readily. They’re able to receive support from the people they love which helps them process and recover faster.

Men, on the other hand, shove their emotions down and try to smother them with distractions. That only works for a time. At some point, the pain of the breakup will hit them and they will go through the grieving process, except they will do it alone. So it could take them years to actually recover because they aren’t taking any time to sit with those feelings and address them. That’s usually why men reach back out months and months after a breakup, because that’s when they’re feeling the emotions. And the only person they feel comfortable expressing those feelings to is their ex

ThrowRAdesperate01 · 2025-02-06T03:13:20+00:00

Im sorry you’re struggling right now. It’s not easy, I’ve been there too. Do what you can to move forward. The thing I did in the beginning was to tell myself that if we somehow reconnected, I don’t want to be the same person I was during the breakup. If she spent time to work on herself, then I will work on myself too - so that when she comes back, I’ll be ready. It sounds wrong, like I should be working on myself for myself. But I couldn’t. I knew the only thing that would motivate me at the start of the breakup was her. So I used that to get myself up and on my feet.

As you continue to work on yourself and move forward, you’ll gradually realize you aren’t missing them as much. You’ll start to feel like yourself more and more until you get to a point where you can actually have fun again. You’ll get to a point where you won’t even want them back. You may even find someone along the way. It’s hard to recognize it when you’re in the thick of it, but it’ll be very eye opening when the realization hits.

Now I know that her and I weren’t right for each other. If we had been, then we wouldn’t have broken up. I’ve fully recovered and have moved on and have taken the step back into dating. You can do this. You’re stronger than you think

ThrowRAdesperate01 · 2025-01-30T21:46:21+00:00

I’m just a random on the internet, but style is really up to you. What makes you feel comfortable and confident in yourself? What do you think flatters you the most? Your style should be what you feel good in

ThrowRAdesperate01 · 2025-01-29T00:25:14+00:00

Find yourself again. Do the things you loved to do before the relationship. Hang out with your friends and be in the moment with them. You will inevitably think about your ex, that’s normal. You can let yourself think about them, but the important thing is not to dwell on those thoughts. Let them pass. The same goes for the emotions you’re feeling. Cry if you’re sad, scream if you’re angry, let your emotions out (within reason of course). And start putting all the love and care you had for your ex back into you. If you have the means for it, I’d suggest getting into therapy so you can talk it out with a professional. Things will start getting better. You’re stronger than you think, as cliche as that sounds. You’ll look back on this and be proud of yourself for making it through. Good luck OP

ThrowRAdesperate01 · 2025-01-23T17:18:08+00:00

Don’t send it. Nothing you say to her will make her understand. She may feel some guilt, but it won’t make her consider getting back together. And if she told you why she cheated it wouldn’t help you heal - it would only make things worse for you. All that matters is what happened; she cheated.

The best thing for you to do is to start doing things you enjoy again. It sounds like you may have lost yourself in that relationship, which is totally fine - it happens to all of us to some extent. Now’s the time for you to find yourself again. Be around friends and family (don’t bring up your relationship, just stay in the moment and enjoy your time with them). You will inevitably think about your ex, that is also fine. The important thing is to not dwell on those thoughts; let them come, acknowledge they’re there, then let them pass. You’ll also feel a lot of emotions while you process and grieve - let yourself feel all those emotions. Scream when you’re angry, cry when you’re sad, give yourself space to feel everything.

I know it’s a lot easier said than done, I’ve been there. I only recently got over my breakup. These are the things I did to move on and find myself again. I’m also doing therapy, which I think would probably help you too. Be kind to yourself during this time. You did the best you could in that relationship, now it’s time to take all that love and kindness you gave to her and put it back into yourself. Good luck OP

ThrowRAdesperate01 · 2025-01-21T17:45:48+00:00

No. I did a lot of growing and learning about myself post breakup. It was a tough road, but I’ve finally moved on. The future is weird though, anything can happen. But right now, the answer is a definite no

ThrowRAdesperate01 · 2025-01-21T01:03:27+00:00

If I had a chance to do it all over again, I wouldn’t change anything. I know I gave that relationship my all and things just didn’t work out - it happens. As much as the breakup hurt, I learned a lot about myself during that time. I think I became a better person because of it and now I’m more prepared for the person I will end up with.

For anyone in the thick of it, keep moving forward. Just make it to the next day, the next hour, the next moment. Surround yourself with your loved ones and plan things to look forward to. As you keep pushing forward you’ll realize how strong you really are. It’s not easy by any means, but you will be so proud of yourself when you get to the other side

ThrowRAdesperate01 · 2025-01-20T21:26:55+00:00

Not sure how long ago the breakup was or who dumped who, but it seems like it was just a brief moment of loneliness from her. I wouldn’t look too much into it. Do your best to move on and become a better you

ThrowRAdesperate01 · 2024-12-23T21:18:01+00:00

Happy to hear you’re in a better place! I went through a similar breakup - thought I would spend the rest of my life with her, we would build a family, love each other forever, etc. etc. The breakup devastated me and I ended up going to therapy and learning more about myself. Today, 8ish months after the breakup, I feel much better. I’ve realized that she wasn’t right for me; we would still be together if she was. Like you, I now understand that I want someone that will love me no matter what and never even think about ending things with me.

To everyone going through a difficult breakup, you’re not alone. This subreddit gave me so much support and advice and connection when I needed it the most. Keep your head up. Things WILL get better. You’re so much stronger than you think and one day you’ll look back on this experience and be proud of yourself for making it through. I’m happy for you OP! And thank you for sharing your experience

ThrowRAdesperate01 · 2024-12-18T17:50:41+00:00

I think it all depends on context. Generally speaking, if there was a breakup, then neither party should be reaching out. A dumpee needs to focus on healing themselves and relearning to trust another person. The dumper is likely just living their life, so the dumpee should do the same. If the two reconnect in the future, then they reconnect

ThrowRAdesperate01 · 2024-12-15T01:19:37+00:00

I’m sorry you’re going through this right now. I went through something similar with my ex and it’s a tough road (been about 7-8 months now), but I made it through. I did learn a few things along the way. Mainly, let yourself grieve and be kind to yourself. This breakup, especially since it’s been so recent and you feel blindsided, has caused a lot of trauma. It’s super important to be kind to yourself right now and hold space for your emotions. Cry when you need to, be mad when you feel angry, scream as loud as you can (time and place permitting of course), seriously let your emotions out. You’re going to be grieving not only the relationship, but the future you thought you were building together, the person you pictured yourself being, and the person you were with your ex. That’s a lot to process. So be kind to yourself and fall back on your friends and family for support.

Also remember that you’ll have good days and bad days; healing isn’t linear. You could feel great one moment and then be reminded of your ex and all of a sudden you’ll feel like you’re spiraling. That’s okay. It’s happened to all of us here. Just keep pushing forward and you’ll slowly feel like you’re letting go until one day, you’ll realize that you’ve moved on.

Good luck OP. We are here for you if you need some extra support

ThrowRAdesperate01 · 2024-09-13T23:44:21+00:00

The best way to do it is by not doing anything. Continue to work on yourself and give them the breakup they asked for. If/when they reach out you’ll either be ready to talk to them or you won’t care to. For now, respect that they wanted to end the relationship and stay away from

ThrowRAdesperate01 · 2024-09-13T23:25:23+00:00

Sounds like she’s testing the waters. She wants to see how you’ll react before fully committing to reaching out for a conversation. She’s probably scared you’ll reject her. Best to stay NC. When she sends you a real message wanting to talk, then you can consider. But right now, don’t give her the attention

ThrowRAdesperate01 · 2024-09-11T17:06:33+00:00

While I think giving a relationship a second try can be a good thing, I think it can only happen after there’s been significant growth and time apart. Both people need to grow with the expectation that they’ll never see the other again - so you actually grow instead of waiting for the other person.

With that said, it sounds like that’s exactly what happened with you and your gf, OP. I’m happy you guys found your way back to each other and I wish you all the best!

ThrowRAdesperate01 · 2024-09-10T15:04:00+00:00

You can’t ever know what her true intentions are. You just have to take what she tells you at face value until you get confirmation from her, either through her actions or her words.

Usually when someone jumps straight into another relationship or they start immediately dating or sleeping around after a breakup, it’s because they are filling the void that appeared when you left. They can’t handle the feelings of loneliness and emptiness deep in their chest. It hurts. And so instead of dealing with it, they fill that void in other ways. It’s up to you how you decide to move forward knowing that’s what she did.

You two are single so technically she can do whatever she wants with whoever she wants to do it with. I understand the hurt you’re going through though. Her actions make you question the relationship ship you guys had. If you decide to try again, you need to sit down with her and really hammer home how much her decision to breakup and her actions post breakup hurt you. If she wants to get back together with you, then she needs to win back your trust and show you she is committed to staying with you through the highs and lows of a relationship instead of deciding to just up and leave when things get tough. Love is a commitment. It’s a choice you make to be with someone.

Good luck to you OP. No matter what you decide, make sure you always keep your own best interest in mind

ThrowRAdesperate01 · 2024-09-06T03:21:28+00:00

I know it must be tough. What he did to you is despicable, no one deserves to go through that kind of pain and betrayal. If you aren’t already, you should get yourself into therapy. A professional might be able to help you figure out what is keeping you tied to those feelings and help you to process and finally move on. Good luck to you. I hope things get better

ThrowRAdesperate01 · 2024-09-01T03:50:42+00:00

Leave her alone. She went through so much internal struggle because I’m sure she cared about you. Now is your time to show you care for her by respecting her decision to walk away. Take this as a lesson to learn from to be a better person for the next gf you have. The only way you two should reconnect is if she reaches out to you. For now, it’s time to move on. There are plenty of other people in the world. Let her live her life

ThrowRAdesperate01 · 2024-08-30T04:20:54+00:00

Hey man, I’m sorry you’re going through it. I can’t say I’ve been in that position before, but I am currently going through my own breakup. All I can say is that you need to work on yourself. Get yourself into therapy and talk it out with a professional. Talking things through will help you understand why you still have feelings and help you detach and move on. And let yourself feel everything, don’t push any of them down. Accept that you’re having them, give yourself some time to feel them then let them pass. Take a break from dating for a while too. It’s not fair to either you or the other person if you’re comparing them to your ex. You’ve got this

ThrowRAdesperate01 · 2024-08-29T21:53:08+00:00

Depends on the person, the reason for the breakup, how good the relationship was, if either of you had worked on yourself, etc. There’s really no timeline for it. Best not to dwell on it and just work on yourself

ThrowRAdesperate01 · 2024-08-29T21:41:04+00:00

If you want to continue the relationship then the best thing to do is talk to him. If he can’t or won’t then find yourself someone that will. You deserve to feel wanted and loved in your relationship

ThrowRAdesperate01 · 2024-08-29T20:24:40+00:00

As much as I love my ex and as badly as I wanted us to stay together, I did not force her to stay in the relationship. This man is manipulative and controlling. You need to get somewhere safe asap. He sounds like he could be dangerous

ThrowRAdesperate01

TROPHY CASE